Sickening Bodily Function Stories

From Redditor u/nemotoadsftw:

We dated for a little under a year. Things went pretty well. Things are not great lately, but they are okay.

Gross details follow:

I grew up where talking about bathroom stuff was weird unless you were sick. My girlfriend's family talks more openly. I just started getting comfortable farting around her. I really dislike talking about my toilet habits. I don't see it as her business. We don't live together, but we spend all weekend together and sleep over. I usually avoid pooping when we are together unless I know I can shower later. It feels better for me to go home on Monday and handle it then. She seems to have noticed this. She has made comments lately about my discomfort with my body around her.

This weekend, things got worse. I had stomach problems and stayed on the toilet longer than normal. She seemed worried. After I came out, she asked many questions about what happened. I am not against talking about it entirely, but I found discussing what just happened too much. I told her to stop. She replied, "We must talk about our bodies if we plan to be together." She added that my lack of trust and comfort harmed our relationship.

She suggested an idea I hate. She first wanted us to watch each other poop. I strongly opposed that, so she changed plans. After I go, I must leave it there without flushing and let her look. She has to do the same for me. I feel very uncomfortable with this. Maybe I am too shy, or maybe I am wrong to feel uneasy about natural body functions. But this feels too much and like a privacy violation. I do not want to look at her waste, and I don't see why she needs to look at mine.

Am I wrong to think this is messed up? Or is she right to think I have a problem to fix? Most of all, how do I tell her I see her points, but her ideas make me uncomfortable?

Redditor u/Datinganatheist:

I have dated Kevin for two months. I grew up Christian. I believe in God, but I am not super religious; I attend church about ten times a year. Because of this, I thought I might match with an atheist.

Kevin and I went to my parents' for dinner on Sunday. This was their first time meeting him. I thought things went well. Then my dad started saying grace. I looked down, but I saw Kevin grab his drink and chug it. After he finished chugging—while my dad was still saying grace—Kevin let out a very loud burp. My dad stopped saying grace to look at Kevin. His mouth hung wide open, but he said nothing. Kevin offered no apology, so my dad awkwardly finished the grace.

The dinner felt painfully awkward. No one mentioned what happened, but my parents seemed annoyed with Kevin. They talked about the weather and what he takes in school. After we ate, I made up an excuse to leave and drove Kevin home.

On the drive home, I asked Kevin about his issue and why he acted rude at dinner. At first, he did not seem to know what I meant. I told him it is rude to drink during grace, and burping loudly afterward too. He said he is an atheist, so he does not have to wait for that. I called that ridiculous because he was a guest in my parents' home and should follow their rules. Then he said those rules are nonsense and continued talking about religion being the worst thing. By the time I dropped him off, he was angry and I wanted nothing to do with him.

I have not spoken to him since, and breaking up with him is certain. That is not the reason I am here. One thing he said to me was why I dated an atheist if I expected him to act religious. I did not think not eating or drinking until after grace meant 'acting religious,' but now I question that. I have never dated Kevin before, so I do not know. He claims any self-respecting atheist would act the same way he did. Is that true? Or is he just an idiot? My cousin warned me about dating an atheist, but since I do not take religion seriously, I did not think it would matter. Maybe I was wrong, and we are not a match.

From Redditor u/darovedo:

Every night, our cat (2M) cuddles by my (24F) legs. He stays there most of the night, and I get used to it. The issue hits during this eight-hour cycle when I need to fart. I just let it happen, and our cat doesn't seem bothered. He never leaves the bed right after. My partner (25M) calls this disrespectful; I should stay away from him. But moving my legs means waking the cat. Am I a jerk for farting on our cat?

I might be the idiot because: I am letting out flatulence on our cat's face every night.

From Redditor u/poooooooooooooot:

I fart. A lot. I am a very feminine, small, flatulence monster. Sometimes my farts are just loud air. But if I eat something like a Chipotle burrito, those poor souls in my firing range suffer.

Doctors checked my blood and stool repeatedly. I take cultures and monitor my diet. Nothing is wrong, but I cannot stop the problem much (and George, I love those Chipotle baby bundles). My butt just needs to fart more than the average person.

