Hiring A Nanny Or Babysitter: Red Flags & Choosing A Good One

Everybody likes an enthusiastic caretaker, but this...A former Redditor found a prospective nanny who wanted the job too much. This, among other red flags, sent her to Reddit for feedback. She wrote, "She kind of sounded like she was pressuring us to let her start sooner ('oh you guys must be so tired, why don't you bring him over and catch up on sleep!')," she wrote. "My husband thought she was just being super nice and generous but I found it odd."A prospective nanny wanted the job too much. She sought feedback on Reddit. She sounded like she pressured them to start early, saying things like, "oh you guys must be so tired, why don't you bring him over and catch up on sleep!". Her husband thought she was nice, but the writer found it odd.

Redditor /u/StephanannyThe responder says, "If your gut says no, don't do it. Saying, 'we have decided to go in a different direction,' is fine. This woman sounds very eager and likely has been rejected for many jobs."

The former Redditorwas thrownwhen the candidate said she "couldn't wait to start buying more baby stuff!" This made the new mother feel like a line was crossed. "I don't feel comfortable knowing she's buying stuff for her house for my kid? Like once she does, am I obligated to her?"

Redditor /u/statersgonnastateconcurs, saying hearing she wanted to start early and buy baby things without job offers makes me feel yucky. I would wonder what else she might be pushy or boundary stomping on.

Strike three? The candidate said her rates were $10-$12 per hour.the former Redditor. "Nannies around here EASILY get $20 per hour. She said she knew that but thought it seemed like a lot. We actually told her that seemed low and offered $15, but why was she so willing to accept so much less?"

From Redditor /u/gillandred:

"Recently she started mixing up my bottles of breastmilk with bottles of formula. I have the bottles lined up by date and she put them in a different order and put bottles of formula right next to them. Her former clients were high-powered lawyers who did not breast-feed and I wonder if she feels uncomfortable giving the baby my milk?"

I let the nanny know I want the baby outdoors daily. I offered her using the stroller for a walk around the block or sitting on the gazebo in the backyard. I thought she would like not feeling trapped inside, but she seems very scared of taking the baby out in a stroller.

In response, Redditor /u/kynanny says:

"Not wanting to take the baby out seems odd. I love taking mine out, and usually, parents ask me to keep them inside. When interviewing, what did she say about activities? Does she expect to be on the couch all day? A 20-minute walk won't hurt anyone, or a couple of gazebo visits."

But Redditor /u/dshort44 suggests:

"Maybe the nanny is out of shape and doesn't like to walk; if so, you can't make her. Tell her to sit outside, and if she won't, you will find someone who will."

Redditor /u/gillandredThe nanny seemed flustered when asked how much formula she gave the baby; she started babbling and rattled off numbers. I asked her to keep a written journal of the feedings, but she acted annoyed by this.

Redditor /u/kynannyShe says everyone needs to agree on when and what the baby eats, especially if the baby has weight issues. I always keep logs for parents, diapers, naps, feeding, foods, and special activities. That is standard.

From Redditor /u/gillandred:

She bought a present for my daughter. This seemed odd since she mentioned being short on gas money and asked for a salary advance. I felt any gift from her seemed like a red flag; she wanted to spend her own money on my child.

But Redditor /u/KorsolaI feel this is an overreaction:

I would not worry about the gift. Her finances are her business. I have bought gifts for my children before based on activities I thought they would like or a cute outfit I could not pass up.

From Redditor /u/DontF*ckWithMyMoney:

[M]y kids told me they went to her friend's house first, where they stayed in the car while she picked up her baby, who was with her friend. She never mentioned the first stop, and this was the first day, which bothered us.

Wednesday, the night before Day 2, she texted my wife at 8:30 PM saying she had foot surgery that day. Because moving would be hard, she planned to take the kids to her house—a place we had never been—and her friend, whom we had not met, would help.

We objected right away. We objected because of the short notice and because she immediately took the kids somewhere we had not agreed to and involved people we did not know.

