People Confess Darkest Secrets Anonymously

From Redditor u/PoliteBrick2002:

At fourteen, I really wanted a day off school. My dad, a high school teacher, would still make me go even if I had liquid on me. So, I put on my bicycle helmet, left my bike by the front door, and sat on the floor in my room. I called Dad and told him I was hit by a car on my bike going to school. I did not know how serious a car hit felt, so my parents panicked. I was just happy to get the day off.

The doctors made me explain how my head felt. I made up stories about soreness. The doctor confirmed I had a bad concussion and needed two weeks out of school for appointments. My parents would have spent much money on medical bills. I realized I messed up fast. I could not tell them the truth, so I continued and enjoyed my two weeks off. We were not rich, so I always felt bad but could not tell them even seven years later.

From Redditor u/tynolll:

Some time ago, I worked at Manor House helping at parties, like weddings and birthdays. The owner cooked all the food alone. After one party, I washed dishes before going home late. The woman asked me to come in the next morning to clean up the mess after the party. She needed a clean table for breakfast. I agreed; it was easy money. The next day, I thought pouring all the leftover drinks onto a jug with yesterday's borscht would be faster. One full jug is easier to carry than many glasses.

Before leaving, I saw the owner pour 'borscht' back into a pot to heat it for breakfast. I felt sick but was too scared to tell her the truth. Before I walked out, I saw her serve soup mixed with vodka and cola to the guests. I never told anyone. I also never got a call from her again.

From a Redditor:

In third grade, every kid in my class built a bug diorama of their choice.

I chose a praying mantis. This other kid also picked a praying mantis. My diorama was bad because I left it until the last minute. His was amazing. The teacher mixed up whose project was whose because neither of us named ours.Picked praying mantis. My diorama was terrible because I left it until the last minute. His was amazing. The teacher mixed up whose project was whose because neither of us named ours.

I got a 92%; the other kid got a 46%. The kid accepted his score in tears, but I knew I had made a mistake. I never admitted it.

Sorry Bailey.

From Redditor u/Ieatcrunchybees:

I became really good at shoplifting. I took $2,000 worth of goods in my bag and walked to the exit. I smiled at the cashier. I only took things from rich corporations, which I told myself was fine. I stole groceries and necessities, but luxury items gave me a thrill. I was a kleptomaniac; I am not proud of it.

I did this for years without getting caught. After a huge haul, I quit because I thought I would get caught soon. I have not stolen anything in years.

I miss the shoplifting subreddit a lot.

Redditor u/CamoMeatball:

In 8th grade, I moved to a new school. I got invited to a party at a popular girl's house. She had an outdoor pool.

While everyone left the pool to eat, I stepped against the wall and felt my foot go through the liner. I got out. One girl and her boyfriend were still in the pool behind me; they left soon after I did.

We watched the girl open presents and eat. Then we went outside and saw the entire yard flooded. I knew what happened right away, but everyone thought the girl who left after me did it. Those two hated each other for the rest of school.

Redditor u/beardedgamerdad:

We have a vending machine at work. It looks like a big refrigerator with clear doors. You can buy snacks, drinks, candy, sandwiches, or prepackaged lunches. A coworker named A**hat, known for being difficult, bought items. I spoke to a coworker then. When A**hat left and returned to his office, I heard the vending machine complain the door was not closed right.

I cleaned out that machine because I did what any sane person would do to a jerk.

I racked up a bill so high he still complains about it today. The total bill was near €250.

I bought energy drinks, lunches, sandwiches, and candy. I gave these to my work team, saying they came from an unknown donor.

Redditor u/skarekrowe35:

As a kid, my parents sent me to Catholic school. For confirmation, we had to write a good deed. I put the biggest container of waste I could think of down. I said I cleared a drainage ditch in our neighborhood blocked by ice/snow after a big snowstorm. The melting snow caused flooding because the ditch was blocked, and water rose close to some houses. I told people an old man came out and said, “God bless me” for my work.

The priest read some stories or deeds during mass the next week. Mine was chosen, and people approached me, saying how proud they were and that I was a true follower of God… or something similar. My mom and dad took me for an ice cream sundae after mass.

I thought my parents thought I was lying and took me for ice cream just for fun.

From Redditor u/LordCephious:

I learned to pick locks as a teenager. My dad's bench grinder made my pick set in the barn. I tested it on our house locks. Then, I used that skill at night on a vacation home belonging to a wealthy business owner in my city. The owner entertained in a clubhouse separate from the main house. I thought it lacked a security system.

After trying a long time, the lock would not move. Frustrated, I smashed a rock through a glass panel in the door. I reached through and unlocked it. The clubhouse held little value except for a large rear projection TV.