My boyfriend and I are seriously looking at moving in since our leases end. He knows about my stomach issues. I mostly stop farting around him because I think it's rude to break wind near people. Also, my boyfriend keeps his bowel movements private. I never hear him fart. He insists on bathroom privacy (I don't think he's sick; he just finds it embarrassing). When I spend time with him, I hold it until I can go or get outside (that sweet release is letting loose in the car). Alone at home, I let it rip loud and proud. I can handle my own smell if I eat junk.

This seems silly, but I still feel embarrassed. I do not want to make him uncomfortable. Will he have to live with this? Will I never be able to eat a barbacoa bean and cheese burrito without causing chemical warfare in his presence (my farts can sting my eyes)? Do I need my own private room for flatulence?

From Redditor u/badspews:

My wife is 12 weeks pregnant and struggling with morning sickness. She vomits seven to ten times daily despite taking the same chemo patient medication. This is her second pregnancy; the first one was slightly better regarding sickness (only four to seven spews a day!), but it lasted the full nine months.

She handles this tough situation well. I am thankful for what she endures to bring our children into the world. I take on extra chores, cook more, and handle more childcare to give her a needed break.

Unfortunately, she has a bad vomiting habit. When she needs to, she stands over the toilet, bends slightly, and hits the eject button.

Vomit covered the toilet area with projectile spews. Vomit covered the seat, under the seat, and the floor around the toilet. The toilet she uses most often is in a small room, about 1.5 meters wide, with the toilet in the middle. Both walls are covered in remnants from a violent session. I do not grasp the physics; I just feel disgusted.

I asked her to clean up, but she resists. She is lazy about cleaning and untidy; she generally likes dirty conditions. From my view, this filth is next level and unacceptable, even with her current state, especially since a better method could fix it.

She finds the toilet gross. Having to clean it so often makes it worse. She believes cleaning it is the least she can do, expecting this routine for six months.

From Redditor u/Happy-Way-801:

My new roommate, 35, has uncontrollable, stinky farts daily. We share a small apartment. This happened for two weeks. Today, I asked her to see a doctor about the constant farting. She claims it’s normal bodily function, blaming certain foods or drinks for bad gas. This is extreme; our apartment smells like farts constantly. I cannot handle it. AITA for telling her to see a doctor?

From Redditor u/Frosty_Cow_9597:

My husband, 28M, and I, 23F, married ten months ago. We dated for three years before marriage. We rarely fight, but lately, he farts a lot when I am near his smell, in the car, and mostly in bed. It is disgusting.

Tonight, the smell hits my nose as I get into bed. I tell him to stop, and he blames the dog. Then, even worse. He sits there cuddling the dog, ripping it, and laughs at himself while denying it. After the third one, I yell at him. He acts strange toward me, calling me abusive for always 'blowing up on him.' Then I go downstairs and sit alone on the couch.

What do I do to make him understand how much it bothers me? What do I do tonight? Do I go back to bed or stay on the couch?

From Redditor u/sadielou555:

It sounds silly, but I feel letting out a small toot around someone else is like admitting you are close enough to them to ignore the embarrassing and gross parts. As long as it is not a truly stinky one, that is all.

My boyfriend, 22M, and I, 18F, have six months together. I feel strong chemistry and love. I want a long-term future with him. I cannot picture a future where I leave a room to walk to the bathroom for every small fart. I do not want to just ask, "Hey, can I fart around you?"

He thinks it is weird for me to fart around my family and close friends because of how he was raised. Wanting him to change his standards feels like overstepping his upbringing. Still, I cannot spend my future leaving a room every time I have to fart.

How can I bring this up? Is this a lost cause? Or is asking someone to change their boundaries like that just too much?

From Redditor u/kimcheefarts:

We dated for four months. This is my first serious relationship; I worked and lacked confidence before, so I never dated. Things seem to be going well. People talk about the honeymoon stage; maybe I am just in that phase, but who knows.

About three weeks ago, my girlfriend started eating much kimchi from a Korean grocery store nearby. I like ethnic food and Korean food, but kimchi makes burps and farts smell awful, especially when she eats a lot of it.

