Controversial Borrowing Stories That Split The Internet

Posted by Redditor u/Electrical-Fly-8244:

My younger sister is finally getting married. COVID delays meant it was a "minimony" with about nine people, including the officiant and photographer. They plan a bigger wedding in a couple of years once international travel opens up.

A few weeks ago, she texted me the look she wanted. I saw a beautiful, expensive necklace from our grandma that would suit her dress. I offered her to wear it. I said, “You could wear it if you wanted!” She liked the idea and said she would try it on.

Today, she is visiting. I showed her the necklace. I praised how lovely it was and how much I liked it. She agreed and asked if I did not want to wear it at my wedding then. I shrugged. I said I could still wear it, and it did not bother me that she wore it first.

She became very angry. She said if she wore it at her wedding, the necklace would be hers. I was shocked and did not know what to say. I said something like, “I thought you were just borrowing it.” She told me it was insane to tell her she could wear it then without giving it to her.

I truly do not know what to do. I love the necklace and wanted to own and wear it for years. Was offering her to wear it without giving it to her wrong? I want her happy on her day. This is the only necklace I have from our grandma.

AITA, Reddit?

From a former Redditor:

I have been married to my husband for three years. We have one son. The boy's other parent dislikes me. She hates that their father found someone after five years of divorce. Because of this, my stepson, Jack, and I do not have a good relationship. I do not involve myself in his life because that is how he and his mother want it. He stops talking to me when I try to talk. I stop trying. I offer to do things for him, but his mother always says she does not want "that woman" involved. I stay out to keep the peace.

Jack and I are both musicians. I play several brass, wind, and guitar instruments. He joined the band this year as a ninth grader. Naturally, he wants to play jazz guitar. His mother knows I own several instruments. I offered him a lesser-value guitar, but he and his mother want my 1963 Fender. Absolutely not! First, he does not care for what he owns. Second, why loan something so valuable to someone who does not want me around? The guitar sells for much more, but I got a deal for $3,000.

My husband says I am right not to do it. He says I should not offer the old Squier guitar, which costs $250. His mother calls me constantly, using harsh names, claiming I are causing a rift between him and his father. She says I must try to fix things and let him borrow it for the school year. She even had her friends bother me on Facebook. She claims I ruined his freshman year band experience, and I need to fix that.

From Redditor u/Low_Statistician6031:

I (29F) moved to a new neighborhood nearly two years ago. I live alone; no partner or kids. My mom (80F) lives with me six to eight months a year. I like this neighborhood. I have had no issues until now. The community is tight-knit: neighborhood BBQs happen monthly, and the kids play together after school.

My next-door neighbors have a severely disabled child. She is six, almost seven, non-verbal, and uses a wheelchair. Nurses help care for her, but I see her parents struggle. Her mom quit her job to become a full-time carer for her and their older child. I became close to the parents; they are lovely neighbors. Their older child is respectful and one of the sweetest kids in the neighborhood.

For my mom, I bought a minivan. I customized it with a ramp and wheelchair tie-downs so I can easily move her and her mobility equipment—usually an ECV or wheelchair—when she stays with me. For the other four to six months, my mom is with her sister and friends in our home country. The car sits unused unless I need to move larger items that won't fit in my daily driver. The neighbors lack a car for their daughter. They cannot move her out of the wheelchair without struggling with tubes and wires. I offered them my minivan if I wasn't using it for my mom. We made an agreement that has worked for almost 18 months.

Now, they want to use the car for a road trip. The trip lasts over two weeks; they plan to take the kids to Disney World for the first time. My mom must arrive a couple of days after they leave. I asked them to delay the trip by a few days so I could handle getting her from the airport with less stress. They insist on the dates they choose. I refused. I need to comfortably get my mom from the airport; after a 12-hour flight, she should not worry about getting into or out of the car.

They called me selfish. The community ousted me. I did not get invited to the last BBQ. Nobody says hello or waves back at me on the street now. The neighbor kids who visit my dogs and play in my yard have not come in nearly two weeks. I texted the neighbors, but the messages failed. I think they blocked me.

I feel like I live in a hostile place now; it feels awful. Should I just give in and let them take my car?

From Redditor u/CrystalDemise:

I (22F) wear hoodies, and my sister (15F) wants them constantly. I can't afford new ones often; they cost too much in my country. I buy two a year maximum. I treat them well because I want them to look new and last. My sister thinks she has the right to borrow them all the time and wear them out.

