10 Ways To Bust Out Of Hell: A Practical Guide

Stay positive no matter what you do. If you are in Hell, try hard to flip that frown. Erin Pavlina, a counselor, says if you are in literal Hell, you must "kindly ask the demon with the pitchfork to stop poking you".The demon with the pitchfork must stop poking you."Stop beating yourself up. Forgive yourself for your transgressions. Accept the consequences of your actions. Allow yourself to be loved once again." Stop acting like a Debbie Downer, and you can leave Hell. Pavlina says, "When you die, if you really want to, you can decide that you deserve some kind of punishment."

Dante shows one well-known escape from Hell. Dante chronicled a trip through nine circles of Hell and a final escape. How did he manage it in Dante'sInferno.Satan resides in the ninth circle of Hell, the deepest point, right in the Earth's center. Satan is trapped from the waist down in ice. Dante and Virgil must climb down his fur andthrough his navel.They reach the southern hemisphere. They land on the Mountain of Purgatory, which sits opposite Jerusalem. If that confuses you, remember Medieval people used bad maps.

Being thrown out of Hell like an exclusive club isn't escaping. If you are stuck in the pit, try to get out any way you can. When Matthew Botsford wasshot in the head during an Atlanta gun battle in 1992, he said he went to Hell. Botsford described it: “Utter darkness enveloped me as if thick, black ink had been poured over my eyes.” He said he was “hung over an abyss” as fire blasted him, and a divine entity grabbed him by the waist and said, “It’s not your time,”During an Atlanta gun battle in 1992, he said he went to Hell. Botsford describes it this way: “Utter darkness enveloped me as if thick, black ink had been poured over my eyes.” He said he was “hung over an abyss” as fire blasted him, and a divine entity grabbed him by the waist, saying, “It’s not your time.”This is only a stroke of luck, not an escape.Admittedly, this is luck, not an escape.

Kenneth Hagin thought he was stuck in Hell forever. At the gates, a creature grabbed his arm to lead him into a fire pit in Hell. Someone watched him because "a voice spoke from far above the blackness, above the earth, and above the heavens." Hagin did not know the speaker or the words—the voice spoke no English—but it made the creature let go of Hagin's hand. Then something wild happened.An unseen power, like suction, pulled me up, away from the fire, away from the heat, andback into the shadows of the absorbing darknessI started to riseuntil I reached the top of the pit and saw the earth's lights." Then Hagin slipped back into his body and continued living.

King Admetus made a close friend of Apollo, the sun god, who often saves him. Admetus sets up a 'get out of Hades' situation that quickly goes wrong, as Greek myths often do. Apollo gets the Fates drunk. They agree to let Admetus live if he finds someone to go to Hades instead. Admetus says, "No problem," and asks either parent to die for him. They balk at going to Hell.His wife, Alcetis, steps in.She steps in, of course. Admetus sees Alcetis slipping toward Hell and thinks, "Huh, maybe I did want to die after all." You could have said that before.You could have said that before your wife sacrificed herself?Your wife sacrificed herself?

Stuck in Hell? Did you swap places with your wife so she could go to Hell for you, and now you see you made a bad choice? No problem. Just get Hercules (or Heracles if you're mean) to fight a Hell god for you, and the problem ends. After trading his wife for the devil so he could live, King Admetus saw his mistake. Luckily, he had a house guest with a fix. When Hercules crashed in his palace, Admetus convinced the muscle man tofight Thanatos, the god of death.After Hercules won, Admetus's wife returned from the underworld. This seems easy, but you must know a Greek demi-god to handle the fighting for you.

Suppose you are stuck in Hell with no exit. If you have a significant other protected by the gods, you should be fine. This holds true as long as the boyfriend or girlfriend rescuing you is not an idiot. In Greek mythology, Eurydice, Apollo's daughter, got stuck in the underworld after a viper bit her.

Her new husband, Orpheus, was so upset that all the nymphs told him to go after her himself. He did. He fought through the underworld, across the Styx river, past Cerberus, to meet Hades and ask if his bride could return to the surface world with him. Hades, interested by the kid's nerve, said, "Sure, you can take your bae,"Do not turn around.and look at her until you are both out of the underworld, okay?

Orpheus went to Earth with Eurydice following. But when he could not hear her steps, he thought he was tricked. Only a few feet from the exit, Orpheus lost his nerve and turned to check on Eurydice. She vanished, sent back to the land of the dead forever. Woof.

Hell is likely just another dimension where normal rules fail. You can accidentally get dragged out of Hell, but do not hope for it. The best example of escaping Hell by accident is inHellraiserFrank Cotton, a sex maniac, is torn apart by Cenobites in their S&M Hell dimension. He gets sent to Earth when his brother accidentallyHe spills some blood.It spills on the family's attic floor. You escape Hell, demons chase you until they hook you with their chains. You do not know how this works.

Did you run from problems after killing your boyfriend when he turned evil? If you are like Buffy Summers in the...Season ThreeBuffy the Vampire Slayer In the episode "Anne," Buffy finds Hell acts like a "Hell factory," not traditional Hell. Buffy works as a waitress in Hell's diner, Helen's Kitchen.

If you are stuck in a similar "Hell" and cannot escape, you can fight your way out. Expect to fight many guards and demons; you will likely kill people. Buffy left the diner after fighting baddies and exposing a patron as a demon. If you escape, you will have a story for Sunnyday (or wherever you live).

The story starts in the middle of things.Drive AngryPosits you can break out of Hell if you drive fast enough. If you are in Hell and must save someone outside, like your granddaughter from a Satanic ritual, find Satan's 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air. Steal his rifle—that is possible—and drive until you reach Louisiana. If you escape Hell in this way, a demon will likely chase you, so drive carefully!