20 Times The Internet Called Out A Jerk

From /u/DisastrousTaro0:

My son's tenth birthday is next Saturday. My husband and I planned a party. We prepared invitations two weeks early. I handed them out Friday. We invited every child in his class; the small private school only had fifteen kids to invite. We excluded one child, David.

The school my son attends has a program for special needs kids. They put them in a "normal" class weekly. David is a high-functioning autistic child. I placed him in my son's class to help him socialize and teach other kids not to discriminate against special needs people. I know the parents are trying their best. Past incidents with David exist. Friends told me David had a meltdown at another party he was invited to. Some parents there said he reacted that way because he wanted presents and got upset when told no. Other issues exist; the party is in a loud arcade. So, I decided not to invite David.

After my son passed the invitations, word spread that we left out the special needs child. David's mother called me last night. She confronted me, saying I was awful for excluding her son and teaching my son to discriminate. I mentioned the logistics and the past event. She told me I was an a**hole for assuming what her son can and cannot do before hanging up. This morning, I saw a passive-aggressive post from her, and many other parents side with her.

I just want my son to have a good party. I did not mean any harm. AITA?

From /u/MilkThrowerWay:

My girlfriend and I have seen each other for over a year and a half. We have a good relationship and rarely fight.

This morning was different.

I sought some light fun. I grabbed the six-pint bottle of whole milk from the fridge. I tossed it underhand toward her after she turned around, saying, "think fast." She did not think fast. She put her hands over her face and screamed. The bottle fell. The lid came off. Milk spread everywhere.

We both got upset. She was upset I threw milk. I was upset she was upset because I said, "Think fast," before throwing it. She knows the 'rules' of think fast. I was also upset because she made me clean it up.

This makes me rethink our compatibility. It makes her rethink it too. She has not spoken to me for hours and ignores my messages. She is locked in the bathroom, making no sound.

So AITA?

From /u/wifeindilemma87:

My husband and I, aged 32 and 41, have been together twelve years and married eleven and six months. Our daughter Belle died at age two. After Belle passed, my husband had an affair with a close friend, resulting in a baby girl named Zoe. Zoe's mother, a troubled woman suffering from postpartum depression, took her own life. My husband regretted his actions and worked hard to show he would be loyal starting that day. I forgave him and accepted the baby as mine.

Zoe is six years old and a bright girl. I love her. However, one thing bothers me: Zoe looks like her mother. Looking at her face too long triggers something in me.

After the affair, I struggled with intimacy with my husband. Things improved over the last three years. My husband recently wanted another child; he was desperate for a baby. I secretly took pills, but I became pregnant two months ago on a family trip.

I forgot to take pills one morning and got pregnant. My husband is thrilled. He cried happy tears when I told him about the pregnancy.

Zoe tells her friends she will become a big sister. My in-laws think this baby will heal our wounds. My husband talks to my belly constantly. He shows great affection and love. He gets emotional talking about the baby.

The biggest problem now is my lack of connection to this baby. An ex entered my life after ten years. We reconnected, and our friendship is strong. We often discuss our lives. He was recently cheated on and left, so we share experiences.

Last week, a dream changed things. In the dream, I had just given birth, and my husband held our baby. Looking up, I saw my ex's face. My actual husband and Zoe were not in the dream.

Since seeing the dream, I realize I do not see a future with my husband. I want my own family someday, but I do not want a baby with him.

I consider an abortion, but I cannot tell my husband because it would destroy him. I truly want to end this marriage and start over. I want to see what happens with my ex. Our relationship ended due to distance and bad timing. I believe my ex still has feelings for me, but he never showed them out of respect for my marriage.

AITA for lying to my husband about a miscarriage when I plan to get an abortion? I plan to divorce him next year so he does not know I did not want this baby and hurt him more.

/u/moma**hole

My ex-husband and I share custody of our 10-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son. We use a 2-2-3 schedule. Usually, I have the kids Friday after school, and he gets them Monday after school. I return them Wednesday after school; he takes them Friday after school, and the schedule flips each week. We have used this since our divorce five years ago; it works well. I work as an OR nurse, so I schedule my shifts for the weekdays when the children are with their dad. My one call weekend occurs every six weeks, and those weekends are with their dad.

