Reddit Updates That Had Us On The Edge

From Redditor u/ThrowRA_Necessary_22:

I own many houseplants, some expensive gifts from my sister. At least a third of my plants died in the last six months. I know a lot about plants from my late mother's love for them. The plants died suddenly. This did not seem linked to light, watering, nutrients, or root rot. I tried not to get upset because plants die, and not all the plants were expensive until now. My sister gave me a five-leaf Monstera Albo rooted plant for my birthday two months ago. It looked beautiful.

This morning, I cried hard unpotting it and examining the roots. I looked closely at the plant and roots, checking if pests caused the death. Then, I smelled something. I sniffed the potting mix and smelled bleach. My husband is the only other adult in my home with unrestricted access to my plants.

I could not speak to him for hours. When I finally talked, I asked him calmly and directly if he had done anything to my plants. He first denied it. I told him I smelled bleach in the potting mix of the Albo my sister gave me, and that he was the only one who could have put it there. He gave in. He admitted he put small amounts of bleach into the fertilizer water jugs I prepare. I started crying. I asked him why he would destroy them, knowing I love these plants. He offered no real answer or apology.

My trust in him is gone. Counseling might help us, but he caused this. I have to set up the counseling. The angry part of me just wants to end the relationship. Being married and sharing a child makes this seem extreme, but I now feel unsafe around my husband.

Update:

My husband is no longer welcome in my home; I must find a lawyer Monday. I texted him, and he admitted again to putting bleach in my fertilizer water. He said it was not every jug I made, which explains why not all my plants died but died randomly over the last six months. His exact words were that I deserved to be knocked down a peg.

After text talk, I went home early and entered his office. I usually respect his space. Hundreds of comments suggesting he was planning something worse, or already doing something else, worried me. I found a drawer full of my daughter's dolls and dollhouse furniture and small toys. She takes great care of her toys, but something always goes missing, and my husband notices. He lectures her about tracking things and says he won't let her play with her dollhouse if she loses items. He continues until she starts to cry. I always step in and ask him to take a break. I thought he lost control. I told him this is not how to handle this with a child. He said he just wants her to grow up responsible. Now I see a weird plan? Or a setup? He steals things, hides them, and points out their absence to anger our daughter until she cries.

My sister, her husband, and her husband's dad visited this afternoon. They changed the locks. I texted him telling him not to return and that he could get his essentials Saturday morning, but my brother-in-law and another man will watch.

Redditor u/cowtogirl:

I will not share all the painful details of our relationship. We loved each other, and I still love him. But I found out; clearly, he does not.

I found proof he has cheated for some time, in small home movies of them. I do not know the girl. From their conversations (yes, I snooped after finding the discovery), she has no idea I exist.

Tonight is my boyfriend's biggest night. He gets a state award at a big dinner with hundreds of people, from his Mom and Dad to councilmen and everyone else. I only found out about this wrong because I was putting together a video for him of key moments in his life.

I carry much power now. I do not know if I have it to do what is right. Or if I even know what is right. Tears of rage, sadness, and betrayal blind me. Still, I love him, have loved him, and do I really want to do this?

The relationship is over, no doubt. I am not a woman who accepts her man cheating, certainly not. That is not the problem.

The issue involves cutesy selfies of the two of them. Many of them exist, shared only between them. There is nothing lewd (there is plenty on camera, though).

Should I sneak one into the snap reel to show him I know? Or do I just confront him after his time in the sun is over?

I will not pick up everything and leave without stopping contact. That is not my way and it would not make me feel good; it would just make me very sad.

I did the thing for once. Anyone seeing the snap reel would think it was just a picture of him and a friend. But for him, and for me, it was a private message, an outing.

Update:

A month and a half passed since this happened. I did the immature, vengeful thing. I do not regret it. I took photos of the two of them—tasteful photos showing only a possible childhood friendship. I put them in the snap reel. I spoke kindly of him at the podium, then left after my turn ended.

I drove home feeling calm and in control. Twenty minutes later, the texts started. Where did I go? What did I know? Where did I find the photos? Was there more for him?

I texted him, "I know you've been cheating on her. But there are no more photos." There were none. I left it at that.

He did not come home that night. Or the next.

The next day, he called asking to meet and talk in a public place. I agreed to meet him at Starbucks. I arrived early and waited. He showed up a few minutes late and took the seat across from me.

He started with excuses, saying it "just happened." He fully regrets it. He claims she meant nothing to him. He said she looked like a high school crush and he was powerless against his teenaged self.

I did not interrupt him. I let him have his time. After he finished and looked at me for a sign of what came next, I said, "So where did you stay the past few nights?"

"Her house."

"And what did you do?"

He would not answer. I had no doubt in my mind. I knew I was leaving him. He talked over himself, apologizing and begging for forgiveness. He said he would change.

I told him I did not want him to change. If his nature meant cheating on his girlfriend, then that is not someone I wanted.

He said he was thinking of proposing to me. I replied, "Good thing I found out before."

Weeks later, he moved out, and I am doing well. We cut contact. People ask about him constantly. I tell them, "He left me for a girl who looked like his high school crush."

