Breakups: Stories That Make You Want To Stay Single

FromA Redditor:

Friday, my boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) went to a themed dinner party hosted by a mutual friend. We had fun; the night passed without issues. I spent most time with my female friends; my boyfriend hung out with his buddies.

Later, I went outside to talk to someone and then returned to find my boyfriend, whom I hadn't seen in a while.

I walked past the guest room and heard my boyfriend talking to his best friend. They sounded like they were talking about me, so I stopped and listened out of curiosity. (Whether you debate the ethics of that is up to you).

They have been friends since childhood, so they talk openly. (I started dating my boyfriend last year and have known his friend for the same time).

His friend told my boyfriend he is lucky to have me and that I am a catch. He said I have many admirable qualities and jokingly asked my boyfriend how he got me.

My boyfriend said seriously that he is the catch in the relationship and that I always try to please him. He said "With pretty girls, you must check if they are insecure. If they are confident, it will not work.” Then he explained I do not see how "objectively attractive" I am because of my "raging insecurities about every little detail".

I was speechless and deeply shocked. His friend went quiet and then said "that’s f*cked up". My boyfriend laughed and kept saying they both know it’s true and to stop virtue signaling.

At the end, his friend said if I am insecure, I hide it well because he sees me as confident and assertive. My boyfriend laughed and said "nah bro she’s so insecure it’s crazy". Then he said sex with insecure "hot chicks" is the best because they will do anything to please you.

I did not knock on the door. I did not walk in.

We went home later, and I did not bring it up. I broke up with him via text the next day. I explained my reason for that decision.

Now, my friends think I am crazy for ending things so fast. They all said I hit him with a breakup out of nowhere and did not give him a chance to explain or give context. I said his words broke my heart, and no context can fix this.

The only people who do not think I am an asshole are my closest female friend and his best friend. They both feel bad for me and said I did the right thing.

Am I the asshole for what I did, or is it justified?

From Redditor u/throwankfofo:

My ex-boyfriend (23M) of two years suddenly texted me (23F) a couple of weeks ago saying he was unhappy. I tried calling him; he said he would call back later. I called again, but he ignored me and just texted "I’m done."

For a couple of days, I still did not know if he wanted to talk, and I kept trying to call or text him, but he ignored me.

He sent a text saying his unhappiness meant he was breaking up with me, and he thought that was clear.

I saw him yesterday. We wanted to be friends. I talked about my future plans, including moving states and traveling. He got upset and cried. He asked if I would leave him like that. I thought, 'He left me? Why is he mad I am moving on?'

Then he said he still loved me and wanted to be with me. When he sent that text, I should have driven to him and begged him back. I should have done everything he texted about being unhappy. I did not know that because he would not answer my calls or texts. I guess that was part of the game.

AITA for not begging my boyfriend to still date me after he broke up with me?

From Redditor u/anaonthrowaway:

My sister Teri started dating Tom two years ago. Everything was fine until last week.

Tom told Teri on a few dates he is a father to a boy and a girl. He has custody every three days weekend and during holidays. Teri seemed okay with this; she follows many child-free pages.

Last week, I learned they want to move in together. Tom needed two bedrooms so the kids would have a room. I thought Teri would accept this. She does not.

She complained a few days ago that she hated the kids having to tag along. She hoped he would lose custody so they could have more one-on-one time. I asked if she was joking. She said no. Why would I want f**king crotch goblins living with me? I asked if it was a joke again. She said no. So I asked why she moves in with someone who has kids. Her answer was, he is hot.

I told her she should break up with him if she hates the kids so much. They are a package deal. She got angry at me and left.

I then got a message from her. She sent a photo of weed with the caption, custody no more. (He has monthly drug tests)

I called him right away. I told him and gave proof with the photo.

Teri is now single and furious at me. My mom sided with her. Now I regret that.

AITA?

From Redditor u/MyGFSexist:

My girlfriend Stacy (26f) and I (19m) attend the same college. She worked before her degree and we share similar majors. She grew up in the deep south and moved here with her mom and sisters at sixteen. Her beliefs were moderate, so there was no issue until recently.