The kids recently want to try splitting weekends. Instead of both being with one of us, one will go with Dad and one with me. My son said he will stay with me on call weekends because he can stay alone if I get called in or hang out at the hospital until I finish. My ex agrees. He says this lets us spend one-on-one time with the kids and gives them a break from fighting. They squabble sometimes. Some people feel like you disappoint one by trying to please the other, but I do not want to lose my free weekends. I took months to get used to not having the kids constantly after the divorce. Now, my weekends without them include activities or travel. My ex agreed to let me take a weekend trip; he would be fine with both kids that weekend. I do not want to let his schedule control my trips, and sometimes trips happen on a whim.

I discussed this with my family at breakfast. They are appalled by me not wanting to do this. My sister pointed out that if I were still married, I would not have the child-free time I have now. Many mothers do not get a break from their kids like I do. My mom said she cannot believe I would deny my children quality time with their parents for selfish reasons, like not wanting to give up my weekends. My SIL seemed to get my point but said she would still do it. She would just include the child in my activities. She pointed out my daughter would love the NYC shopping trip I planned for December, and my son would happily join my Saturday morning spin classes. I considered that. But my SIL loves taking her kids everywhere. I do not know if she knows how nice it is to just be an adult without child responsibility everywhere. They made me feel like an asshole. AITA?

/u/troy6293

I marry in a few months. Some atheist friends dislike religion. I decided to only invite them to the party. My future wife and our families are Roman Catholic. Catholic ceremonies take time. One hour is pure mass; another half hour is the marriage part. If you aren't a believer, it will be boring. I am Catholic and expect to be bored eighty percent of it. I wanted to save them the hassle.

A friend mentioned I forgot the ceremony time and church on the invitation. I told her she could skip the religious part and just come for the party. She got confused. I explained. She got annoyed. She said she is not heartless and would watch two-thirds to see the marriage in the last third. I tried to explain and fix the issue, but I felt guilty all along.

Was that a bad move?

/u/surrogatechallenge

My husband and I tried for a pregnancy for years. Short story: it seems impossible now. We took time to accept this. Our whole family knows our journey and its meaning. With that, my husband and I asked his sister (Sarah) for a proposal.

Sarah is in her early thirties, unmarried, and opposes having her own children. We thought she might agree to a surrogate pregnancy because she would not raise the child herself. My husband is very close to his family; the surrogacy process staying within his blood felt very important to him. Because of this closeness, we felt it was fine to ask this.

We invited Sarah for dinner and stated our request at the end. We told her we saved money and would pay her as much as a regular surrogate. This hefty fee would let her take time off work if needed. We asked her to help with everything she needed; we had no expectation she must raise the child just by carrying it. We told her why it mattered to us and how much it would mean, asking her to be open to the idea.

Sarah exploded. She said we were both crazy for making that request, extremely selfish, and showed no respect for her lack of interest in kids. She left early. Now, she refuses our calls and even asked my husband's parents to tell us not to contact her until she starts it. My husband's parents feel for us but say we should have considered Sarah's issues. My parents think she acts badly. Most friends support me, but some said the request was rude since everyone knows Sarah hates kids.

This weighs on me. I never expected this result. She blocked us on every platform. Are we really such jerks?

/u/AngryThrowerDude:

Last Saturday, my <23M> band played a gig. My girlfriend, <21F>, turned 21 in November; this was her first chance to see us play outside practice. I play bass and sing. We are a punk metal band. Three bands played, and we went in the middle. My girlfriend and I drove up together, which became a big mistake.

She dislikes my music, yet she was supportive. The crowd was not heavy, but it was heavier than usual for the venue, with about 20-30 people during the first band. She complained about being bored while the first band played and asked why we arrived so early. Supporting other bands while you play is normal. I told her we would stay past the third band, and she was already in a bad mood. The crowd was not rowdy during the first band.

Our time to play arrived, and we set up. About ten more people arrived while we were setting up; most wanted to see the last band, who was more popular than us. Thus, the venue became much more crowded than normal.