She eats it because it helps her gut bacteria. We both take health seriously. I feel she is being selfish telling her not to eat it. I explained I cannot be in the same room if she passed gas in it recently; the kimchi makes the smell strong. She is white and not Korean-raised, so this is not about abandoning a deep cultural thing.

I need outside views on this. I don't know if I am acting terribly or what. I do not want to break up with her, but how do I find a middle ground on this issue?

From Redditor u/Throwawaymousetasche:

I work in an office with a few others. One coworker, a woman in her mid-twenties, seems incompetent and annoying. We had a project, and I was assigned to her team, which she took charge of.

A few days later, she stood at my office entrance, practically questioning me about the work. I just wanted her to leave so I could finish my tasks.

She ignored my hint and moved closer, talking about things that didn't matter. I leaned back in my chair and said, "I've been working on something else," and then I farted. I did not mean for it to be loud; it smelled bad.

Her face showed a shocked look. She stood stunned with a horrified expression before leaving.

She has not bothered me for several days, but she has saidpeople in the officeI pulled her into my office just to fart in front of her. She claims I trapped her. Now other office workers call me names.

From Redditor u/10Jabber-wonky01:

My husband has insomnia. I wake up early, so I go to bed early. For six years, he enters our bed while I already sleep, usually between 12 AM and 3 AM. His medication offers no guarantee of sound sleep any night. We have a guest bed and a comfy couch for separate sleeping if needed.

Last night, he entered the bed at 2 AM. I told him I usually go to bed early, but drinking an energy drink past 5 PM kept me awake until midnight—rare for me. I had only gotten two hours of sleep, a fact he knew. I woke up when he entered and stayed awake because he hiccupped every five seconds. I wish that was an exaggeration. I tried to ignore it, but after twenty minutes, I was at my limit. I became snippy and asked why he entered the room if he knew he would keep me awake. I even offered to make the guest bed for him.

He did not accept my offer or give any reason for coming to bed with loud hiccups. Instead, he snapped he would sleep on the couch and left right away. I stayed in the bed; he went to the couch for the rest of the night.

Should I have gone to the couch instead? Or was I right to make him leave since he chose to come to bed already hiccupping?

Redditor u/Alert-Connection-741:

My wife and I have been married six years (30s M/F couple) since high school. We have been close for a long time; I know her body and habits. She knows them too, obviously more than me, but I sense a change.

On a day warmer than 20C, she sweats around her hairline and upper back. The sweat does not stain her clothes, but it is visible.

She walks two flights of stairs to get to our condo? She is sweating visibly.

She takes a hot, steamy shower? She sweats afterward.

She cooks in the kitchen for an hour? She sweats.

She sleeps in a heavy blanket? She is coated in sweat when we wake up.

I mentioned this to her a few days ago. She says she has not noticed and feels fine. She asked if she smells, and I told her she did not smell but was often visibly wet from sweat lately. I asked if she thinks it relates to her stopping shaving her legs/pits, perhaps holding more heat than usual. She got upset by how I said it and suggested I call her "gross and dirty," which I did not say. I thought we could discuss these things.

Couldn't someone start sweating out of nowhere and be different?

Was I over the line with this?

Description of 'AITA For Breaking Up With My Girlfriend Over Her Constant Farting?' in the list 'Sickening Bodily Function Stories'boiwunder5450:

My ex and I enjoyed a good eight months. Everything seemed fine until a month ago. Then, she accidentally farted in front of me. I laughed it off to make her feel better. Soon, she farted multiple times an hour. She thought it was fine after my first laugh. When I pointed it out, she asked why I thought she farted so much. I said her diet caused it. She laughed but refused to change her diet, then asked the same questions later.

She ate cold cuts, guac by the spoonful, McDonald's, and pizza rolls. She refused diet changes but kept asking me about the issue.

This morning, I got fed up. I told her I needed time alone, but frankly, I could not handle all the farting.

She kept texting me, so I blocked her calls. I feel bad, but it is too much.

From Redditor u/MortGoldman11:

Last night, my girlfriend nudged or groaned every time I started snoring. This happened about five or six times. I ignored the first couple because I knew it could be annoying. Later, I got angry because she was not subtle. She made a pissed-off groan or nudged me again. She kept me awake until she had to go to work. She was grumpy because she barely slept, and I was too. I got up, grabbed my pillow, and said, "Thanks for making sure NO ONE got any sleep!" Then I lay down on the couch. I work the second shift, so I get more sleep before work; she does not have that choice. I feel I overreacted slightly, but she was mean about my snoring, which I cannot control. Thoughts?

