Engineer jokes, puns, and humor ranked by those in the know. We're transparent - we don't really know what engineers do, but we think they fix things. They don't drive trains, or do they? To thank the men and women who keep our buildings upright and software running, we've compiled a list of the funniest engineer jokes from the web. Classics like 'you might be an engineer if' and 'glass half full' are here. Engineers, enjoy! Others, good luck understanding - maybe a friend with a master's in aeronautics can explain. Vote for your favorite joke and add any we missed in the comments, preferably with a dash of humor and duct tape.
🔥 254 votes
About this list
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If you are a pessimist, the glass is empty.An engineer's glass is twice as big as needed.
31 - 4
Mechanical engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets.
29 - 8
Seven engineers install the new bulb. Six engineers decide what to do with the old one for ten thousand years.
19 - 11
When they talk, they look at your shoes, not at them.
9 - 14
They realize they lack the charm to be an undertaker.
6 - 15
You used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts..
5 - 20
S equals Sitting.T equals Talking.U equals Unlimited.D equals Dreaming.Y equals Yawning.
0 - 21
-1 - 22
You cannot remember where you parked your car for the third time this week.
-2 - 23
Three people and a psychologist assemble a futon.
-4 - 24
Antarctica holds the highest concentration of P. Enguins.
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