About 3 weeks ago, I was taking the metal stairs down from my apartment with my girlfriend and some friends, and slipped as they were slick. I fell down and broke my leg. I had never had a major medical issue before, and it was the worst pain I had ever experienced. As I was screaming and crying in pain, my friend called 911, and I was taken to the hospital.

I fractured the bone (somehow) when I fell, and was in the hospital for 2 days. Stacy left the first night, and didn't come back. When I was released, I asked her to live with me for a few days to help me out. She reluctantly agreed, and she seemed distant through that first week. the next Sunday, Stacy sat me down and said she wanted to break up with me. I was devastated, and asked her why. She said she couldn't get the image of me crying on the stairs out of her head, and she didn't see me as a "real man" anymore. For context, I am 6'2, I go to the gym, and I play lacrosse for my local adult team. Again, i was devastated and begged her to stay. She said this is exactly why she was leaving me, and she Thought I was "Stronger then this." I was destroyed, and didn't do anything for a week, while I recovered from my leg and the breakup. (doctor said rest for 2 weeks)

By the end of the week, I got texts from my friends saying how sorry they were that me and Stacy didn't work out, and that they hoped I had made the right choice. I was confused, and my friends told me that Stacy had said that we both decided to break up because we wanted different things. I corrected them and told them exactly why she broke up with me. Apparently that news spread through our friend group and everyone is pissed with her. She texted me to say that I'm an a**hole and that I ruined her life and why couldn't I just go along with it?

Some of her friends also called me an a**hole, and now I don't know who's in the right.

So, AITA?

From Redditor u/thaigoodlife:

I had a first date scheduled with a woman I met on a dating site. We agreed to meet for coffee at 2pm. I arrived on time. At 2:10, she texted me and asked if I was at the cafe. I said yes, and she said she was at home but would leave soon and be there in 20 minutes. Basically, her text implied she was waiting to make sure I was there before she bothered to leave home. I was put off. I took the risk she wouldn't show and came on time. She should have to. Am I wrong?

I finished my coffee and left at 2:30. She still wasn't there. At 2:45, I get a text from her wanting to know where I was. I said, " I finished my coffee and left at 2:30 when you still wasn't there as promised." She sent a series of nasty texts telling me how awful I was and how I did everything wrong. I should have texted her and told her I was leaving etc.

AITAH? Do women really expect men to sit and wait 45 minutes for them to arrive late- when the only reason they are late is to make you wait? It sure seemed like it was a game or sh*t test. Either way she failed my tests.

From Redditor u/ThenPhotograph:

My girlfriend and I grew up as friends, then became high school and college sweethearts. We are both twenty now, dating since we were fourteen. We commute to the same state college, so we still live at home. Our parents are married, so we share the same house.

This involves my mom and her dad. They divorced when they met; imagine the rest. In high school, we begged them not to date for this reason. Weirdly, they were fine with my girlfriend and me dating while they were just dating. That changed fast after they married last year and moved in together.

I hate this situation. I know we are fine, but my mom nagging me to "go tell your sister x" gets under my skin. My real dad thinks it is funny; he thinks, "What did you expect from the crazy b*tch?" I see him rarely. Moving in with him, especially with drugs, is not an option. My girlfriend's birth mother has never been involved in her life; that is not an option. We cannot afford a place until we graduate.

This living situation drives us crazy. We plan to endure it until we graduate, get jobs, and find our own place or a place with roommates. Our parents focus on breaking us up. They call us brother and sister constantly, lecturing us about how disgusting it is. They ask if we are embarrassed that friends know. They claim it is not anyone's fault they married first and this is how it must be. I love this girl and have spent my life with her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I cannot handle breaking up when we are fine and this strange outside situation tries to separate us.weare fine and this bizarre outside circumstance tries to drive a wedge between us.

AITA? Are we all bad? Is it wrong to date your "stepsister" who you live with?

FromA Redditor:

I (19F) told my brother's (26M) girlfriend (26F) about his dating history. This caused her to end the relationship. I will call my brother Parker and his ex-girlfriend Julie so I do not confuse anyone.