We started playing, and she stood in the middle of the floor with her arms crossed, watching us. I thought this was cool at first; she was there supporting us even though she was in a bad mood and did not want to be there. BUT

Our third song is fast and heavy, and the crowd began to circle. She did not grasp what was happening. I waved her to move, and she waved back the Baby Yoda way. The crowd started running into each other and moshing.

Being in this band gives you the ultimate rush. This happened for us for the first time, so everyone got into it. My girlfriend did not know what was happening. Instead of getting out, she started moving around like a ball in a pinball machine. The guys in the pit thought she liked it, so they started hitting her.

She fell into the pit. Another guy tripped over her, landing on her hard. She screamed and cried. Other girls pulled her out of the pit. She bled from her arm and went to the bar. She pointed at her arm while screaming. I could not hear anything.

We play the next song. She storms out. She ubers home and calls me fifteen times in twenty minutes during our thirty-five minute set. I leave the stage to find missed calls and texts.

She was furious. I did not react right away.Stop the song.I saved her from the mosh pit. I did not warn her. I did not think it would happen. Tonight, she canceled our New Year's Eve plans because of the incident. The drummer in my band and some mutual friends told me I am a complete asshole. I do not think I am an asshole.

/u/876gye:

Everyone overreacts, I think. I am twenty-three. Two weekends ago, I got very drunk at a party and suffered alcohol poisoning. I drink a lot in social settings. I spent the rest of the weekend in the hospital recovering. It was one stupid mistake.

Yesterday, I went to my parents' house for dinner. They were all in the living room with someone I never saw before. I asked what happened. My brother told me to sit down. I sat. The man I did not know started talking. He said my family was worried about me and wanted me to go to treatment.

I became upset. I told them everyone was being overly dramatic. I said I saw I made a mistake drinking so much, but this was too much. I stood up and left. My mom followed me with the interventionist. She said they only did this because they loved me.

I said everyone acted crazy. I got in my car and went home. My brother keeps texting me, begging me to change my mind. I have not replied.

Everyone overreacts. Getting that drunk is not normal for me. It happened once, and I regret it. I have a good job and I take care of myself. I do not need rehab or an intervention.

Perhaps I handled the intervention wrong. I might have responded better to make them feel better instead of getting angry.

AITA for walking out?

/u/digbicks845:

On Thursday, I went to a party a friend hosted. It was a regular college party, and I got drunk. Later, I stumbled home trying to get to my room. A housemate helped me to my room and told me to sleep it off, which I planned to do.

Housemates told me this after I blacked out. My roommate was in the room. He said I kept falling off the bed and talking to myself. He called an ambulance. EMTs forced me to the hospital and threatened police action if I refused, so I had no choice.

Waking up at the hospital, the nurse gave me papers. I left after signing. They charged me $1000 for the ambulance. I left my keys and phone inside. No housemates were home. I waited outside for an hour until one returned. I also missed my CAD class.

My roommate called me an ambulance, which made me furious. I stayed at a hospital overnight. I received a $1000 bill. I did not have alcohol poisoning. I only slept at the hospital and left the next morning. The housemate who helped me inside said I was drunk, but I was not that bad. I could sleep it off. The roommate claimed he got scared and did not know they would take me to the hospital. This angered me more because five other people were in the house. His first action was calling the police instead of asking the others.

So AITA?

/u/pumpkinfip:

My dad and his wife eloped and married when I was 14. I learned later my stepbrothers were at the wedding. My father did not invite me because he knew it would cause a fight with my mom.

This incident made my relationship with my dad very cold. I was close to him before. I saw it as a huge insult and never viewed my dad the same. It also changed how I saw my stepbrothers and stepmother.

My dad admitted he messed up and tried fixing our relationship many times; it never worked. I still visited and never disrespected him or his wife. I made it clear I was not part of his family. My father came to my graduation years ago, broke down crying, and apologized. I just could not start caring about him. I told him everything was fine and moved on.

I am getting married in September. I love my fiancé and am happy. My father texted saying he wanted to walk me down the aisle. I want my stepfather to do it instead. I would rather my father not attend the wedding to avoid drama about the walk down the aisle.