That is the end. We are broken up. We will never get back together. I feel no regret about how I handled it. One commenter said there is no need to always take the high road.

From Redditor u/McDamage76:

My daughter's ex-boyfriend took my cat after they broke up. He contacted me days later, saying he would return the cat if I had sex with him. I want to know my legal options. I live in Oklahoma.

Comment From OP:

He is 18. I am not considering doing it. I want to know if I can use his demand against him.

Update:

I got my cat back. After seeing everyone's replies to my last post, I acted to get my cat back. I contacted my daughter's ex and told him I would do what he asked. He needed to come to my house, and I needed to see my cat first to confirm he brought her. I agreed. He showed up at my house with my cat. As soon as he entered and I had the cat, my boyfriend (who is also my daughter's father) and my daughter's new boyfriend both came from the bedroom and escorted the ex boyfriend off my property without trouble.

Redditor u/PinDry258:

My parents are always late for everything. Both my sister and I face disappointment often. Graduation ceremonies, birthday parties, even my father's retirement dinner. My mother causes this. She is a great mother, and I love her, but she fails to grasp being on time.

I saw her talking to her sister on the phone. I told her she needed to be at my baby sister's dance recital. She waved me off and arrived after my sister danced. We all accept this. My dad stops trying to make her on time for anything.

My wife (F28) told me clearly: if my mother was late for our wedding, she would do terrible things to me. She was only half-joking. However, she saw my mom and dad arrive halfway through my cousin's quinceañera.

This was my action. I did all of it. My wife was not involved. If there was a move, it was mine. While getting wedding samples, I spoke to the printer. I had one special invitation printed with a time one hour before the actual ceremony start time.

My mother became extremely upset when they left the house. She thought they would miss the wedding because she was there with my MIL lighting the unity candle and other things. When she arrived and saw other people arriving and parking, she felt relieved that we were starting late, so she went with it. The ceremony went beautifully. The wedding pictures and the reception went just as well.

The issue happened last Sunday. My parents came for a big family dinner, and we waited to start the grill until they arrived. She asked why no one was eating. We said we knew we would wait for them since they are always late. She claimed she wasn't always late; she had been on time for my wedding. She had not been. They arrived 45 minutes after the time on their invitation.

My cousin John, whose real name is common and he needs people to know he is an idiot, snorted at her statement. Other people giggled or smiled. She picked up and asked what was funny. I told her about the "special" invitation.

She is angry at me for not trusting her and making her look foolish. If my cousin had controlled himself, she would not have known. AITA?

She is mad because she had her invitation framed. I planned a heist with my sisters to swap it for the real one, just in case she noticed the difference between hers and the one we framed at home.

Update:

My parents have been embarrassed for two years because I tricked them into being on time for my wedding. Every time I see them, they say I was a d*ck not to trust them.

My little sister just got married. She took the noon church slot. My mom got deeply involved in planning the wedding to show I am an immature asshole. She said she would be on time and miss nothing.

I hate when people clink glasses for the bride and groom's kiss. I set up a betting pool for kisses based on how late my parents were. It cost $10; guess correctly within five minutes, and you get a free pass for my sister and her husband to kiss.

Almost everyone bet "on time" due to the wedding sh*travaganza. Thirty-five minutes was the right time. Only I, my cousin John, and his sister Yvonne received free passes for kissing. I bet $100. I felt sure.

We raised almost $1,500 for the honeymoon with my stupid idea. I got to interrupt my sister's eating with my ten passes. Win-win. Except my mom thinks I did it to embarrass her.

She helped plan the wedding and was still late by over half an hour. We cleaned up decorations in my sister's colors while the next wedding was decorating after us.

My mom will never change. But I control her inability to care about being on time for humanity's good.

From Redditor u/faxxed:

My husband Robbie (26 M) and I (26 F) married earlier this year. The day was beautiful. I felt much love and support from both sides of our family.

Two months after our wedding, I celebrated my birthday at my in-laws' house. After dinner, we sat in the living room, talking and drinking. Then, my SIL got a call from a friend. The friend asked what she was doing. She said it was her "brother's best friend's birthday." I had never heard anyone call me Robbie's best friend. I am his wife; we were engaged for over two years before that. My SIL calling me that confused me. I always call her my SIL and expect her to do the same, maybe even call me Robbie's wife, but not best friend. After my SIL hung up, I asked her why she said that. She showed no embarrassment. She simply said, "Well, you are best friends! And that's what mom and dad call you" (referring to MIL and FIL). My SIL and I are not close, but we are nice and never fight.

I let it go that night, though it felt strange. Then it happened again a few days ago. My MIL and I work in the same industry, different companies nearby. Our companies sometimes work together for clients who switch. This week, that happened. I visited my MIL's office to help a client move. My MIL was there, so I stopped by to say hello. She introduced me to a colleague. Again, I felt confused by how she did it. She said, "This is my son's best friend!" as I shook hands. I stopped and awkwardly said, "I'm his wife...". The colleague looked confused, but my MIL smiled and did not say anything. Later, I asked my MIL why she said that. Like my SIL, she acted like it was normal. She said the same thing, "Well, you are best friends!"