This morning, she entered my room to take one of my newer hoodies. I was asleep, so I could not speak; the moment did not register. She returned an hour ago, and my hoodie looked worn out, as if she had worn it for five years. It was fuzzy and damaged everywhere. I do not know how she managed this in one school day. It was that bad.

I confronted her. I told her, "If you cannot return what you borrowed in its first condition, you should not borrow it at all." My mother stepped in. She said I am selfish for not lending my hoodies to my sister. My father agreed. When I tried to reason, it turned into a shouting match with my sister because she thought I was exaggerating. Both my parents agreed with her on that point too.

I take great care of my things. Things cost a lot here. Seeing them worn out just because my sister does not care makes me sad. So, AITA?

From Redditor u/meliama:

I own a dream car. It is a small two-seater sports car. I take immaculate care of it. I saved for years to buy it in cash. It is my first big purchase.

I set rules for driving it if a friend borrows or drives it. I follow those rules myself.

I do not think that is unfair. I follow those same standards when I drive my own car. I have sometimes let friends drive my car on weekend trips together, and they all accepted my requests and treated the car carefully.

I started dating a guy this year, and I usually drive us. Recently, we moved in together, and his car broke down and needed to go to the junkyard. He wanted to use my car sometimes. I said, 'Sure,' but I reminded him of the car rules. He thought that was too much. He lets me drive his car without those kinds of rules.

I wanted my car handled right. He got frustrated because he felt I monitoring his speed and braking on my phone, like a learner, was condescending. He also felt my rule against driving after any alcohol was unreasonable; one or two drinks spaced by a big dinner is fine and safe.

I stated I do not want that in my car. Someone can get drunker than planned with a stiff drink or poor eating, or lose track. So, I prefer no drinking at all.

I want the speed/aggressive driving app for myself. I do not want to parent him or anyone else. I will take the car back if I see someone I trust driving like crazy. He called me too uptight. I got frustrated and told him he could borrow a car from someone less uptight. This is who I am; that is not changing.

He said I was unhelpful. We are a couple; we should trust each other. I said I just wanted him to respect my car the way all my friends do.

He wanted to be trusted without monitoring, like a teenager with a helicopter parent. AITA?

From Redditor u/CrazyladyIguess:

I took my son to Six Flags. He is six and just under the height limit to ride roller coasters alone, so I ride with him. He likes the kiddie coasters. He wanted to ride one coaster again and again. I rode as many as I could, but motion sickness made me sick. He still wanted more rides.

While I told him it was time for something else, a couple of teens approached me. They offered to ride with my son for more rides on the coaster. They claimed they were roller coaster fans aiming for "credits" (one credit per coaster). They were too tall for the kiddie coaster without a child. I did not see the appeal of a kiddie coaster for a teen. I did not see the harm in it, watching from ten feet away in broad daylight. I said, "You know what, sure."

I stood by the exit and watched them. They took turns riding with the child, then said thanks and left after everyone had gone.

I told my husband about it when we got home. I thought it was just a funny, weird story. He got very upset. He thought it was dangerous. I see no scheme. I watched everything. He said, "Stranger danger, that's common sense." I replied, Okay, but we walked in a crowd of strangers all day. I feel like an irresponsible parent now. Nothing bad happened. I cannot think of how harm could occur given the situation.

From Redditor u/Artistic_Drop3345:

Listen. I (20F) have a (17F) sister who borrows my clothes, but she is obese. We always shared clothes because we were similar in size growing up. Recently, she gained a lot of weight. She is taller, so she carries it better than some, but she is much larger than me. I weigh a healthy amount for my height, but I prefer baggier sweaters and shirts. I mostly wear stretchy leggings.

Since I work, I can buy nicer, trendier clothes than my sister. She always asks to borrow my sweaters and leggings for school. Some of my baggier clothes fit, but she stretches them out a lot. She even ripped some items. Last week, she wanted my VS leggings for school. She ripped them along the thigh while sitting down. I did not mean for that. I felt frustrated because they were my favorite pair and are no longer sold by VS. She also stretched the collar on one of my favorite sweaters.

This past weekend, I finally told her she cannot borrow my clothes anymore. I always tried to be a good sister. I never shamed her or brought up her weight. But she kept pushing. She asked if it was about the leggings (my parents bought me a new pair to compensate) or if she did something wrong. I simply said I did not want her wearing my clothes. She kept pressing. So, I gently told her she is too big now to wear my clothes and was stretching them. I told her I do not care about her size and would help her find a job for nicer clothes, but she left.