My brother and I grew up with a single dad (my mom died when I was young). Simply put, Dad is a huge sexist pig, and I wanted to leave the family home at eighteen. I clearly remember him always shared misogynistic views about women, and my brother believed them. The dad's most common nonsense was that men can sleep around, but women cannot. Parker thinks the same. During his university years, he dated and ended relationships with many women. He treated them badly, purposely led them on, and then broke up with them. He boasted about this to us.

Parker met Julie six months ago at a night out. Recently, I knew little about her because I avoid talking to my brother and dad. At a family function, Parker acted totally different around Julie. He seemed like an angel. You would not believe he is a sexist pig like my dad. Parker acts like a gentleman. He believes he is the 'nice guy.' He is basically the ideal boyfriend.

Last week, I overheard Parker and dad talking about Julie. Parker boasted Julie is a virgin. He openly discussed their sex life and other activities. Julie wants to wait until she feels in a committed, meaningful relationship. Dad commented, 'No man wants land that’s been conquered by other men.' They laughed about it.

I met Julie again this weekend. We talked about life and my university studies. I live on campus. We connected because I saw she attended the same university. We discussed my brother. She said, 'Wow, I got really lucky with him, didn’t I?' I laughed awkwardly. She then said, 'I’m surprised I’m his first girlfriend; he must have dated others.' I felt she asked this because she doubts my brother. I told her the honest truth about all the girls he dated and how badly he treated them. She did not react much and just thanked me.

The next day, I learned she broke up with him. She blocked him everywhere. He cannot reach her at all. Parker asked me what I told her when he saw her talking to me. I told her the truth about his past. He called me every insult imaginable. Dad agreed with him. Suddenly, my whole family turned against me. They insulted me. They said it is not my business to get involved in someone else’s relationship. This shocked me. Summer break is over. My studies are done. I stay with family now. They are pressuring me to apologize to Parker and admit I am the a**hole.

Did I go too far? Did I step out of place?

From A Redditor:

I am a 21-year-old woman studying Graphic Design. I dreamed of getting a good laptop for university for a long time. My ex knew this. For Christmas, he gave me a desktop computer instead. I have little money. I gave him 150€ to help buy the laptop, expecting him to pay for the rest. When I got the computer, I cried.

I ended things because he never took me or my wishes seriously. He got me a desktop when I wanted a laptop. He refused my sushi idea for over a year until we finally tried it. He ignored me every night in bed, glued to his phone, dismissing my need for attention or cuddling by citing a long day.

Our sex life mirrors this. It stays quick, lacking foreplay and any after-care. I seek affection from him, but he does not return it. I initiate contact; he doesn't. I told him my feelings repeatedly. He brushed them off, saying, "Everything's fine. We love each other, it doesn't have to be perfect." I thought my wants were just a burden to him.

I once cried after sex because he immediately looked at his phone. I told him I felt unimportant. He casually replied I was important and that during sex, I had all his focus. This feels like gaslighting, but I felt insecure. Perhaps I want too much; I don't know.

Christmas arrived. I got the computer. This was the final straw. We discussed my need for a laptop for university often. I offered to buy it and get credit. He insisted I wait for Christmas to gift me 'something very cool.' He gave me something totally different. This confirmed I felt undervalued. I cried first. Then, I stayed silent for about five minutes. He asked many times, 'What is it? Is something wrong?' I told him to leave my apartment. He called several times. I texted him that our relationship ended. I will not explain. I cannot. I do not want to give him another chance to say, 'Oh, no, you misunderstood everything, blah blah.'

After the breakup, I told my sister everything. Instead of support, she made me feel guilty. She said things like, "How can you break up with someone over a gift?" and "You're really ungrateful." Her words make me doubt myself.

AITA for breaking up with him over this?

From Redditor u/Western-Echidna-5626:

I am a 24M, and my girlfriend is a 24F. We have been dating for four years.

Two weeks ago, on my girlfriend's 24th birthday, I booked a table at a nice restaurant for my girlfriend and four of her friends.