I can only think my vows to Robbie explain this. I promised to stay his best friend. Nobody treated this as odd or special; I feel putting this in vows is common. So I don't know why Robbie's family clings to it, unless it connects to everything. I talked to Robbie about it; he is also puzzled. He asked his parents privately, and they gave him the same answer they gave me.

This feels like bullying to me, but they have never acted this way before. Are they calling me his best friend because they dislike that I am his wife? Or is this an inside joke they share without me? I do not know what to do or think about it, especially since the in-laws act like it is no problem when I bring it up. Yes, I am Robbie's best friend, but I am also his life partner, and their DIL/SIL…

Update

Things blew up with Robbie's family. Yesterday afternoon, Robbie and I visited his parents for dinner. I needed to stay home to finish a big work project. I told Robbie to see his family while I got pizza. Robbie then decided to 'set things straight' and find out why his mom and sister called me his 'best friend.'

Robbie had a normal dinner with his parents. They drank more than usual. Robbie and his dad often have guy time in his dad's garage, talking about cars and projects. Robbie confronted his dad about this situation.

FIL finally admitted to Robbie that his mother-in-law, his sister-in-law, and he made a "bet" about the duration of the narrator's and Robbie's marriage. FIL bet they would stay together; MIL bet less than a year; SIL bet less than six months. A cash prize was involved.

FIL admitted the 'best friend' title aimed to annoy me and make me doubt my relationship with Robbie and his family. They thought acting like it was no issue long enough would drive me crazy and make me angry at Robbie for not stepping in.

Robbie stormed into the house to confront his mom about everything. Robbie, MIL, and FIL had a screaming match. Robbie left, walked to a gas station, and called me for a ride because he couldn't drive. This morning, while I drove Robbie to get his car, we had a very awkward talk with his parents. MIL is furious at FIL for breaking the secret; they fought all night. FIL will stay in our extra bedroom for a few days, or until they can calm down and talk.

Robbie now wants no contact with his mom and sister. He is mad at his father but is more ready to forgive him. I would prefer we see a family therapist before doing this, but we are still sorting things out. Hopefully, both marriages can stay together.

From Redditor u/milchickenpox:

I find it hard to type this because thinking about it makes me very angry.

Earlier this year, my husband [31M] and I chose to spend Christmas with his family for the first time since my daughter arrived last September. Since they live twelve hours away, we decided to stay a few weeks before Christmas so they could spend time with Annie [13 months].

We arrived early as planned; everything was great. After two days, my husband and I picked up gifts from a mall an hour away before the rush hit. My father-in-law [60M] joined. Trish said she would look after Annie.

We returned a few hours later. Annie slept on a blanket I did not recognize. Trish said a friend dropped by and gave it as an early Christmas gift. It looked old and worn, but I thought a hippy friend was just recycling it.

The next two weeks passed fine. The day after Christmas, Annie became very unsettled, fidgeting and crying nonstop. I took her temperature; she had a fever. I watched her for the next few days; thankfully, it dropped. This morning, she developed a rash and blisters on her arms and legs, and I panicked.

I packed a bag to drive to the doctor. Trish asked where I was going. I told her Annie had a rash and I was taking her.

She gave me a smug smile and said there was nothing to worry about. I asked what she meant. She said, without looking at Annie, that what she had wasJust.chickenpox.

I asked how she knew that. She casually admitted a friend's grandchild had chickenpox a few weeks prior.So she asked them to wipe a blanket over the child's arms, legs, and face and bring it to her house..

At that point, I could not believe what I heard. I asked if that blanket was the gift Annie was sleeping on. She said it was. I lost my mind.

Honestly, I do not recall what I said. I was awake most of the night for two days checking on Annie. I unleashed everything on Trish, asking what was wrong with her.

My husband and father-in-law came to calm things down. Trish stood firm, saying chickenpox was "the best and most natural thing" for Annie to build immunity. I already have a vaccination schedule with my pediatrician, and she was scheduled for chickenpox immunization at 18 months.

We drove to the doctor. He confirmed she had it. He said I must cut Annie's nails short and might tape socks on her hands while she sleeps because young kids scratch until they bleed, which leaves scars.

On the drive back, my husband made excuses for Trish, claiming she only did what she thought was best. I could not believe he defended her. We fought most of the way home until I told him to stop talking to me.

Annie has been scratching constantly, so I taped socks over her hands. Trish tried to talk to me when we got back, and I told her to leave my sight.

We were supposed to stay until Wednesday, but I finished packing our things so we could leave first thing in the morning.

I am furious and can't think. Hearing Trish move in the kitchen makes my heart race, and I want to grab her hair. I never want to see her or let my daughter see her again.

What do I say to make her and my husband grasp how much she did? (I cannot speak clearly to their faces until Annie improves.)

Update:

I did not think this would happen—but things worsened.

I woke up first thing and packed our things into the car. I kept the keys in my pocket because I entered and exited; we usually use Jack's set and I keep mine in my bag. While I packed, he sat in the kitchen with Trish and my father-in-law [60M] and talked and drank coffee, acting like nothing was wrong.

Annie slept soundly, so I gently buckled her in and closed her door. Jack came out and asked if I had everything. I told him we were ready to go as soon as he was.