She told my parents and other family members I was shaming her for her weight and that it is unfair I do not share my clothes. She thinks the leggings caused the issue, but my parents replaced them. I am just tired of my good clothes getting stretched. I tried talking to her, but she is upset with me. My parents stayed out of it, but some of my sister’s friends tell my friends I am an asshole and a bitch for saying she is fat.

Reddit, AITA for not letting my sister borrow my clothes anymore because of her weight?

EDIT: I skimmed over this. She did not think she ruined my sweaters by stretching the collar. She thinks it is not a big deal and that the collars are not stretching much, and I am overreacting about the leggings. She blames the rip on them being "old," which they are, but they were good quality. Her behavior shows she does not think she gained as much weight and thinks I am being dramatic about the sweaters. So, she does not see that she is ruining my clothes, which is why I worried about being the AH.

From Redditor u/Ok-Shirt-4258:

I have no kids and do not need a house; renting is better in my city. I have inexpensive tastes. So, though I am not rich, I can afford what I want and need and save money.

My friend has very expensive tastes—clothes, dining, travel, etc.—and everything always costs a lot. We took several trips together, and they looked very sad if we stayed in anything less than a 5-star hotel. I do not judge them for what makes them happy, just because it is not what makes me happy.

They curbed spending to pay debt. The high interest rate eats most repayments instantly. Five to ten thousand dollars would make the rest interest-free. I could skip repayment for that. I have been in that spot too. A handout would stop me from learning financial independence. I have a history of enabling friends. I bailed out friends many times. Ten thousand dollars has never been paid back. I helped because I could not watch anyone struggle like I did. I even paid for hotel upgrades for this friend after seeing them in 4-star hotels.

Did I lose sight of the struggle now that I am privileged, or does helping people in need just let them avoid working harder?

From Redditor u/purplepinapple789456:

My husband needed car repairs. Since I work from home, he asked to borrow mine while his car was fixed. I agreed, but he could not pair his phone with my car. I warned him. The last time he paired his phone, it disconnected my phone. The app I use for remote start failed. Also, his phone paired instead of mine whenever we drove together. This caused major irritation. I had to call tech support to remove his phone because it became the car's primary user.

His car went to the shop Friday. He used mine to commute to work Saturday and Sunday. We planned to get it back this morning. I did not drive my car all weekend because he had to work.

We picked up his car today. As soon as I started mine, his phone immediately paired with the Bluetooth. I asked why he paired it. He said he wanted to listen to Spotify. I got angry. I told him I only asked him not to pair his phone. He only used it for two days. He works less than five miles from home; he could have used the regular radio.

He said it was fine. I told him I could call and have them reset the Bluetooth if we could not unpair his phone. I told him it was not fine. Last time I did this, it took over an hour on the phone and was extremely annoying. I then told him that next time he needs repairs, he can rent a car because he cannot use mine again. AITA for stopping him from using my car?

I edit this because people confuse why I called tech support for the Bluetooth fix. My car has an app connected to my phone for remote start/lock/unlock. When he set up his phone, he removed me as the primary phone. My app stopped working. My car functions, like my GPS needed for client visits, also failed. He deleted my phone from the system because his phone would not pair, needing a password sent to my phone. This feature stops random people from connecting to my app or the car via Bluetooth.

He was not home when I needed the car. I needed the password sent to his phone as the main one. I called technical support to ask them to change his phone as the primary and switch it back to mine. If his phone was here, I could grab the password and finish fast. But he wasn't home, and he has limited phone access at work. That is why the call took an hour. They made me walk through resetting the computer and adding my phone like it was new.

I did not want him to pair his phone to my car again. Fixing it last time was a huge hassle. I did not want to do that again.

From Redditor u/throwaway19367485:

My aunt contacted me on Thanksgiving needing a favor. My family kept in touch with relatives when I was young; I have not seen them for ten years and rarely keep contact. This aunt sometimes texts or calls on holidays. She wants to buy a small restaurant she has worked at for seven years (the owner argues about selling because profits are good). Only one cook works there; he is key to running the restaurant. The cook is getting a marriage green card, but the process takes time, and his driver's license expires next month.

My aunt lives in TX; I live in WA. This cook paid a "broker" years ago to get him a WA driver’s license (easier for non-citizens). So, my aunt wants me to help renew this cook’s license by letting him "borrow" my address because a valid WA address is needed. The DMV will send the new license there, and someone must send the license to where the cook lives.