I want to state clearly: I earn much more than my girlfriend. I pay all the rent and utilities for our apartment. She covers household costs like groceries.

At the restaurant, I saw how she and her friends ordered the most expensive menu items. I thought I would only cover my own and my girlfriend's bill, so I did not worry much.

The bill arrived. The waiter asked if I wanted to split it. I said yes. I told the waiter my girlfriend and I would cover our food. Her friends should pay for theirs. The total came to about 1100 Euros.

The smiles vanished when I said that. I paid for my girlfriend's and my food. Her friends paid for theirs.

The car ride home felt dead silent. I asked my girlfriend if something was wrong. She just said she was tired. She wasn't just tired.

My girlfriend gave me the silent treatment for a week. I kept asking if something was wrong. She never said what the problem was. The thought of not paying, of being the one at fault, bothered me. I told myself my girlfriend wouldn't expect me to pay for everyone.

Last Monday, I lost it. I demanded an answer. She told me I embarrassed her in front of her friends by not paying. I asked why I had to pay. She said I organized everything and I was "THE MAN," so I owed everyone.

We argued hard. I stayed at my parents' house for a couple of days to think. I came home last Friday. Her attitude toward me stayed the same.

When I confronted her again, she told me to send the money her friends paid. Then she would talk. We argued again. I broke up with her right then. I told her to pack her things.

As I left, she called me a "broke boy." She wished me luck finding another girlfriend with my "brokey mentality."

I almost immediately regretted dumping her for something small.

She sent an apology yesterday for calling me those names. She insisted I pay back her friends if we were to fix things.

I have been a mess since. I do not want to throw away four years with someone I thought was the mother of my kids.

I could have warned her friends I would not cover for them. That is my fault. Her actions over the last two weeks also worried me.

But I love her too much. I do not want this to end our relationship. I will swallow my pride, send the money to her friends, and forget everything.

Am I the asshole?

Did I overreact?

Should I apologize or send the money to her friends?

From Redditor u/Minute-Layer-4412:

My son (M20) has been dating his girlfriend, Lily (F20), for about three years.

I love my son, but he is not a good person. He lacks work ethic, shows no desire for a job or college, and spends time gaming or partying. Lily, however, is the opposite. She studies hard, wants to be a doctor, swims well, and attends college.

My son and Lily matched well when they first started dating in high school. We liked having Lily over, and my son took better care of himself then. Now, things have worsened fast. My son still loves Lily, but he doesn't give her the attention she needs. Given her potential, she deserves better.

Lily looked upset when she visited recently. I asked her if she was okay; she said she didn't know what to do and wondered why my son lacked ambition and was lazy. I told her I did not see change soon, especially since this has gone on nearly two years. When she asked what I would do, I told her to focus on herself and what she wants. Lily thanked me and said she would think.

Today, my son came downstairs angry, telling me Lily broke up with him via text. I asked what she wrote; the message mentioned "discussions with your mom" that made her rethink things. My son was furious I got involved and said I crossed a line. I told him I did not tell Lily to leave him; I only said she must make her own choices and decide what is best for her.

My son now avoids talking to me. My husband is annoyed, thinking not having Lily will make my son's slump last longer. I miss having Lily around too.

So, AITA?

From Redditor u/FullDoughnut977:

Before this breakup, my boyfriend (m26) and I (f21) were together for almost a year. This hurt me deeply, but what he said was truly disgusting.

Also relevant, I am a triplet. I have two identical sisters; we look different as we grow up, but we are triplets. Our different styles help, and one sister recently got a very short haircut. Still, we look very similar. I bet you see where this is going.

My boyfriend, my sisters, and some of his friends were drinking recently. This was my sisters' first time meeting these friends, and people asked about the triplet situation, as always. We talked to two of them. They asked a common question, so we all said "no" at once. Everyone laughed, but one friend said, "Whoa, whoa, don’t do that, it’s making the fantasy worse."

My sister, who speaks up, asked what I said. A friend then explained having sex with twins or triplets. This happens, but it is always gross. I rolled my eyes and stopped talking to him.

