Controversial 'Ghosting' Stories That Split The Internet

From Redditor u/BlahBlahRandomnesss:

I went out with Missy, and we clicked. We had an awesome time on our first four dates. Missy planned sushi for my birthday since she had never tried it. I texted her before leaving, and she said, “I'll meet you there soon.” I sat there alone eating on my birthday.

Missy became good friends with my buddy's girlfriend (unknown to me). I met her at her birthday party at the bar. She tried to hug me. I sidestepped her and walked past without acknowledging her all night. I told my friend what she did and asked him to keep her away from me.

Her and my buddy's girlfriend finally confronted me while drunk. They asked why I acted like an idiot, ignoring Missy, not acknowledging her, and refusing to move seats if she sat down. After five minutes of them insulting me, I stood up. I yelled, "Fuck off and fuck you both, this is the girl who ghosted me after four dates and left me alone on my birthday after saying she'd be here soon!" Then, I left with three friends.

My buddy, his girlfriend Missy, and other friends think I acted irrationally and ruined her birthday party. They want me to apologize to them and Missy. They want me to be friends with Missy because she moves in with them in a few months.

From Redditor u/MrsBunnyPants26:

I have PTSD from twenty years of emotional abuse from my dad. I also have generalized anxiety disorder and an eating disorder.

I met my friend Lucy about ten years ago. We were teachers at the same school. We bonded fast over shared interests. We remained friends for many years; I was even her maid of honor. Four years ago, I met my now-husband, and we went on double dates with him and his wife.

About a year into our relationship, my boyfriend noticed I seemed tense and upset when we planned to see them. I realized he was right and started wondering why. Lucy is one of the nicest people I know.

Lucy constantly triggered me. She refuses to accept no, much like my dad. If I say I cannot get together, she demands to know why. She never accepts the answer and will not let me off the hook until I agree to a future meeting. She made me late many times because I told her I had to go somewhere; she got upset I was leaving.

Lucy offered me food. If I said no thank you, she would force it down my throat. She said, “Just a taste. I know you’ll like it. You know I’m a good cook!” Once, I lied about food allergies just to silence her. Then she demanded to know what reaction I had, etc.

In 'Controversial 'Ghosting' Stories That Split The Internet,' this discusses 'AITA For Ghosting A Friend Who Constantly Ignored My 'No'?'

I lied and hid constantly. I ducked into an employee bathroom at the grocery store so she wouldn't see me. I tried to set boundaries by saying, "Please stop asking me to do _____ with you, I'm not available." I refused to open the door if I told her she couldn't stop by. The calls and invitations stopped, but it took nearly six months.

Almost two years later, I saw her a couple of times around town. We had brief small talk, then I left. I do not think I was rude or mean. Last week, she emailed me saying I hurt her and she wants to know what I did wrong. So am I the a-hole?

From Redditor u/fiennfmt:

I stopped talking to a guy randomly, without telling him why. I ghosted him. He keeps trying to contact me and ask me out. I stopped talking to him because of his social media posts. An hour ago, he posted a meme saying, “Running away from hoes because I want a nice faithful girlfriend.”

Yesterday, he posted a picture saying, “If you friendzone me, then help me f*ck your other friends' bestie.” We are both 23. I think that is immature and gross. He always talks about girls and calls them hoes. Guys like that, you should avoid, right? Am I the a-hole?

From Redditor u/notthrowaway3221:

I met her six months ago. I found her attractive, and we clicked (flirty behavior, her touching me, asking the group who was single). I thought there was something real. Her friends invited me to hang out. They met often (about two to three times a week). For the next couple of weeks, I hung out with the group. During these events, I thought she liked me (we danced, she jumped on my back, I gave her a piggyback ride).

A couple of weeks in, I asked her for a date, and she said no. Her answer surprised me. She said she did not want to lose me as a friend. Then she offered to have dinner with me, but only as friends. I told her I am not naive; I can accept a no. I have been rejected before. If she wants friendship, I can remain friends with her.

She then wanted me to hang out as often as before. Initially, I avoided seeming like a "nice guy" seeking a date, so I stayed with the group. I saw my best friends less than I saw her.
During this period, she remained very flirty. Even my friends commented when she hung out with them.

One time, we planned a group hangout, but everyone canceled, leaving just her and me. She became unhappy when I invited another girl. She said, "No, don't invite her, I just wanted to hang out with you tonight." I thought maybe she didn't know how she felt. I asked a friend about it and learned she liked someone else, so I dropped the subject.