I asked why he cannot use the address on his current license. She said it costs money (a few thousand dollars). I do not know why she worries about the cook’s personal problems, but I assume she thinks she must do him a favor to keep him cooking after she buys the business (still undecided), or perhaps the owner asked for it. She was vague about the reason, just stating this favor is very important to her and her future business.

I told her indirectly I was unsure about letting a stranger use my address for his license (this seems illegal?), so letting him figure it out himself might be best, even if it costs money. My aunt has not replied since. I am certain she calls me a cold, heartless b*tch behind my back with the other aunts and my mom.

I cut contact with my mom two years ago. I could not handle her toxic, selfish, and judgmental presence anymore. I told my dad about the situation, seeking support. He did not see it as a big deal. He said, “Why not help out a family?” He added, “Do what you want.” His tone suggested I was overreacting.

Now I second-guess everything. Am I overreacting? AITA for not doing this for “family”? I have not slept well all weekend. Anxiety and overthinking plague me. I need an outside view. My family uses "because we're family" to excuse everything. My husband is the only one who tells me your family is not normal. I never discuss family matters with friends.

Am I overreacting by thinking this is illegal and refusing the favor? Is this really a “not-a-big-deal” situation? Was I not considerate enough of my aunt’s situation? AITA?

From Redditor u/Rare-Cup4824:

I got a tummy tuck. I hired a home health aide from an agency for several days since I live alone. The aide I got is a young mother. Her husband left town for the week, and her seven-month-old baby is with a sitter. The caregiver has a driver's license but no car. I added her to my insurance to drive for me while I heal. She shares a car with her husband, but he took it when he left.

Her babysitter called. She said the baby has a rash and there is no diaper rash cream. I am not a parent, but shouldn't a baby always have diaper rash cream? She asked to borrow my car to get the cream because she lacked a car and avoided paying for an Uber. The babysitter was forty-five minutes away. I felt uneasy about her taking my car for personal things, especially that far. I needed a caregiver. The babysitter would not go get it because she had other children.

I called the agency repeatedly to help her. They did not answer the phone because it was Sunday, even though they claim to be available twenty-four hours. I told her she could leave if they found another caregiver. She would handle her own ride. Since they wouldn't answer, she finally had a friend deliver the cream to the babysitter.

I sensed she was angry that I would not let her borrow my car. Still, I felt very uncomfortable with a stranger taking my car so far away. AITA?

From Redditor u/McLovinMyBacon:

My mother takes many holidays each year, about nine or ten. For some reason, she never has her own suitcase, so she always borrows mine. I have never minded before and always agreed.

Description of 'AITA For Not Letting My Mom Borrow My Suitcase?' in the list 'Controversial Borrowing Stories That Split The Internet'

AITA for not letting my mom borrow my suitcase this time?

From Redditor u/1247111622:

My friends and I toured Japan. The weather forecast warned of heavy rain. We are from England; the right response to rain is to ignore it, but things differ in Japan. Walking outside meant getting soaked. I warned my friends. I stopped to buy an umbrella. They hesitated, either underestimating the rain or thinking they could get one later if it actually started.

I warned them several times: if it rained, I would not let them borrow my umbrella. One friend had a raincoat, so it was mostly okay. The other did not. I reminded them I would not share it a few more times while we walked.

Roughly an hour later, heavy rain began. It looked like it would not stop soon. We had a train to catch, so we walked in the rain for half an hour to the station. I kept my word and refused them the umbrella, which fit two people easily. When we arrived, the friend without a raincoat was soaked. The other person was far from dry. Neither seemed happy.

AITA for standing by my word and not shielding my friend from the rain?

From Redditor u/ThisUserNameIsLawng:

I make a little over double her income.

Before meeting her, I traveled internationally every six months. Dating slowed travel. I worried she could afford trips because her job paid poorly. I did not want to feel like I had to pay. So, I never mentioned the money issue.

She brought up my frequent travel before we started dating. Instead of admitting how I felt then (I am an asshole for that part; honesty wins), I brought up a Thailand getaway proposed by a college friend I kept in touch with. She got excited and began planning. She researched destinations. I told her the trip cost seven days, hotel, and airfare: $3,500 per person. Her jaw dropped. I saw sadness on her face; picture a child going to the dentist instead of Disneyland.

She says she cannot afford the trip; it is three months away, and she wishes she earned more to go. I told her, "Yeah, I'm sorry. We can save up for next year." She was sad all night, but she did not want to be held while sleeping later.