Redditor /u/whatisthisadultingresponds:

I have a full-time nanny here. There are too many red flags. One is telling you her plan without asking? On day two? To a place and with someone you did not authorize? I would never imagine doing that.

Redditor /u/Thr33wolfmoonoffers the following crie de coeur:

This is the second babysitter who has canceled on me in under a month. My job has flexible travel, so I schedule my trips to match babysitters’ schedules.

A few weeks ago, I booked travel. The night before, one babysitter canceled, forcing me to cancel all travel plans and reschedule appointments. Then, I received no reply from her. So, I hired a new babysitter whom I know through another person and thought was reliable. I booked travel for today.

She cancels at 2:30 AM for today. I scramble. I now have four extra hours driving, plus six hours of customer visits, childcare, and five hours of follow-up work. I hope to get a quick nap tonight before repeating this all tomorrow.

Dude, I can't handle this. I pay $15 an hour, rounding up for hours, and usually add a bonus. I got $40 cash for 1.5 hours today. My kids were only awake for half an hour to an hour during that time.

I spent hours yesterday typing instructions, labeling lunches and clothes, and cleaning the house. I work over 80 hours a week and only clean if I choose to, instead of sleeping. I am furious. I spent much time making things easy for the babysitter so the kids could get to school.

Redditor /u/AphroditeHarbingerresponds with the following advice:

"Choose older nannies. Younger ones tend to be flaky. I say this as a nanny of 15 years. Also, find someone on a site like Sittercity. Vet them well. Make sure you hire someone with both a resume and a contract ready to sign. That shows they take their work seriously."

From Redditor /u/thesassyllamas:

I sought a part-time sitter for my three-year-old, who has a dozen food allergies. One woman was highly recommended. After meeting her many times and letting my son interact with her, we hired her. She swore she could handle all his food allergies. I gave her all his food, asking her not to cook or eat his three anaphylactic allergens during the few hours she had him. A day later, I got a call from work. My son Neville had hives everywhere. I went to pick him up. His dad and I arrived. The babysitter was laughing, saying, 'I cooked eggs this morning, and some spilled on the floor. Neville tried to pick them up and almost ate them!' He is deathly allergic to eggs. This woman laughed about him almost taking his own death. From that reaction alone, he had facial swelling and hives. We never contacted her again.

Redditor 'u/typing_awayrecounts:

"I am the kid in this story. I had a babysitter; let's call her Angel."

Angel was trustworthy. She later decided she could babysit me and see her friend at the same time. I was a five-year-old going out with a group of teens. At first, it went fine. We went to the movies, to the beach, and so on.

After a few times, I saw Angel ignoring me. I felt bored and wanted to go home. We were at the beach. That day, I cried. I was sad.

Angel told me to stop crying. I clearly remember her leaving me alone and telling her friends she was finished. One guy in the group opposed leaving me alone. So, all her friends left with Angel. That guy stayed with me. We spent the rest of the day trying to go home.

A five-year-old boy was left at the beach. If that man had not stayed, I would have been lost forever. He did not speak English; he knew only the basics.

We arrived late that evening. Mom started to worry. Angel did not tell anyone she left me behind.

Mom became very angry. Seeing her fire Angel felt great.

From Redditor /u/RoxxyB:

I hired a young woman to watch my infant son. Slowly, I wondered if things were missing. Maybe a pair of my jeans? Maybe spare change or loose bills? I was not sure. Then, after my son's christening, I saw all the cash in the gift envelopes gone. All the bills and quarters from my older daughter's piggy bank were missing too. I was disgusted she would do this. We fired her. We estimated she took about $500, and she paid it back right after she was fired.

A former Redditorreports:

"Another girl's mom texted me for everything. I could not enjoy the time away because I was busy being a mom to two kids! Her mom texted me too, asking when I was returning and if I was coming back early because she was waiting outside. I felt like I was just waiting for time to end so I could get them away."