15 Stories Of 'Nice Guys' Who Blew It

Posted by u/AndThenThereIsJess:

I finally allowed him to take me on a date to breakfast. Figured midday would be ideal to meet up in public.

I offended him immediately when I spoke to the waitress. I said, 'We have two' when she asked how many we had. He insisted that she was asking him, not me, and I emasculated him in public. I laughed it off as a joke. I grew up with all brothers. Surely, he was trying to be funny.

We sat down. The waitress asked for our order. I gave her mine. He groaned and asked her to come back in a second. He told me proper protocol was for me to discuss what I wanted to eat with him, allow him to make the decision, and he was supposed to relay that to the waitress - not me!

I told him he was crazy and left. Blocked his number. Ghosted completely.

Posted by u/Adepte:

My first boyfriend visibly sulked if I ever opened the door for him, or even opened my own door. When I finally got him to tell me why, it was that he thought I was publicly showing everyone that I was making him my b**ch. If I had any dating experience I would have seen what a huge red flag that was. I ended up losing my summer job because he just started showing up every day and my supervisors thought I was miserable and inviting him.

When I told him I needed space, he left more than 30 messages on my cell and so many voicemails on my digital answering machine that it broke (this is when it was a brand new thing and they couldn't handle much). Then, later that same morning, he showed up at my gynecologist appointment.

Wow, it actually sounds so much worse when I see it written down.

Posted by a Redditor:

He went out bowling with his friends and then when he came home he complained to me that for the first time in his life a hot girl had hit on him while he was out, and he was unlucky enough to actually have a girlfriend. He seemed genuinely sad he had to turn her down, and expected me to be grateful.

Posted by u/milkeymikey:

A girlfriend told me that when she was still new to dating, she gave a nice guy a shot. They were in different states and after weeks of "owing him" a sexy picture or video she agreed to FaceTime him with a wink wink agreement that things might get steamy.

The day comes and this 300lb unwashed dude called her (190lb, 5'6) "nice, but bigger than he liked" and suggested she start working out. He then pushed for an in-person visit near him so that he could show her the wonders of carnal things.

She ghosted him shortly after that.

Posted by u/ChibiSailorMercury:

It was my first experience on OkCupid.

The guy seemed ok on paper, we swapped non nude pictures so none of us would be surprised with the way we looked. We talked on Skype for two weeks because at the time I was in campus town and scrolling OkCupid for my hometown. I told him I would be back home after finals and that it would take 2-3 weeks before we could meet in person

Talking to someone not trying to sexualize me felt good. I don't recall the talks, but meeting him in person seemed fine.

We met. I dressed up; he wore a t-shirt and cargo pants. I bought a latte for us—a coffee date. We sat down. He talked about himself and his job. Then, he stood up, walked behind me, and gave me a shoulder rub while I sat there. I never asked for a massage; why accept one in public?

I got bored, so I suggested a family dinner to leave. He replied, "Uh, too bad, I could have brought you home." I thought, "I told him it wouldn't happen so fast."

I told him on Skype there was no spark and wished him luck on OkCupid. HE EXPLODED. All women want a nice, gentle guy but won't give them a chance. Rom-coms fake sparks; real life doesn't happen instantly. I led him on because we talked weeks, but now I stop pushing. I see how he treats women.

Then he blocked me.

Posted by u/affeineawarnessclub:

He seemed shy but goofy, smart, and genuinely kind when he approached. I agreed to go out; we connected quickly. We had deep talks about personal issues. He met my friends fast, and he called me first after a family emergency. We were both open, but things seemed to improve.

One day, he was on Tinder in bed next to me. When called, he said dating me showed him he needed more confidence and experience with women. He needed to date more different people. He only had sex with others at their houses, so I was clearly his number one. I freaked, cried, and broke things off. He called me the next day to casually ask me out to the new.Hunger Gamesmovie.

I got an STD screening the next week.

Posted by u/kellogg888:

Yeah, it was my first (and last) Tinder date.

I went to the guy's house. I figured it would be safe since he had two roommates.

He lived with these roommates for six months. When I asked their names, he couldn't tell me! First red flag.

I asked, "How? Any sane person tries to learn roommate names. He shared common areas with them."

His house had little furniture. A big TV sat in the living room; there was no seating. He quickly went upstairs, grabbed two child-sized egg chairs, and put them in front of the TV.

The TV played an adult movie, totally inappropriate for a first date. I thought he wanted to get me in the mood? It just made me uncomfortable. The egg chair didn't fit me either.

He asked me to sit on his lap right away. I thought it felt better than the chair.

He went for a kiss. I thought, fine, I'll try to enjoy this. All I felt was his teeth and his lizard tongue hitting my uvula. I actually had to stop myself from gagging.