After that, I stopped liking her and saw we did not match up. She and her friend group, though nice, are not the friends I usually hang out with. Our interests differ. I would only join the group if they planned an activity I wanted, not just hang out.

Knowing this, I started avoiding her group when there was conflict or I did not want to join the activity (before, I always hung out with them). She kept texting me daily, but I stopped replying quickly, and then stopped responding entirely. Some of these messages became strange.

I stopped answering those messages. I still get them from her once a week. No one else in the group messages me. So, what is the judgment? Am I an asshole?

From Redditor u/ledtokokl:

Six months ago, I tried to tell my best friend, Danny, about something. I wanted to find a private time to talk face-to-face. Suddenly, he acted strange and distant. Then, he stopped replying to my texts. Being ignored while I texted him hurt. I missed our friendship. I did not know why he was ghosting me after years of closeness.

Six months later, he texted me. He said his ex, Meg, wanted him to pull away because she saw us flirting. I was shocked. I never flirted. I am not into men. Around the time he vanished, I worked up the nerve to tell people I know. I texted him back: "DANNY I'M A LESBIAN. That is what I meant six months ago. I was not flirting, and you ended a friendship over nothing. "

He said Meg misunderstood because she knew I wanted to meet him without her. I agreed. I had something sensitive and scary to say; I wanted one-on-one talks with a few best friends, not him, and someone I met only a few times! He said he was sorry.

I did not want to accept his apology. I planned to find support from friends before telling my family, but he vanished. My family reacted badly. This caused bad months; I had to find a new place to live because things got that bad at home.

I could have used a friend for support. Instead, a close friend ghosted me without explanation, making things much harder.
I told him I don't accept his apologies. He should have told Meg no. He is not ghosting a ten-year best friend for nothing. He did not. He made me feel like he would throw me away for someone he met under a year ago. He only reached out after they broke up.

He was upset I did not forgive him. I feel bad, but I also think he hurt me a lot. I do not feel good about returning to friendship when nothing was wrong. AITA for not accepting his apology?

From Redditor u/ch0d3ster:

I agreed to live with a friend during our last year of college, and our relationship soured. He threw temper tantrums for no reason. He got angry at me and said hurtful things.

This usually happened after he felt embarrassed. For example, at a bar, a girl rejected him; not a big deal. He then started ranting about my lack of redeeming qualities. Another time, he had a huge rant about me being a burden to everyone. Both happened before we moved in and were unprovoked.

I still agreed to live with him despite these outbursts because I doubted I remembered them. I assumed his ego was hurt and he lashed out. This happened because whenever I mentioned what he said a day or two later, he claimed he did not remember. If I pushed, he would say, "Can you blame me?" or, "It's true!!" So, I let it go.

Another issue was his constant spamming on Facebook Messenger. He sent many links to articles, YouTube videos, screenshots, etc. Sometimes, he had outbursts there too. If I brought this up, he said he was joking.

After we started living together, these tantrums happened more often, and I grew annoyed. I hate talking to him because I always feel like I walk on eggshells around him. He keeps messaging me on Facebook and generally being a jerk in chat too. I feel trapped because he will not admit what he does in person. When I mention the online stuff, he says he is joking and not upset, or that "I need to learn to laugh at myself" or, "It stings because it's true."

I tell him I rarely check Facebook. If he needs something, he should text me. He keeps spamming me on Facebook. I feel validated ignoring his messages now. I set a boundary and told him how he can contact me. I also avoid him and spend minimal time in our apartment. I wear headphones more; I act less friendly. Looking back, this feels passive-aggressive.

After a week, he gets fed up and yells at me again. This time, I feel bad. Despite his insults, he seems hurt. I decide to be nice and a doormat until graduation. Then, I stop contact. Would ghosting him this way make me an asshole? AITA?

From Redditor u/wessneijder:

I dated this girl I met online for three weeks. She looks much better than me. We had seven dates. Then I saw something was wrong.

At a bar, I joked about her seeing other guys. She replied, “Yeah, I’m dating around.” I thought that was fine. We did not discuss being official. But something shocked me when she added, “You have to compete for me and show me why I should choose you.”

I had not seen anyone else. That weekend, I scheduled a date with someone else. She messaged me Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, each time saying, “Morning.” On Monday, she stopped. I did not reply any of those times. AITA?