Maybe he will finally understand how I felt all those years ago.

AITA?

/u/maybemil:

My son, 24, and his girlfriend, 24, have only been together six months. She is reportedly four months pregnant with his baby. They have been friends since high school. My husband and I have known her for several years too.

She is a nice girl. But she is not the mother I hoped for my first grandchild. She recovered from drug and alcohol addiction. She claims three years clean, but a relapse remains a risk. She only finished high school with a GED. Now, she works as a waitress full-time. Her parents died years ago; she lives mostly on her own.

Our family is doing better. My son joins his father's business, so his salary will be high and keep growing.

Since my son told us about the pregnancy, I keep thinking he might not be the father. I think she chose him because he would offer the best support.

My son wants us to help her with pregnancy costs. I told him we will help only after a paternity test. He reacted strongly, accusing us of disliking her (false) and not wanting the grandparents (also false). He says he loves her, trusts her, and looks forward to meeting his baby. I understand, but I think he is being too idealistic. If he wants our help, we need a paternity test first. If the baby is his, we will welcome her and help her. AITA?

/u/Throwaway36245128

This happened last year. It still comes up in arguments sometimes. I found this Subreddit and checked what people think.

My wife and I have two kids: a 15-year-old girl and an 11-year-old boy. My wife stays home after our second child is born. I (46M) work full-time, earning a six-figure salary. My job is stressful, requires much travel, and usually means sleeping in hotels. I see my family every second weekend, on average. I am happy to work so my family can live well.

Last year, I bought my wife a Roomba for Christmas. My wife usually vacuums, so I thought she would like the gift because it would remove that chore for her.

When she unpacked the present, she became very offended. She showed it immediately, making things awkward because my parents and other family members were there. She argued that 'this is not a gift for her, but for the whole family, since cleaning is everyone's job'.

I work and earn all the family's money. My wife stays home. She should handle the kids and the house. The gift aimed to lighten her load. I wanted a Christmas gift that would cut my work time. Time is precious. The Roomba would buy her time instead of vacuuming.

One year later, this issue still comes up in arguments. Her crying often accompanies it.

So, AITA for this?

From /u/dinnerthrowaway123:

I have been lurking here for a long time. I hope some of you can comment on this frustrating situation with a close friend and his partner.

My wife (29F) and I (29M) host dinner parties a few times yearly since moving to our city. We cook elaborate, multi-course meals. We limit invites to a few close friends because cooking a complex dinner takes all day, and food costs add up. We invite four to six people, depending on availability. This is a tradition in our social group.

Our friend James started dating Sarah about a year and a half ago. When we invited her, we learned Sarah was vegan. I thanked James and told him she could bring her own food. He agreed. They have attended our parties regularly for the past year. Everything was fine until now.

During our last dinner, we saw Sarah was very quiet and looked like she was about to cry. My wife asked what was wrong. Sarah told us not to worry and avoided the question. We did not press.

After the meal, James spoke to us privately. He told us Sarah felt hurt because we did not provide dishes she could eat. She felt we were intentionally excluding her. He said we were rude and inconsiderate by not accommodating her. This angered me, and we had a big fight.

My wife feels bad Sarah was upset. She apologized to her and James a lot. I do not agree we did anything wrong. I like Sarah. I have no issue with her diet. But it is not fair to expect us to change our whole menu or make a separate meal for one person. Much time and effort go into these dinners. No one else has dietary restrictions. AITA?

From /u/Throwforventing:

Hear me out.

The cousin believes in flat Earth. He thinks space does not exist; stars are projected onto a screen.

I want to get him a globe. I think that will be hilarious. My friends all agree it will be hilarious. My husband says it is up to me. I have not asked my in-laws yet. They will probably say no because they avoid causing trouble. Cousin will be angry, but I think it is worth it.

The other in-laws are engineers and science types. This cousin is a conspiracy theorist who listens too much to Alex Jones.

Getting him a globe seems like harmless fun. If that is too much, a friend suggested I get a globe for my husband. I just need to make sure cousin is there when my husband opens it.

AITA?