He said 'okay,' took out his keys, and locked the car from the center, locking Annie inside. I asked him what he was doing, and he stated we would not leave until I apologized to Trish.

I froze, stunned, because he then repeated what he said the day before: that Trish thought she did what was right, that "chickenpox doesn't kill you," and that I was "making a bigger deal out of this" than necessary, making Trish feel bad. Yes, makingherfeel bad.

All my last post comments spun in my head. I told him he must stop acting like a son and start acting like a father. He made a face and said he wouldalwaysbe Trish's son, and that was the point—nobody should speak tohis motherthe way I did the day before, and I needed to apologize to clear the air.

I felt like I entered a weird Twilight Zone. I accidentally married a 9-year-old instead of an adult man. I asked him to open the car to leave. He kept refusing. Then, he walked back inside. He said he would see me in there when I acted more reasonable.

He probably thought my keys were in my bag on the passenger seat. They were not. I waited thirty seconds. Then, I got into the car and drove away.

My phone exploded with calls from him, Trish, and my father-in-law. Eventually, my mom, dad, and my sister Jess, whom I am very close to, called too… Mom, dad, and Jess offered to drive and meet me halfway so I could swap with one of them and avoid driving the full twelve hours alone in one day. I was so thankful to see them I nearly broke down in a truck stop parking lot while I cried that I loved them…

The next few days felt tense. I answered Jack's call, and he started ranting that he didn't recognize the person I had become. I hung up. He returns for the start of the work year. I did not look forward to it, but we could manage if Trish stays twelve hours away.

Around 11 pm, I received a short, formal text from the father-in-law through Jack's phone. The text said Trish had the shingles and was in the emergency room. Jack is staying there to care for her and will work from their house remotely once the year begins.

Jack has spent the last few weeks tending to Momma's every demand. She acts like she's in a terrible situation. Google says her painful, crusty pustules should disappear soon.

Weeks ago, I felt tired and overwhelmed, unsure what to do. Now, I am home with people who care. I realize how lucky I am to see the odd relationship with his mother this early. His focus on Trish over his own daughter shows a lot. When he returns, we must talk seriously about our future.

From Redditor u/red563:

My girlfriend and I have been together for five months. We were casual friends since college, but we started dating after she graduated. We get along well. When I mention princess syndrome, I mean she is not spoiled or entitled. Her clothes control her life.

She dresses like a fairytale princess almost every day, except at work. She wears long, frilly skirts and lacey blouses. This works for her because she is pretty and pulls it off. I found it sweet at first, but then I saw how much time she spends on her outfits.

She runs a blog with many followers. She constantly posts outfit pictures, clothing links, and more. She spends several hours daily on her blog. She also spends time sewing new items for outfits or for her Etsy store.

When we go out, people stare at what she wears. I have seen others sneak pictures of her on their phones. This attention makes me uneasy. I asked her to reduce it, but she took that to mean not wearing anything on her hair when we are out.

I told her many times I love her as she is. She brushes it off. I hoped she would become more serious after starting her chosen career, but her boss and coworkers push her. I worry people will not take her seriously or see how kind and smart she is. How do I talk to her about dressing better without hurting her feelings?

Update 1:

Things changed. I needed to be more supportive, but I also needed to tell her how to dress down for certain times so we both feel good. I never got the chance to speak with her.

Last week, she called. She wanted to visit my apartment after work. I offered dinner, but she said she couldn't stay; we had to talk. I joked about her breaking up with me, and she looked guilty. Things are moving in a certain direction.

We discussed our different life stages and future goals. She spoke, and I agreed. It was an amicable split, even though I felt blindsided. We decided to remain friends. I never experienced a breakup before; it is awful.

I struggle with social media after the breakup. I want to stay in touch, but as soon as her status changed, these "alternative" guys started liking her posts and commenting on her pictures. I doubt she is seeing them, but it still hurts.

Update 210 years later:

Reliving this breakup from nearly 10 years ago feels embarrassing. Looking back, it wasn't meant to happen. I felt more affected by the breakup than losing the relationship.

I am 33. I married a wonderful woman (31F) four years ago. I learned to support my partner's hobbies. My wife enjoys running and baking. Our daughter turns three this year. I want her to express herself safely. I would do anything for them.

I remain friends with my ex on social media. We do not talk but 'like' each other's posts. She is married to another woman now who dresses differently. Her style is not as frilly as before, yet it remains unusual. Her pictures look like something from Anne of Green Gables. She seems very happy on their farm.

From Redditor u/SquidgyBubbles:

I woke up to a cold morning and ran to the shower, wanting to warm up fast. I turned the water on, got naked, and reached out to check if it was hot yet. It was not.

To save heat, like the survivalist I am, I crouched into a ball to shrink my surface area. I kept reaching into the shower sometimes to check the water temperature.

Now, my girlfriend entering the bathroom while I shower is normal and expected. I shower standing, she makes a little sound, and everyone keeps their dignity.

Today was different. While she started her usual routine, I woke up and chose Gollum. She walked in, sat on the toilet, and saw me: a squat, corrupted flesh-sphere splashing in the shallow shower tray.