From Redditor u/badatcommunication:

After my ex broke up with me, we were tentative friends for two weeks. She wanted me to “prove I could change” and show I cared. This is not important because it opens other problems. Later, she asked if I wanted to stay friends, and we agreed on what I wanted. I was unsure how to answer first. Our relationship was awful, and I was in that stage where unhealthy relationship parts became clear.

I asked her if she wanted to be friends, genuinely interested. She replied, “Yeah, I like talking to you even though you’re annoying sometimes.” This hurt badly. I am sensitive, but I told her how insecure I am about being annoying many times during our relationship. The thought of annoying anyone is devastating, and she knew that well. So, I told her to think. She said, “Of course, take your time!”

This happened almost five months ago. I think she got the signal. I'm ninety percent sure she does not care, but that is just words. The issue is she expected a reply from me. I did not reply. Am I an asshole?

From Redditor u/TheRealReapz:

A friend told me at a BBQ, “I have a bone to pick with you.” I felt shocked. I like to get along with people, but I wanted to know her problem.

"You don't say goodbye, you just leave," she said. That is true. I prefer to leave a party and let people continue. I leave because if I announce I am leaving, people often ask to stay or ask why I am leaving. Sometimes that makes others think, "Yeah, I might go too," ending the party early. I prefer to disappear.

I explained myself to the friend. She said, “No, it's super rude.” We are Australian, so I told her to go f*ck herself, and we both laughed. After that BBQ, I said goodbye to her directly. Still, I prefer to ghost. My wife dislikes this, but she accepts it now. AITA?

From Redditor u/subartomic:

I am 25M and single. A friend introduced me to this girl (21F). We had six dates in the last two weeks. I enjoyed every date. She seemed happy too. She is an attractive, intelligent nurse who manages her life well. She is also very rational and drama-free, which I found refreshing after my last relationship.

After our sixth date last Friday, she stopped answering my texts. I sent another message today asking, "Hey, if you are going to ghost me, can you give me a heads up?" She quickly replied, apologizing. She said she had picked up night shifts at the hospital, was very tired, and had not checked her phone.

I asked her if she wanted to go out again. She sent a long message saying she is not ready for a relationship now. She said she is stressed at work and cannot handle dating simultaneously. This is the opposite of what she said on our last date. She stated then she was ready for a relationship and looked forward to 'coupley' activities. I called her out, and she did not reply.

I sent another text telling her she was being rude. I told her she should be more mindful of others' time and feelings later. She finally replied, "We were on six dates, what is the big deal?" She then said she did not need this drama right now. AITA for showing my frustration at her for ghosting me?

From Redditor u/citrusislander:

My mother strongly dislikes my 21-year-old boyfriend (38-year-old male). She yells at him when she sees him. She will not give him a chance and tells untrue stories about him. This makes keeping friendly terms with her hard because every time we spend time together, she brings him up.

Most bad things she claims to know about him are lies. She won't show any proof or tell me where she heard them. She is an emotional weight, and I know she loves me, yet I love him too. AITA for planning to ghost my mom forever?

From Redditor u/ghostinga**hole:

I (27M) matched with this woman (40sF) on Tinder. Things went fine. I threw some jokes. She replied, "Tomorrow is my birthday," and hinted at hanging out. I thought, why not? I have nothing going on. She planned a family celebration Friday and wanted a beer Saturday.

Saturday arrived. She texted me the bar's location, asking me to come because she was lonely on her birthday. I showed up. I bought a beer, and she wanted to leave. I should have seen this as a warning sign early. I did not really know her after just one beer. As we entered my car, she said we could not go to her place because her son was home with a date, calling it weird.

She asked me to pay for a hotel, knowing nothing but her name and that she has an adult son (I knew she was older, but she had the MILF situation). This forwardness and having to pay for a hotel room I do not want to cover surprised me.

She changed her mind after I told her I didn't know her. She then wanted to drive thirty minutes to a bar. I got annoyed. She started saying, “It's my birthday!” During the drive, she told me she wants more kids and criticized me for not having any.

I focused only on getting her out of my car fast. I pulled into a gas station. I gave her twenty dollars and said I needed a six-pack later. I said I would pump gas for the trip to the bar and back. I watched her go inside. I did not swipe my card but pretended to pump gas. Once it was safe, I put the pump back. I got into my car and drove off. I unmatched her on Tinder so she could not contact me.

Am I the jerk here? The gas station I left her at was near the bar we left. There are plenty of rideshares in that area too.