After that, I waited fifteen minutes before telling him I was leaving. I mostly did this to save his feelings.

After the date, I messaged him saying no second date. I was super nice. He lost it:

- 'He didn't want you anyway!'

- 'Now you show your real colors!'

Then he switched to:

- 'I love you!'

- 'I was going to take you to Greece!'

He swung between two moods. He called me (no reply) every three minutes until I blocked him everywhere.

I deleted Tinder.

Posted by u/lasha890:

I met a guy online. He seemed nice. He pushed to meet up, but I ignored that feeling.

We met up soon after for a quick date; we had coffee and talked. Instant chemistry hit. He has two sons; I have two kids. Both families are open to blended setups. They are goal-oriented, smart, and easy to talk to. We planned another date the next night. He acted like a gentleman. He mentioned we must get the kids together to see if they like each other. I laughed it off. I said, 'Yeah, maybe later, we just met,' and kept the date going.

Two days later, while texting, I casually mentioned I would take my kids for a nature walk and text him when I returned. He showed up with his kids. I do not want to be mean to children, so I acted nice and introduced myself. They were five and seven, very sweet boys. Inside, I was terrified. After we separated, I called him and told him that behavior was not okay at all.

He played the victim and caused pain until I told him I was uncomfortable with his actions. Then he said, 'I'm just trying to love you and your kids,' and 'How can we be together if they don't meet?' and 'You should appreciate a man trying with a woman with two kids.' He acts like he doesn't have two kids himself.

He sent angry messages for about a week. I never replied, and he left.

This all happened in a two-week period. From start to finish.

Posted by u/Lrad5007:

The tantrums continued during the relationship. He was very controlling. If I went out with friends, he got upset I was having fun without him. He cheated and dumped me, only to ask me back. He semi-stalked me for a couple of years after. He started an online blog about my daily life and tried to befriend my exes.

Posted by u/WackyNephews:

I was the 'nice guy' who got rejected for a second date. I said the same nonsense any 'nice guy' says when that happens (like all women are the same, they want nice guys, only date jerks, etc.).

She said, “Well, fine, let’s have that second date, but doesn’t it make you feel weird to have to convince someone to date you? Don’t you want someone who wants to be with you?”

Me: ...

I changed everything about dating for me.

Posted by u/MinMaxMarissa:

I had too many times in college. I gave chances to guys in the 'friend zone' because I was stupid and felt sorry for them.

My last straw was when a guy took me shopping. I said 'yes' in lonely desperation on a Friday night; this was a Saturday afternoon.

After every store I entered, he either criticized me for not wanting him to buy me anything (I am not much of a shopper) or asked for sex because he bought me a used videogame I wanted.

Never again. There is a good reason incels are incels.

Posted by u/Crosswired2:

A guy messaged me on Facebook. We went to high school together, but I do not recall ever speaking to him.

He was weird right away. He said how much he enjoyed talking to me (three conversations in and I was short with him), and he was happy he found me. I was short but polite to him.

One night, I said I was cleaning the kitchen and going to bed. He said he would say hi if he saw me. That bothered me. I told him Messenger is not always accurate about whether you are online. He acted like he did not know what I meant. I woke up the next morning to a work Facebook message (I manage the page). I opened it to reply, and he immediately messaged me.

I do not care what people say about ghosting. I ghosted him and had no regrets.

Posted by u/Cupcake489:

I moved from dating someone hyper-masculine, very insecure, and never crying or talking about his feelings to someone who cried constantly. At first, being with someone who shared feelings and showed vulnerability felt good, but it got to the point that I became more his therapist than his girlfriend.

He could not respect my boundaries when I asked him repeatedly to stop dumping on me. I realized I had lost love for him, and also for like, after three months.

Posted by u/boy_robot_Sky:

Yeah, I dated one. He was an extra rare type, a gay nice guy.

He felt entitled to sex and affection and would not accept no. He would randomly pick me up and carry me around to 'protect me' because he thought it was cute. He gave me random gifts and flowers and expected affection back, which felt very uncomfortable.

Being put on a pedestal and worshipped does not feel right; it is weird and dehumanizing. Do not do that.

Posted by u/100_night_sky_:

I was in a similar situation once. I dated a sweet guy. But honestly, 'sweet' is subjective. He was a gentleman, but he insisted on always opening the car door for me (he would not let me touch the car handle, like at all), letting me eat first always (instead of both at the same time because it is not a big deal for me), and commenting that I should never cut my hair, etc.

I felt like I was with a man from the 50s. Being treated 'like a queen' instead of an equal drained me. He was okay otherwise.

When I broke up with him, he acted like he didn't want to let me go. I had to explain repeatedly that I didn't feel it and he deserved someone who felt the same way.

He hung up the phone saying, 'You don’t know what you missed out on.'