From /u/girlwtherabbittattoo:

I quit smoking before going home for the holidays. My mom and aunt took me to see the new big box office hit at our local theater. The seats reclined, and they served beer, so I went. Ten minutes remained.the guyNext to me, the guy loudly asked, “ARE YOU VAPING? SERIOUSLY?!”

My [insert name brand small vaping device] was in my hand. I did not realize how automatic the habit had become. I was focused on the movie's end. I told him, “my bad dude, I won’t do it again,” and put it away. He kept saying things like “this is bullshit,” “I don’t know what’s in that thing,” and “my KIDS are here” loudly. So I packed, got up, and told my family, “you guys stay and enjoy the rest of the film.”

A guy followed me out and told a manager he noted our seat numbers and demanded I be arrested. He stood at least six feet tall; I am only 5'7". It felt scary. My mom and the manager came out and told me to leave. I messed up. I asked if my family could stay and finish the movie. The guy kept yelling about his "kids are here" and "I don’t know what’s in that thing." We all left. My mom yelled at me right away. My aunt is furious. Being yelled at by a stranger and my family drained me. I went to the guest room for the rest of the night. This is my last night home. I feel bad about not spending more time with my mom, but I lack mental energy. Am I the jerk?

My daughter is sixteen. Her mom and I are divorced. She has smoked pot several times since she was fourteen. My mom and I have punished her many times for this. Last time we caught her, I started drug testing her. My mom disagrees, but we caught her so many times that I think this testing stops her from smoking.

I needed to reset the house router, which is in her room, so I went in. Under her desk, I found a mushroom cap on black paper. I looked it up; it was a spore print for magic mushrooms. I checked her room again and found an entire aquarium of mushrooms in the back of her closet. I got angry, so I waited for her after school and called the police. They arrested her, booked her, and released her to her mother's custody.

Her mother is angry. She claims I ruined the kid's life for no reason. We tried fixing her drug abuse several times without success; it got worse. She now has a court date and faces the law because she ignores the rules in my house. I doubt she will get more than probation.

My parents are also upset. They say this issue should have stayed at home, which is why I am here. I wonder if I overreacted and want a fair judgment.

/u/christmastimeforever:

The title is clearly bad. Taken out of context, it shows an asshole move, and I agree with that point. I think I was justified in what I said. However, my family calls me an asshole, and I want unbiased opinions.

My family faced some money trouble the last couple of years. We paid the bills, thank goodness, but we lacked extra cash for things I wish I could do with my kids.

My wife and I share a six-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son.

Holidays have been tough these past two years; I cannot lie. Money isn't the main thing, but seeing my daughter compare herself to others who have more and better lives causes real pain.

Still, we tried our best to make the holidays special. Our daughter got many small gifts; wrapping them made the presents under the tree look huge. She was happy; she always has a positive attitude. She is very grateful for gifts, and I am proud of how she handles things. Last year, Santa brought her a bike as the main gift.

My wife has two brothers and a sister. That sister married and has three children with her husband. One child, Sid, is awful. She is a hell raiser type. Sid ruins every family outing or tries to. She speaks rudely to the other kids, talks back, and ignores others.

She is a little older than my daughter but close enough in age that they spend time together a lot.

All three children were at our house the other day. I cooked in the kitchen. My daughter and Sid sat at the dining room table. The talk involved Christmas and what they hoped to get.

Sid constantly brags about last year's gifts. They were expensive and glamorous, making my daughter jealous. My daughter asked, "I wonder why Santa brings you more than me." Sid responded by saying she was better than my daughter; she wasn't good enough for those gifts. I saw my daughter processing this, believing she wasn't good enough next to that spoiled kid. I told Sid in front of my daughter Santa isn't real. Her parents provide the gifts. She must never think material things make her better than anyone.

Sid and my little girl did not know how to react to this news. Explaining everything to my daughter gave me pride in the lesson learned. My wife's sister is angry at me for telling her daughter. She said they talked like normal kids and I ruined something for her. I think she got the wrong message anyway. I would not support her telling her view about my daughter.

AITA?