I could not carry the TV back to my parents' house alone. I ran home, got my van, and drove to their property. I backed the van up to the clubhouse and loaded the large TV into the back. I kept it at a friend's house and used it for a year or two after moving out.

I do not support theft. However, the model was old. They could easily buy a new one.

I ran a return scam on Walmart with a friend during the summer. We found cash receipts in Walmart parking lots. We took those receipts into Walmart and loaded items from the receipts into a cart. We walked to customer service without taking anything from the store and 'returning' it for cash. Walmart changed its return policy and set limits. Do not try this. You need a driver's license for any return now, and they will catch you.

From Redditor u/rpturn3r:

At eight or nine, I did not want to go to school one day. I got a red biro pen. I drew marks all over my body. Placing the pen against my skin and twisting it left a red dot surrounded by a circular indentation caused by the pen casing.

After about a hundred red dots, I used my poor voice to fake an illness and plead with my mother.

She panicked and took me to the hospital. Doctors were confused and ordered tests. I was in deep trouble; I had to keep the lie going. I stayed overnight. The marks eventually rubbed off and disappeared. I was sent home.

I am 41 now. My mother still thinks I survived a rare, mysterious illness.

From Redditor u/Witty_Chicken_9307:

My ex-fiancé left his wallet in my room after the breakup. I took it. He needed a new driver’s license and new credit cards. We still lived together. I listened to his complaints about reordering everything. He had to drive to another state for his license. Five years later, I found it in my desk at work. I don't know what to do with it.

From a Redditor:

I planned a summer trip. A job call came back. I got hired. A month later, I told them my great aunt was sick and needed surgery. I had to go care for her because she had no other family to help. I left for a six-week road trip. I spent one week with her. I returned, and I kept my job.

From Redditor u/StressAsleep9230:

I stole $100 worth of scented pencils, bookmarks, and erasers from the Scholastic Book Fair in fifth grade. I sold them to students for a dollar each.

Pencils cost four dollars. The other two cost $0.50 each.

I made a good profit that year.

From Redditor u/SenHatsumi:

My sister, four years older, drew a Fire Prevention Poster in fourth grade. She won the grand prize in the poster contest. A trophy ceremony happened at the firehouse. The girl who got first place was in my class. She knew I couldn't draw. She said nothing. I feel ashamed.

From Redditor u/VoodooBrother:

In fourth grade, I went to the principal's office. I was accused of urinating on the boys' room floor. I hadn't been in the bathroom that morning. The principal called my parents, who did not believe me over the principal, who was also the church pastor. He asked for permission to paddle me, and they agreed. He hit me hard with the wooden paddle. I had to stay silent.

After leaving the office, I walked into the empty teachers lounge and urinated on the floor. I was never caught.

From Redditor u/Low_Wonder9271:

I was an introvert in college. I lived with strangers in a shared apartment. Friends visited, and I needed the bathroom but did not want to pass them. So, I urinated in a bottle in my room. I hid it in the closet, uncovered, planning to throw it out later.

I forgot about it. Two months later, I hooked up with a guy. As he left, I was drunk and confused. I stumbled near the closet and spilled the entire bottle of urine that had sat uncovered for two months. This happened because I am an introvert, dumb, and forgetful. The smell took five days to go away after I opened the windows. I did not bring anyone, not even friends, into my room for three months afterward. This smell remains the worst I have ever encountered. I did not think it could be this bad.

From Redditor u/CCamba:

A jerk cut me off buying coffee. He used tap pay and left the counter without paying for a tip. The register man turned his back for a second. I secretly clicked 25% for the jerk while no one watched.

From Redditor u/Otherwise_Pattern274:

I wanted a dress for a distant cousin's wedding. Her sister wanted the same dress; she suggested we could twin. I refused. I had the salesman bring another dress and had her wear a different one. Then, I asked the sales staff to make her think my dress looked better. I did the same thing. I let her try other stores but made her anxious, claiming my dress might sell out. She bought it, and I kept that dress.

From Redditor u/popepipoes:

I have a friend nearly thirty. He is not a good-looking guy, but he lacks experience with girls. This is a problem because he is a great person and keeps friendships with some girls. However, he tends to friend zone himself before asking someone out. He suffered severe anxiety and depression and dislikes going out. This year, at my birthday, he came out for one event because he is a great guy and knows it means a lot to me. I asked a few random girls if they could buy my friend a drink and compliment him or have a short talk. They had no obligation beyond being polite and nice. My god, he has changed. His confidence soared. He now asks when we are going out next. If he learned what I did, I believe he would never leave the house again.