Seeing myself through her eyes gave me a shiver. I found an exit: comedy. I recalled a tweet I never considered until I was in this spot, and I pretended it was mine.

I asked her, "Do you ever get on all fours in the shower, pretend to be a rhino, and moan pleasurably during the first rains of the year?"

Before she could say no, I doubled down. I crawled into the shower and mooed like a grateful rhinoceros. I saw something die in her eyes. She flushed and left the bathroom. We both finished getting ready, avoiding eye contact, and left for work.

How do I regain my image as someone with sexuality and dignity after this?

Update:

I showed her the post. She was so groggy that she forgot the grateful rhino part immediately. Thanks for the kind encouragement to build my confidence. Here's to more rains!

From Redditor u/ulerra:

Last night, I hung out with my best friend and boyfriend at her apartment. We started with games and movies. Then, we played "never have I ever," and the questions became sexual. She asked, "Never have I ever had a threesome," and both my boyfriend and I said no. Her mood shifted (scary), and she looked at us both. She asked, "What if we did something crazy?" I laughed; I could not imagine what she meant. Then she moved closer to my boyfriend and started kissing him! He let her continue.froze. It felt unreal, like a dream or nightmare. They made out like it was normal. I think I reacted like a trauma response, tricking myself into thinking this was okay. My brain did not seem ready for what happened, so it tricked itself. They started taking off their clothes, and on instinct, I undressed too. This is not a sex sub, so I will skip the dirty details, but a full threesome happened between us.

The next morning, I woke up thinking I dreamt it, but they were naked on the floor together. I could not process what happened, so I just left. When it hit me, I had a total breakdown. I received calls and texts from both of them asking if I was okay. I did not reply. Ican’trespond. I threw up twice from the intrusive memories. I did not want this. Why did I agree? Why did I not stop it? Why did SHE start it? Questions keep circling in my head.

I do not know what to do. My boyfriend's last text said, "I hope you aren’t upset. I think that was a special event in our relationship even though it was insane." He knocked on my door, and I have not opened it.

I don't know where to go. I still love him, yet I can't look at him the same—not her either. I feel totally betrayed in the worst way, even though I let it happen and took part.

Update:

I met my boyfriend about the situation. This is what I got from him after I asked many questions:

He did not sleep with her the whole time. That night was the first time.

He did not want to sleep with her, but he would not have refused. He blamed it on being a horny guy.

He thought the vibe was very sexual before she touched him. He expected it to happen and thought I did too. He mentioned how sexual the questions were and her saying we turned her on with our answers (she did say this, but I thought she was joking).

He did not push her away. He thought it would be fun for all of us.

He admitted he felt turned on by her boldness and doing it in front of me.

He figured if she did it so easily, it meant she and I talked about it beforehand, which is why we invited him.

They did not have sex after I left. They expressed regret about possibly hurting me, and he left as soon as he could.

I asked to see his phone to check if he had messaged her. He admitted they messaged a bit after the event, but nothing serious. I asked to see, and he got panicky, which made my heart drop. He said, “Let me remind you that I was still in the mindset that it was a special moment for us.” I knew I would feel sick from what I saw, but I needed the full truth, so I asked anyway. He showed me their DMs. They said something like:

Her: Let me know if you contact [my name].

Him: I will. Can I be honest though?

Her: Of course.

Him: Last night was the best night of my life.

Her- Me too. I feel bad that [my name] might feel bad, but god, it was so hot

Him: I’ll be sad if we can’t do that again.

Her: You’re everything [my name] said you were.

Him: She talks about me like that? I’m embarrassed lol.

Her- all the time. I low key wanted to see for myself

After that, he started praising her sex skills and things. I quickly skimmed over this because I knew I would get sick if I processed it fully. I skipped the rest of the conversation because I could not handle seeing anything else like that.

I scrolled up in their DMs and saw only memes and reposts. I am pretty sure last night was the first time. Still, it doesn't make me feel better because while I was having a breakdown, they were praising each other's sex skills and bodies. I told him to leave, and he begged me to forgive him for everything, but I told him to go fuck her again since he loved it so much.

I will probably block them both now. I need to focus on healing and moving on because I know I am not the type of person to get over that.

From a former Redditor:

Yesterday, I (28F) attended a family dinner with my mom, dad, and sister (26F). My sister is due to give birth soon and planned this dinner to announce the name she picked for her first child.

My sister loves aesthetics. Her house is beige and depressing. The entire nursery she built is beige and grey. She will not accept colorful gifts for the baby. I see her husband hates it, but he won't say it.

I laugh at the wrong times easily. I am autistic. I struggle to filter my words and feelings. This causes me to react in ways that offend people. I did not think this would cause problems until she announced her baby's name.

The dinner ended. We looked at my sister announcing her baby's name...

Brookleeigh-Willow Rose [Surname omitted for privacy]

The spelling is EXACTLY that.

I burst out laughing and said, “You cannot be serious.”

Now, I am banned from all family dinners.

Is the name really that bad? Was I really a massive asshole?

