Top 'Bedknobs and Broomsticks' Quotes

Carrie.: Who else lives here?
Miss Price.: I live alone— it suits my purposes.

Paul.: I liked you better as a rabbit, Charlie.
Charlie.: Shut up, you!

Miss Price.: Supper is at six. You will wash, thoroughly—
Charlie.: Wash?!
Miss Price.: You will wash yourselves, otherwise there will be no supper, is that clear?
[Miss Price leaves the room.]
Charlie.: A house of horrors, that's what we've come to.

Charlie.: Don't they have no rules?
Paul.: Of course they do. The king makes them up as they go.

[A British Army officer's car stops at a junction on a country road where an elderly man is painting over signposts.]
Captain Greer: You there! Which way to Pepperinge Eye?
Elderly Man.: Couldn't say, sir—said on the wireless to paint out the signposts in case the Nazis drop in.
Captain Greer.: I'm not a Nazi, I'm a British officer!
Elderly Man.: That's what you say if you was a Nazi, isn't it sir?

Mr. Browne.: I found the door open, the curtains closed—the house was deserted.
Miss Price.: Why on earth would someone do a thing like that?
Mr. Browne.: I would say this may have something to do with it… [gestures towards an unexploded bomb]
Miss Price.: Merciful heavens! I should be terrified at the very idea of living here.
Mr. Browne.: You would have thought so, wouldn't you? I am, by nature, a little bit of a coward—but then I pondered, as I often do: in the perverse nature of things, this diabolical object is probably the best friend I ever had. It has enabled me for the first time in my life to live like a king. Shall we go in?

Paul.: Is this London?
Carrie.: 'Course it is. Can't you smell that lovely sooty air?

Stallkeeper.: The snippers that clipped old King Edward's cigars.
Mr. Browne.: Made in Hong Kong—two bob a dozen, I'd say.

[Miss Price has just arrived on an old motorbike, emitting blasts of yellow smoke. After she has gone, the two army officers begin to speak.]
Captain Greer.: Who is that?
General Teagler.: Miss Price—splendid woman. Her late father served with me at Vimy Ridge..
Captain Greer.: What's she burning in this thing?—It smells a bit like sulphur..
General Teagler.: Nonsense! One can't make a motor fuel out of sulphur!

Miss Price.: [reading from the book she has found at last] Ah! "Substitutiary locomotion. The ancient art of..." [She reads for a few moments in a whisper.] Ah! Here we are: "The spell which creates this force is five mystic words. These words are—" [She pauses incredulously, and turns over the tattered leaves of the book.] ...But the rest of the book is missing!
Mr. Browne.: Now you see why I closed down the college.

[Miss Price's belongings inadvertently come to life after she recites an ancient magical spell. Mr. Browne begins to dance with a nightdress.]
Miss Price.: That's my nightgown!
Mr. Browne.: Is it really, my dear?
Miss Price.: Yes, and I'm not responsible for its behavior.
Mr. Browne.: Obviously not, my dear.

[Miss Price and the children are being held captive in her house by German soldiers.]
Colonel.: No, frauleinThis is not the invasion. It is just a small exercise. A minor raid aims to cause panic and spread some bad cooking. If you understand that the German forces can land anytime, anywhere, you might consider a fair peace.
Charlie: Not bloody likely!
Paul: Go on, Miss Price. Do it to him.
Miss Price: I must say, it's very tempting. Colonel, how would you feel about being turned into a nice white rabbit?[The colonel speaks German to a soldier, ignoring Miss Price]I asked, how would you feel about being turned into a nice white rabbit?
[Paul smiles]
Colonel: Be quiet, please.
[Miss Price stands up, points at the Colonel, but cannot remember the correct words to the incantation]
Miss Price: Filigree, apogee, epigee...!
Charlie: Not again.
Carrie: Your memory, Miss Price.
Miss Price: Charles, would you kindly fetch me my notebook from the workroom, please?
Charlie: Righto.
[He attempts to run, but a German officer restrains Charlie. Miss Price and Paul try to get Charlie back in a big fuss. The colonel, annoyed, turns to them]
Colonel: SILENCE!![The commotion stops] Fraulein, we have work to do. I am sorry, but I must send all of you someplace where you will no longer be a nuisance.[Speaks an order in German and continues working]

[Charlie notices an odd bottle on a shelf in Miss Price's office.]
Charlie: Poisoned dragon's liver?!
Miss Price: Poisoned dragon's liver.
Paul: Do you poison the dragon or just the liver?
Miss Price: It comes prepared. It's part of the school equipment.

Charlie: Why d'you keep the curtains closed?
Mr. Browne: So we can enjoy our cheese and wine in the gentle glow of candlelight.
Charlie: I bet it's so the coppers won't catch you hiding out here.

[Secretary Bird notices King Leonidas' star necklace is missing and reacts]
King Leonidas: [growls] Stop jibbering! [hits Secretary Bird on the head] What's the matter with you?
Secretary Bird: [blubbing] Your royal star! They've stolen your royal star.
King Leonidas: [laughs] Don't be ridiculous! What do you think this is? [dangles a whistle in front of Secretary Bird who blows on it, King Leonidas roars so loudly, he blows Secretary Bird's clothes off] WHYYYYYYYY DIDDDDDN'T YOUUUUUUUUUUUU SAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!

[Carrie tries on some elaborate jewellery at a market stall and admires herself in a mirror.]
Stallkeeper: Who do you think you are, the Queen of Sheba?

[Miss Price is searching in Mr. Browne's library, standing on a ladder attached to a rail on the high shelves.]
Mr. Browne: What's your name?
Miss Price: [disinterestedly]Miss Price.
Mr. Browne: No, I mean your first name.
Miss Price: Eglantine.
Mr. Browne: Eglantine...Eglantine... [He pushes the ladder upon which Miss Price is standing along the rail, startling her.]Oh, how you shine!

Paul: What is this—a toyshop?
Carrie: No, it's a nursery. Ain't you ever seen a nursery?
Charlie: [to Carrie]No, and neither have you.

Charlie: Hurt your foot, Miss Price?
Miss PriceOh, I just twisted my ankle.
Charlie.Sorry to hear that.
Miss Price.Thank you. It is nothing serious.
Charlie.Lovely weather for flying last night.
[heavy pause].
Miss Price.Why did you say that, Charles?
Charlie.:[bringing out her broken broomstick].Game's up, Miss Price. We know what you are.

Mr. Browne.: I will make the bed and everyone in it vanish.
Bookman.: Disappear? I want to see a cheap jack entertainer do a trick like that.
Mr. Browne:Cheap jack entertainer. Now that was naughty.

Paul.: That is not a rabbit—that is Mr. Browne, that is!
Miss Price.: If you are Mr. Browne, would you kindly get down off my lap?