From Redditor u/Deluxxey:

I am in college. I started dating a girl through a friend. When we first kissed, we spent most of the day together. We were very close and flirted so much it felt like a real relationship, which I was not comfortable with. As I left her room that night, she leaned in first. I was surprised since I had not known her that long. After we kissed, I told her I wanted to take things slow. She said it was fine. We made out again a day or so later.

Next week, before my birthday, I got a text while my phone was off in class. She knew the class and the building. I checked my phone later and saw her missed messages. She said she would wait outside my classroom building until class ended with cookies she baked me for my birthday. I did not see her waiting outside when I left.

People think that is nice or cute. I felt weird about it. I have been in relationships before. This kind of thing did not happen often, not even in the first week. Then this girl, whom I knew for only a week, texted saying she was waiting outside with cookies she made me, like a promposal.

I texted her, apologizing for not seeing her messages earlier and saying I was busy. She replied that it was okay. Still, the whole thing felt strange. Her behavior made it seem like we were dating. After that event, I mostly stopped talking to her. I did not continue hanging out until the whole thing ended. I saw she tried to keep things going, but the encounter turned me off. Am I an asshole for ghosting her?

From aA former Redditor:

Earlier this year, I met a guy at a gathering at a mutual friend's apartment. We connected and started seeing each other more. Eventually, we reached the dating stage. About a month later, I did not feel it. I deleted his contact information and decided not to meet him again.

He tried messaging me on FB. I blocked him because he kept doing it. I also blocked his number on my phone since he messaged me there too. He was being clingy.

Over two months passed since I left him. Some friends still want me to call or text him for an explanation. I do not feel obligated to explain my choices. Pressuring women into things they are not comfortable with feels dangerous.

So, am I the asshole? I am tired of this stuff appearing in front of me. Ladies, if you are here, you know what I went through and can give clear thoughts.

From Redditor u/Chitownfico:

I met a girl on Tinder. We exchanged numbers, chatted for days, and set a time for drinks at a bar. I got to the bar. I ordered nine or ten shots before she arrived to relax. I tend to say inappropriate things on dates when sober because I get nervous. It was about 7 pm; she arrived around 8:30 in a wheelchair.

I want to be clear: nowhere in the chat, Tinder pictures, or texts implied or stated she was in a wheelchair. I feel catfished, but I was not; she looked just like her pictures, just wheelchair-bound. She was a nice girl; we connected, but I will not string her along. I travel a lot, both in the US and abroad, and our lives will not match.

I realized dating her meant her physical limits would cause resentment about my lifestyle. We watched a Bama game at the bar. I felt awkward after saying something innocent like "Roll Tide," fearing it offended her. That thought stayed with me the whole date.

I told her I had a great time but had to leave for church early. I kissed her but did not suggest meeting again or texting. She texted over the next few days, but I did not reply because I did not want to lead her on. On the last day, she sent a long rant calling me names. I think I avoided a problem. AITA?

From Redditor u/Chick-Fil-A-:

Someone recently confessed feelings for me, but I do not feel the same. I left the conversation and ignored all texts from her and her friends for days.

I ignored them in public because I am an introvert. Telling her face-to-face I did not feel the same way would have been worse than texting.

I feel bad about how I handled this and await your judgment. AITA?

From Redditor u/ChancePassenger:

I knew Casey for eight months. We flirted for two. Rumors say she has felt for me for five to six months. Last Saturday, we went on our first date. We watched a movie, ate dinner, and did the usual. I value honesty. I asked her straight up if she wanted to return to my place and hook up. I laid everything out. I thought I had a deal, since she apparently liked me for months. But she said, “No, not tonight.” Things became awkward.

She said, "She wasn't like that," and said we would see each other on the second date. She confirmed she liked me and wanted things to move forward.
Midway through dinner, I did not reply to her after that. She asked me things and talked, but I only thought about failing. Everyone faces that, but I thought it was simple. I chose good spots this time. I zoned out. When the date finished, I only thought about the money I wasted that day.

We said goodbye. She kissed my cheek. I gave her a limp air hug, then I left. I went home. I have not spoken to her much since. She texts sometimes, asking if I am okay or if I want to go out again. Honestly, I do not feel like replying with more than a thumbs up or a 'k.'

Am I an idiot for ghosting her because she did not want to hook up on the first date? I am not doing this to hurt her. I simply lost interest in her. I do not want to talk to her or go out again. I see no point since I spent money on that first date. I do not want to risk getting nothing again.