Update:

After writing this, I called my sister to apologize. I realized my action was a terrible move. I said I was sorry for laughing and apologized for using my disability as an excuse. I offered to treat her to lunch as an apology.

She was reluctant to forgive me, but she did. I am thankful. She said my actions hurt her, which I understood but she was willing to move past it.

I knew posting this story here would get the slap in the face I needed. I appreciate it.

If anyone wonders, the name is staying. I did not comment on it.

From Redditor u/Despite_Hope:

Two days ago, I (37F) had an anaphylaxis reaction from an unknown source while shopping with my husband (37M). Burning hives appeared out of nowhere. This never happened before. I asked him to call the nurse line to ensure the ER would be covered (American). He refused. I called myself while my face burned. I got the green light and went to the ER. He dropped me off and went back to the kids (15, 11).

The head nurse saw me and ordered the anaphylaxis cocktail before I reached registration. Five minutes later, I was gone. I got discharged, flying high on that cocktail and adrenaline.

My husband brought me home and asked if he could play D&D with the boys; both kids are at sleepovers. I am on medication again, happy to be alive. I would agree to anything. So, I said he could.

The next morning, I realized. Why would he consider going out after what happened? I am so hurt now I am seriously thinking of leaving him. Am I overreacting?

Update:

From Redditor u/throwRa_crusher:

I had a crush on Carla since middle school, going into high school, but she never paid attention to me.

I left for the military and met Sara, a nurse aiming to become a nurse practitioner. Sara was my usual type. I left the military for contracting work and moved back to my home state.

At the bar, Carla was my bartender one day. She did not recognize me, but when I gave her my name, she could not believe it. She said she could not believe how much I changed.

I became a regular and eventually exchanged contact info to catch up. Carla told me she has a crush on me, even though she knows I have a fiancée. She likes how driven I am now; I feel conflicted. She offered me time to think about what I want.

My fiancée and I are doing well, but I feel she is the type of woman I always get. Carla is different; I never had that chance or thought I would. I do not want to hurt Sara, but I fear I will regret not pursuing this.

Update:

I broke her heart. I love Sara deeply, and I foolishly called off the wedding to be with my old crush a few weeks ago.

During those couple of weeks, Carla used me as a piggy bank. That is all I was to her. I spoiled her, paid for her hair, nails, and more. I gave her everything.

I learned she used the money I Zelled her to buy a ticket for some guy to see her. This makes me sick.

I contacted Sara, but she feels betrayed. She said she does not want to be a sloppy second, but she is not. I love her and needed this to see it.

From Redditor u/artichoke_onmyheart:

Three weeks ago, my husband and I heard what we thought was a gunshot around 9 pm on a Friday. We felt worried, but nothing happened. For two weeks, I paid more attention to our neighbors not seeming around, except for their cars in the driveway. First, the grass was overgrown. Our HOA prevents this kind of neglect. Next, their cars stayed parked in the same backed-in, staggered spot. My husband and I come and go often; we should have seen them leave, arrive, or change their cars' positions like before. Also, their kitchen window faces our bedroom window, and I saw the light in that room always on. Morning, noon, night. It stayed on. Finally, they did not take their trash this week. I know this isn't required every trash day, but I saw they did not take it to the street or fill their outside can.

I called local police. They arrived. All windows and doors were locked. No one was inside. The officer heard a TV but no one answered. No signs of people were visible. The officer told me to watch for changes, or lack thereof. I searched social media for the neighbor, hoping they were on vacation, but I found no profile.

Am I overreacting?

Update:

My neighbors were not dead. I contacted the correct HOA. The lady helped me until she found the owner's name and email. She emailed him after I shared my worries.

I genuinely thought the landlord (house owner) killed them. He visited the house the day after I spoke to the HOA; he stayed short. He turned off the lights and TV. Two days passed, nothing changed. Then, suddenly, a car in the driveway vanished! I felt confused. The car returned, but no one answered the door. I suspect the landlord built a front because he knew someone was watching. A few more days later, another car appeared on the road. A woman and children left as I got home. I called out and asked the woman if she spoke to the residents. She was the neighbor's sister. The woman in the house had a 'horrible accident.' She avoided giving details. I only asked if her partner was okay. She replied, 'He will no longer be living here with her.' I found that odd since his car remained.

The grass is still uncut; the trash is still out. I do not know her state. I think about offering to help her or bring her food. I also feel insecure, like an idiot. How do I tell her I am glad she is alive when she nearly died?

From Redditor u/luvjaia:

Last month, my wife called in a panic. Her water broke; she was in labor. This shocked us because she was early in the pregnancy. I was already driving toward my mother, who called saying she was in an accident. I told my wife to call an ambulance; I would not turn around to drive her to the hospital for the birth. She yelled, cursed, and screamed at me. I tried to calm her, suggesting she call my sister since she lives nearby. Then, she went silent and hung up. I did not hear from her for an hour and a half. I checked my phone after reaching my mother. My sister sent a video showing my wife giving birth while holding her male friend's hand, like women hold husbands' hands during labor. My sister texted right after: “When are you going to get here?” I ignored that. I asked her if she drove my wife to the hospital; she said no. When I asked who did, she told me my wife’s male friend, who lives ten minutes away, drove her and was getting his hand squeezed by her.