From /u/WhyAreBoysConfusing:

I am lost on this. I need to know if I am crazy. I started seeing someone casually two months ago. Things are going well; I hope it leads to something serious. While I figure out what I want with this relationship, flatmates pressure me to 'have the talk' and 'establish what we are' just so they can charge him weekly rent.

He comes over after 8 PM. He leaves when I go to work or sleeps in and leaves later. This happens about four times a week. He had three showers over two months; two were with me. We get takeout or I eat, and he eats. I cooked dinner for us only once or twice during this time. He comes, sleeps with me for the night, then leaves in the morning. Few things happen between those times. Considering this, would you ask me to charge him weekly or monthly rent? My flatmates expect him to pay $20 a week to stay. They justify this by saying, “If you leave in the morning and come back in the evening, you are living there.” I find this behavior embarrassing and humiliating. I immediately told the guy I see there is no way I will ask him to pay a weekly rent to visit.

Is this normal behavior? Am I delusional for standing firm on this and saying I'd rather move out than ask him to pay?

Am I the asshole for saying no to this request, which caused a big fight in my home?

Three of us live here. I am single; the other two form a couple. I pay over one-third of the rent. I pay more than $20 extra weekly. I never miss bills or rent. I stay extremely clean. I bring good energy to the house. I fear confrontation most. I avoid it by staying an angel and keeping the peace.

From /u/horrorrorrorr:

I visit my girlfriend’s family for the first time; they are quite wealthy.

They employ a maid who cleans up daily.

My family is not poor, but we have never had people work for us. This made me very uneasy. Who am I to have someone clean around me while I sit there? My mom would get upset.

I got up and helped her tidy. She thanked me and said I did not need to worry. I told her it was no trouble; we were just watching TV.

Later, my girlfriend’s parents told me not to help the maid clean. They said it was a boundary; her work was her work, and guests are guests. I told them having someone clean around me made me uncomfortable. They dismissed it, saying she is paid well and has been there a long time.

The next day, this happened again. It made me uncomfortable, so I told my girlfriend, "Hey, let’s go outside." She was on her laptop. Eventually, I could not help it; I had to get up and help her.

Her parents walked in, looked angry, and my girlfriend finally understood and led me outside.

I remain confused. I do not know if helping her clean was wrong or if not helping her is wrong now.

My instinct is to help, but people get angry if I do. If you understand the situation better than me, please clarify this.

AITA?

From /u/throwawaydogbags:

My daughter turned six. We held her birthday party Saturday. That morning was chaotic. I set up outside. Then my wife appeared, yelling about the grocery store messing up the birthday cake. I did not see it.

They spelled our daughter's name as "Sarah" instead of "Sara." I said, "Who cares, just scrape off the H," but she insisted on changing it. I replied, "Fine, whatever." As she left, she said since I messed up, I should finish the decorations to make it up.

I went into the kitchen and asked my daughter, "What is the most important thing?" She said, "The gift bags." I found all the candy and toys and the bags they were supposed to go into. I made up the bags; my daughter helped, and she thought they looked great and was happy.

My wife took over after I helped with the cake. Guests arrived next. The day went well until my daughter mentioned gift bags. My wife panicked, thinking she forgot them, but she said, "Don't worry, Dad made them," looking relieved until I got the box. She looked inside and was horrified.

"What the f*ck is this?" she whispered. She threw the box back at me and ran to the bedroom. I followed and found her crying on the bed, extremely embarrassed. She wouldn't speak. People left, confused about the situation. I took over saying good-bye and handed the bags to kids at the door, saying bye with my daughter.

Halfway through, my wife returned, took the box from me, brought it to the bedroom, and threw it down. She finally said, "Those are dog poop bags," making me seem stupid and ruining her party work.

They aren't dog poop bags. They are small pink bags with hearts. I told her, "They aren't dirty. They are small bags like any other." She freaked out. She said she is so mortified she won't show her face at school anymore.

I have brought my daughter to school every day this week, making me late for work. My wife barely speaks to me, though my daughter thinks everything was fine. She laughed when I told her they were dog poop bags. My wife got angrier when I told her. I told my wife to calm down; she called me an asshole, mad that I don't see it as a big deal. I still don't. I think she should be mad for letting this last almost a week.

Am I the asshole?