From a former Redditor:

I never heard my girlfriend fart around me. I did not notice until she moved in near the end of last year. I gave her time. After a few months, I asked her, "Do you not feel comfortable around me?"

She replied, "Of course I do. Why would you think I don't?"

I said, "Honestly, I know this is weird. This has never been a problem before, and it makes me feel awkward bringing it up, but I have never heard you fart around me, and it bothers me."

She started laughing, but I said, "I am serious. I know you fart. Sometimes you get up and go somewhere else and do it. I just don't know why you cannot do it here. Do you feel like I will judge you or something?"

She teased me, saying, "Oh, I didn't know you had a fart fetish." After some time, she promised to fart around me more often when she saw I was serious. Still, she smiled, showing she did not take me seriously.

Weeks passed. No farts occurred. I brought it up again. She asked me to stop pushing, saying it made her self-conscious and that it would happen soon. She told me I just needed to be patient.

I let it go. A fewFive years together—three years apart, two years together. My mom sided with her, telling me to stop being weird. This bothers me.Months passed. I brought it up again. I told her, "This is my last time bringing it up. Clearly, you aren't comfortable around me. You don't want to fart, fine. I just want you to know I am very hurt by it, but I love you, so I am letting it go."

She said, "Thank you. And don't worry, I will." But she had not farted yet, and I still had not let it go.

We watched Netflix on the couch one day. I thought about it randomly. I forgot the movie, but she stayed engaged, pointing out scenes. I gave her one word: "Yeah," "Wow," "Cool," "Mmm." She stopped the movie and asked what was wrong with me.

I did not want to mention the farting again, so I said, "Nothing." She replied, "Oh my gosh! Are you thinking about the farts again?" Then she called my mom and told on me.

Obviously, my mom sided with her and told me to stop being a weirdo, but my gf and I have been together for five years (three years living separately and two years living together) and I'm genuinely bothered by this.

I don't want this to become a huge issue, but it's too late now. If my girlfriend isn't comfortable farting around me after five years, maybe we shouldn't be together.

From Redditor u/njc00:

My husband (49M) and I (42F) own a home and host friends and family. I feel disgusted by other people's poop. The idea of someone other than me or my husband defecating in my house fills me with disgust, dread, and anxiety. Therefore, my house rule is guests cannot poop in my toilet. I make this clear to all guests. They can pee in the bathroom, but that's it. If they need to go, I ask them to go somewhere else. I made this policy clear before; it has never been an issue. My husband disagrees and thinks I am ridiculous, but he does not argue with me.

This past weekend, my husband and I hosted friends: Courtney (40F) and Mike (41M). Court and Mike stayed overnight after we drank too much and crashed on our couch. Court and Mike know this rule; they have visited our house many times. Thus, when I woke up, I found evidence that someone recently soiled the downstairs bathroom. A lingering stench mixed with Febreze and marks were in the toilet bowl. Discovering this caused immediate panic. I felt deep upset and hurt by the disrespect from my guests (it was not my husband, who uses the upstairs bathroom).

I walked to the living room and confronted the guests. Mike asked what happened. I told them I had just been in the bathroom for a tissue; it smelled bad and the toilet was messed up. I told them I had one rule: if they act like pigs, they cannot stay. Mike looked confused. Court admitted she really needed to use the bathroom and thought I would not get out of bed. She became embarrassed, and her face turned red. Though she apologized, I admit I was harsh. I told her her actions were disgusting, unsanitary, and disrespectful to my boundaries by spreading germs in my bathroom. Court became defensive, called me 'insane,' and we argued before she and Mike left. They left my house crying.

My husband got irritated and said I was unfair to Courtney, demanding I apologize and stop enforcing this rule. I told him my reaction was fair because she disrespected my boundaries. She could have easily driven five minutes to a public restroom but chose not to.

We have not heard from Courtney and Mike since.

AITA for not letting guests poop at my house and calling someone out?