My wife called her male friend instead of calling my sister or an ambulance, and she did not tell my wife. I told my sister to FaceTime me, but not to show anyone in the delivery room. I stayed quiet on the other end. During the call, I saw my wife's friend rub her back and wipe her tears, comforting her while she screamed and cried. I could not watch. I ended the FaceTime and told my sister to tell my wife I would arrive the next day after work once she finished labor. My sister called almost two hours later. She told me she left the hospital and my wife would stay the night.

The next day, around 3 or 4 PM, I went to the hospital to see my wife and newborn son. She did not hide her enter and saltiness from anyone in the room, including most of my family and some of hers. When I asked her why she acted that way, she rolled her eyes and told me to "leave her the f*ck alone" in front of everyone. Later, when I tried to hold my son, she snatched him from my hands. Hospital visiting hours ended at 8, but all guests except me left by 6. We were alone, and I finally spoke with her about why she was so salty on a day that should have been filled with love and joy. She got angry and mumbled about my audacity to miss her birth, surprising me with her anger. I did not feel proud of this, but I called her a cheater for inviting another man into the delivery room instead of her husband. This became a short, full argument that ended when a NICU nurse brought the baby back.

A month later, my wife only calls our son "HER son" or "HER" baby. I tried to connect by sitting down to talk about our family's future deeply. She flatly told me she would never have another child with me after what happened, which hurt me badly. Last week, I heard my wife on the phone discussing who would be God-fathers and mothers to our son. She told the other person she would choose the male friend as God-father because "he was there for me when (my name) couldn’t care less."

I also did not know the accident was minor until I arrived.

Redditor u/Update.Strong-Check-4055.:

I am the wife from that post. A friend found it and sent it to me…

Yes, I called my husband to tell him my water broke. He told me he would not make it and to call an ambulance or his sister (who called me a slur to my face before, so I do not know why he thought this was a good idea). I did not call his sister because we do not get along; I have a friend who lives closer. He drove me to the hospital, and his sister pulled into the lot almost right after us. I do not know how she knew I was going. Now I am in pain, scared, upset about my husband, and have someone I dislike with me during my most vulnerable moments.

I held my male friend's hand. Why not? SIL recording me became obvious. She isolated herself with her phone to her chest, pointed at me. I thought she was filming, not on FaceTime. I brushed it off. I did not ask about it while I was calm. My husband arrived the next day around 4 pm. He acted like nothing happened. I acted moody and rude toward him. This later became an argument after everyone left. He called me a cheater. I said nasty things too.

I isolate myself and my son from him as much as possible. I try to rely on him less in some ways. I cannot trust him to keep my son safe. I cannot trust him to change his diaper or pour my breast milk into a bottle and feed him. I cannot trust him to burp him or do anything for my son.

My husband has stated we are financially dependent. Because of this, I cannot divorce him right now. My family or support system does not live nearby to help my son and me. I am still in school. Staying for the kids is not healthy. My family advised me to stay for my schooling and my son's happiness.

My husband said he apologized many times. These apologies were just, "I'm sorry, will you stop being angry now?"

I am not sleeping with the male friend. We have been friends since second grade. Nothing romantic or sexual happened between us.

Redditor u/Individual_Tailor767:

Every few weeks, I come home and some groceries are missing. She replaces them with miniature plastic versions of themselves. I come home from work, looking forward to a Coca-Cola?

My Coca-Cola is gone; there is a miniature plastic version. I break something small and need tape. I find miniature duct tape. I make eggs and want Tabasco. I find miniature Tabasco. It is funny, but also annoying.

My girlfriend thinks this is a joke or a practical prank. What worries me is that she never admits it is hers. Even when I get upset or frustrated, she claims it is "so strange" that "random objects are shrinking in our home?"

This all ended last night. I came home craving something sweet all day. I started baking blueberry muffins—my favorite treat. I got everything ready, preheated the oven, and started the batter. Then I opened the cabinet. The flour was gone, replaced by a miniature bag of flour.

"Ha ha, so funny." I called her and asked where she put it, but she acted clueless. I made a bigger issue: "Look, I got fresh blueberries. I wanted to know where the flour is." She wouldn't drop the act. What is going on?

Before we hung up, she slyly said, "as if you need more muffins" and ended the call. What was that?

I haven't called her back; we haven't spoken in over a day. I am angry. I did something special for myself, and she wouldn't drop the act even after I made it clear I was upset.

Reddit, this sounds crazy, but I might break up over this. She does not take my needs seriously. Do you think I am overreacting?

Update:

My brother played a prank on me; he saw it on TikTok. My girlfriend apologized for her rude comment about the muffins. She suggested I gain weight lately and was annoyed I blamed her.

From Redditor u/ThrowRA-TakeawayCrab:

My husband, Josh, and I have been together for six years, married four, and we have no kids. Our relationship is healthy and communicative. We are both easy-going, and I love him.

Josh started working at a big accounting firm about three years ago; he says he loves it. He makes many friends there and goes out with them for drinks and social events often. I am introverted, so I never wanted to meet his colleagues or work friends, nor did I ask. I have my own friends, and separate friend groups work for us. After yesterday, I realized he never asked if I wanted to meet any of them or go to a work event. That context matters.