That night, I went home with my boyfriend and asked if he heard what his friend said. He confirmed he heard it; he messed up by saying that. I told him I knew it was gross that people think that. My boyfriend just said, “Wellllll.”

I asked, ‘Ew, don’t tell me you’ve seen that?’ He replied, ‘Seen it? I think about it. He wasn’t wrong.’

I asked, ‘Are you seriously saying you think about having sex with my sisters?’ My boyfriend responded, ‘No, no, not.’Just.Your sisters. But like, all of you—yeah—that would be kinda trippy. Those are his exact words.

I felt so grossed out I got up and left. My boyfriend tried to fix it, saying he only thought that.I broke up with him. I feel horrible and I miss him, but AITA?I am pretty, but nothing could make it better. I broke up with him.

From Redditor u/Pure_Currency5627:

I have been friends with Miranda for a couple of years. We met at work. She earns more than me because she holds a senior position at our company.

We shared an unspoken connection. We both liked each other—we made eye contact, looked for reasons to walk to each other's desks, and joked a lot. We never flirted since we were both in relationships, but a spark existed.

We both became single in the last six months, and feelings for each other were clear. I asked her out on a date about a month ago; she looked excited and said yes.

We went to a restaurant that wasn't expensive. I paid since I asked her out, but I saw she didn't even offer to pay for herself. We went to my place and hooked up; it was great.

Things have been awesome since then. We have hours-long phone calls, and she visits after work a couple of times a week. I feel like I am in high school again because we are having so much fun in this early phase.

The only problem is that we go out for dinner, drinks, movies, and mini golf. She has never offered to pay for herself. Many of those things were her ideas, and it makes me grossed out when a woman won't carry her own weight.

Yesterday, we got Thai food. When the bill arrived, I asked her to split it since I needed to spend a couple thousand dollars on my car this week (I could afford the bill; I was just testing her). She asked why we went out to eat if I couldn't pay. I was shocked and asked if I always have to pay for everything we do. She said I was the man and expected me to treat her like a lady. I felt disgusted. I got up, paid for my food, and left her.

The restaurant is a five-minute walk from my apartment. She left her car there. When she walked back for it, she knocked on my door. I ignored her. She called and texted several times after that. I told her I am not a meal ticket and I do not want to see her anymore.

She calls me an asshole. She says I am not a real man if it bothers me. She says I put her in danger by making her walk back alone, even though it was dark and I live in a safe area. I told a friend. He said I overreacted. I can pay for dates, but the principle matters. I feel like I would be seen as a resource to her, not a partner.

From Redditor u/Proper-Honeydew-6189:

My girlfriend and I are 23. We just graduated college. We have been together since we were 14. I proposed to her at 20. She said she was not ready and wanted to focus on school. I proposed again yesterday. She said she was not ready and wanted to build her career. I decided to end it. We have been together for nine years. She still does not want to marry me. She thinks her career matters more than me. I will not wait for her.

From Redditor u/throwhonesty67:

My older brother (M26), age 17, died three weeks ago in a car crash. This was devastating for the whole family. He kept low contact due to small arguments. His girlfriend was the most affected. She did not eat or shower for a whole week. My parents took her in last week because she could not afford the rent for the apartment she shared with my brother.

Before my brother died, I think this happened about a month ago. He told me about his problems with his girlfriend and said he planned to break up with her in January. I thought that was too much for her, as she usually tried to fix things, but my brother had issues.

Seeing his girlfriend lose weight from depression and hearing her cry many times daily, I told her what my brother planned. I shared what he told me, but she reacted badly. She broke down crying and screamed at me. My parents rushed in, asking what happened. I told them after my brother's girlfriend went upstairs. My parents scolded me, saying I should never have told her, given how sad and struggling she was. I explained I felt bad for her and hiding this truth was unfair. They told me I had no right; this timing was wrong. They also said I worsened things and damaged my brother's memory for her, confusing her more. I faced harsh punishment. However, my friends agreed I did the right thing. My brother's girlfriend's situation is tragic; she needed this information, and I acted right and considered by giving it to her.

I think I told her because I felt guilty hiding the truth, but I might be the asshole for what I did.