She usually wakes me up in the morning because we wake up around the same time, and I sleep very heavily. I once slept through an earthquake that knocked my dresser over (buy eye screws and wire if you live in quake zones). She did not wake me this morning; luckily, the dog served as my backup alarm.

I get ready, and we end up in the kitchen together. I ask her what is wrong, explaining last night and not being woken up. She apologizes and accepts it is petty. She was upset I did not offer to pay any of her cash for the trip because I earn more than she does. I told her I have been burned before letting people borrow money. I have an ex who still owes me $2k; we dated for two years.

She gets upset, stating I do not trust her to pay me back and that she really wanted to go. I told her, "Okay, but as a compromise, you have to sign a contract." She got OFFENDED… "You don't trust me; we have been together so long, I promise I will pay you back," and she does not need paper to keep her word.

Three days of cold shoulder have passed, and I start asking myself if I went too far.

I want to make two things clear: I did not intend to go on this trip without her. My dad would kill me. I did not propose another vacation because this choice was fresh in my mind. A friend and I mentioned it recently in a group chat.

From Redditor u/annonymousbrowsin:

I (28M) scheduled a garage appointment last week on a weekday to install my car's original suspension and change to winter tires. The garage I use is in my hometown; I work in the city, about 45 minutes away. Since my girlfriend (24F) works from her apartment (we do not live together), I told her I would take her car.

The night before the garage appointment, I dropped my car at the garage after work. My girlfriend picked me up, and I dropped her at her apartment. Then, I went home (we live about seven minutes apart). Her car had three-quarters of a tank of gas left. The next day, I drove forty-five minutes to work. I sat in traffic for about an hour and a half to four-quarter on the way back. I then went to the garage to pay because it closes at five o'clock, and it was already four forty-five. Afterward, I picked up my girlfriend and drove back to the garage to get my car.

Description of 'AITA For Not Paying For My Girlfriend's Gas After Borrowing Her Car?' in the list 'Controversial Borrowing Stories That Split The Internet'

Over the weekend, I paid for breakfast as I usually do. On Sunday evening, I mentioned that I was going to go and put petrol in my own car, and she asked about filling hers up. I told her that I wouldn't be filling hers up, since I had paid for breakfast over the weekend. She pointed out that she also paid for our supper on Friday; she bought ingredients and made me the cheesecake I asked for. I told her we take turns paying, and me paying for her breakfast was also me paying for her petrol. She then brought up that this was the second time in a row that I hadn't filled the petrol in her car after taking it for work, and that she wouldn't be "allowing" me to take her car anymore when mine is in the garage. I laughed in her face and told her I would transfer her $10 for the petrol if she was going to be so petty. I didn't transfer her any money or put any petrol in her car.

It ended up costing her $70 to fill her tank. She did ask for the $10 from me, but I told her that if she asked again, she would be paying for herself at the dinner date I planned this weekend. She says I'm an a**hole who doesn't fulfill his promises; i told her that i didn't promise her anything.

From Redditor u/hotdogsandbalonie:

My parents passed a few years back, left money split between me (32F) and my brother Mark (30M). Mark has significant physical disabilities and needs ongoing care, special equipment, the works. It wasn't written down, maybe, but everyone knew his share was for his long-term care. My share was just mine.

I had this business idea I was passionate about, a solid plan, looked really good on paper. But starting costs were steep. My share wasn't quite enough to launch it properly. I needed more capital. So, I dipped into Mark's fund. Not all of it, not even half. I told myself it was an investment. A loan. If the business took off, I'd pay it back with interest, and Mark's future would be more secure. That was the plan. I mentioned something vague to my aunt (who helps Mark day-to-day) about moving funds for an investment that would benefit Mark long-term. Maybe I wasn't totally clear about the source? Things were hazy; it was stressful. She didn't really push back then; she seemed distracted.

The business is struggling. Supplier issues, market shifts, and bad luck caused this. It is losing money, not totally failing. Mark urgently needs new equipment. This is a major, urgent need. The borrowed money is stuck in the business. Pulling it out would destroy everything. This seems pointless now.

My aunt discovered the exact loss and where the money went. She screamed that I stole from my disabled brother, risking his future. Mark knows now. He gets no business assets, but he knows the money for his new chair is gone. He looks crushed. This feels awful.

My defense is that my intent was good. I did not try to cheat him; I built something for us both. This was a calculated risk; outcomes aren't always immediate. If it succeeded, I would receive praise now. Liquidating now destroys everything, including any chance to repay the money. So, AITA?