15 First Date Dos And Don'ts, According To Men

From Redditor u/ext23:

Remember you are both there by choice. The other person likely wants to see you a little. Relax.

From a former Redditor:

Go somewhere public and easy to leave. Avoid an amusement park, for instance, but don't meet at home.

I prefer a casual setting.

Length depends on success. Coffee takes five minutes to seven hours.

Physical contact stays small. I won't go past a goodbye kiss.

Be yourself is my plan. I talk more to new people to stop them from feeling awkward about the silence (most women start shy).

Be mostly yourself. You might turn many away at the door, but you did not waste your life. Maybe keep World of WarcraftSave stories for later dates. Also, do not fear deciding she is not right. If she is boring, she is boring; you do not have to fix it.

From Redditor u/MyFactCheckingCuz:

Ask questions confidently about your passions.

From Redditor u/alphager:

Your goal is not to please them. Your goal is to be as real as possible, giving them the facts needed to decide on a second date.

This does not mean you must act unpleasant. It means you avoid praising everything about them and bending to every request. That looks insecure.

From a former Redditor:

Here is my short piece...

Tip number 1: dress properly.
No ripped jeans, no holey T-shirts, no dirty shoes. Stay neat and tidy even in a casual spot. Keep your nails clean; shave or trim your beard.

If you are in your late twenties, you might know where you are going and how to get there. Stick to your plan. Do not act strange, and do not let the other person make you feel bad.

Finally, be friendly and open to new ideas. Ask questions, pay attention, and smile.

From a former Redditor:

Tips and tricks:

Smile and listen.

Offer to pay... just for a cup of coffee.

Be clean.

Do not try to be funny.

Keep a mental list of conversation topics if talking stops.

Do not fear walking away if she seems uninterested.

Do not fear staying if she is interested.

You fear doing something stupid to embarrass yourself. So, give her some leeway if she does something silly.

Against your gut feeling, be totally open and honest.

From Redditor u/AgentDL:

My ideal first dateA casual restaurant lunch or dinner lets you have drinks and light food. You can sit outside and watch people. Talking is the main point. A couple of drinks help both people calm down. You don't need to get drunk, but drinks help.

I wear jeans, Converse shoes, and a collared shirt with rolled-up sleeves. This look is casual, yet not too relaxed.

A good first date lasts three to six hours. I talk well. If I connect with someone, we talk for hours. I sometimes have loose plans after the date. If I don't enjoy myself, I have an exit plan. If I do, I tell the girl it was fine and I had fun.

I always avoid booths and two-seat tables. I want a four-seat table so we share one corner. This lets us initiate small physical contact, like touching arms, knees, or feet (not hands). Doing this is harder sitting across from each other.

For me, success in physicality means kissing or making out during the first date, maybe after a couple of hours, or at least a kiss at the end. I want enough spark to kiss by the end. If I see potential, I do not rush to sleep with her or get too intense right away; that can wait.

I always pay the full bill. The girl usually tries (she grabs her purse, I say I got it, she asks if I am sure, I say absolutely). If she really insists, we split it.

From Redditor u/bertnerney:

I like keeping things simple. A girl I dated for months recently told me our first date was the best she had, and I do not think we did anything special.

We met for a drink in a pub to talk and see attraction. Instant chemistry and attraction existed on both sides, but we both kept it cool and talked. Because we connected well, I took her to her favorite restaurant; we talked, flirted, and stayed close for most of the evening.

From Redditor u/dachshundsarebetter:

This is less about the first date and more about dating generally.

Do not depend on others' approval. Dating is tough. Some first dates lead nowhere and make you spend time with people you do not like just for validation.

Managing anxiety can feel rough. It can cause anxiety and feel unfun. This depends on your personality. If you are anxious, repeatedly putting yourself out there is not fun. Partnered people hear dating and think "fun" because they think about spending time with their partner.

From aa former Redditor:

I think this advice works for anyone. But if you don't know the person well, suggest coffee or ice cream for a first date. Do not go out for dinner or anything long. If you dislike them within five minutes, escaping will be hard. Coffee offers a short, sweet option. If you really like them, then suggest something longer.

From Redditor u/Stratisphear:

I keep it casual for coffee. Go to a café. This lets people leave fast if they aren't interested. It skips the long commitment of a movie or dinner. If the date lasts fifteen minutes, it likely won't work. If it goes over an hour, you probably have something. This lets you talk more, learn about each other, and cuts down on awkward glances like, "Oh god, how much longer must I stay?"

From aa former Redditor:

Breakfast dates work well for first dates. If you like the person, you can plan more activities for your day. If things fail, you can both go your separate ways. Breakfast costs less than dinner. You do not need to dress up much; the atmosphere stays relaxed. Breakfast dates are great!

From aa former Redditor:

Pick a spot where a real conversation happens. Hope she is interesting and my wallet doesn't empty halfway through.

From aa former Redditor:

I prefer a first date to be a walk in the park or along the beach. You get to know each other better. Plus, in summer, you can relax on the grass together. After walking, you can get coffee or food.

When it is cold, go for the coffee date.

From aa former Redditor:

Keep it very casual: Invite her over. Make great food. Serve wine.

Hope you get it? A good time.

The date lasts all night. They usually sleep at my place.

No tips needed. Nothing special. If she likes you, she likes you.