I will start with something from a few months ago that I ignored. I was at a bar with friends for Friday after-work drinks. A guy approached me—he was with some friends. He looked somewhat familiar, but I did not know him. He seemed friendly and asked, "[My name], right?" I probably gave him a confused look because he followed up, "I'm Jake, I work with Josh."

I recognized him from photos on my husband's phone. This is embarrassing. I am socially awkward and struggled to end the talk, but he kept talking; he was likely a couple of beers deep. While he spoke, he said, "It's great that you guys are still so close. I haven't talked to my brother in ages."

I thought he was just drunk and making no sense, so I ignored it. He started flirting. I turned to my friends, and we left soon after. I thought nothing bad happened.

Yesterday morning, I walked Monty, our dog—a mix with unique markings—to my usual cafe in town. I waited in line. An older man got his coffee, turned, looked at Monty, and said, "Hello Monty!!!" Monty got super excited. I guessed the man was a colleague of Josh's since Josh brings the dog to the office a few times a week.

I thought it was sweet, so I smiled and said hi. He introduced himself (I guessed right; he was a colleague). Then he said, "Aren't you a good sister, walking his dog for him!"

I felt confused. I stumbled over my words and just said, "It's my dog." I regret it. I could not bring myself to correct him and say I am Josh's wife, not his sister. It felt too awkward; I just wanted to leave.

I seriously do not know what to do about this. What the heck? Should I ask my husband? Part of me hopes it is a mistake. I assume he does not talk much about me at work, and they assume we are related because we both have brown hair. But the thought that he told coworkers I am his sister—and they must have seen photos—makes my stomach turn. I do not know how I would bring this up with him.

Husband told coworkers his wife is his sister.:

Saturday morning, I woke before my husband. He was very hungover, sleeping like a rock. I followed some advice and checked his phone while he slept. I found a folder called 'work'. Inside, he had Microsoft apps like Outlook, Authenticator, and OneNote, plus MS Teams. I opened Teams and looked around.

I was already upset seeing his one-on-one chats with several female coworkers. Some were vaguely flirty; nothing major, but there were messages with playful innuendo or wink emojis. These upset me. They sent me spiraling, but I found no proof of an affair. Still, I followed a suggestion to screenshot the messages and airdropped them to myself.

I sought proof of Josh telling someone I was his sister. I searched "sis" on his MS Teams for "sister" and "sis" results. Messages from group or one-on-one chats appeared from others, all about their own sisters. Then, I found a direct message from Jake (the guy from the bar) to Josh from a Monday months earlier.

Jake's messages stated, "Ran into your sis at [the bar] on Fri. She's single right??"

My husband replied, "Nah, she's married."

Seeing that, I nearly burned up. I shook after reading those messages. I should have confronted Josh about this MONTHS ago. I remain furious with myself for that. Also, I was shocked he told this guy I am married. He does not want anyone having it with me, yet he openly flirts with every woman in the office?

I checked his MS Teams search results. I went back about two years. I found a message from Josh to a group chat. The message read, "me and sis in Nusa Dua." I clicked it. Josh sent that with photos of him and me from our Bali trip. We went to Bali for our second anniversary. I assumed he picked those photos because he was shirtless and worked out, making him look good in them. I cried seeing all this. I took screenshots. I uploaded all the screenshots to myself.

I was devastated. Saturday morning, I went to my friend Sophie's house. Around 1:30 PM, Josh called. I hung up fast. He sent messages like, "where are you baby?" "I'm ordering food, want some?" "sad to not wake up next to you this morning :("

Sunday morning, I woke up more angry than sad. I opened my phone and finally replied, "Coming home now, need to talk." I kept my words vague to make him squirm. I got home, and he tried to hug me. I refused. We just stood in the kitchen. I said, "Why have you been telling your coworkers I'm your sister?"

He frowned and looked stunned. He just said, "Huh?" This made me furious. I told him, don't pretend you don't know. Two coworkers called me your sister, and I have proof you told them. I know you act single. I asked him what he wanted to say.

He still played stupid. He got defensive and just said, "I don't know what you're talking about," or, "Why would I lie about you?"

I showed him the screenshot of his message saying "me and sis," and I told him, "You tell me."

He stated, "I don't know what I'm looking at," and, "I'm confused."

I got angry and left, going back to Sophie's because it felt like a dead end. Around 8:30, he called again. I picked up. He asked to talk and said he had "things to say," so I returned to our apartment. He wrote much on paper like a speech and sat me down on the couch. I will write the main points:

I could not think of anything to say then. He locked himself in the bathroom. I sat on the couch crying. I packed a bag and went back to Sophie's; I am still there writing this. She let me stay as long as I need. I told Josh I needed time away to think about everything and whether I believed him or could trust him again. He told me to take as long as I needed and that he would still be there if I returned, saying, "even if it takes a year."

I need time before deciding my next steps. I cannot say if I lean toward forgiveness or divorce, but those are the only choices.

From Redditor u/BassPsychological293:

This girl I always liked got pregnant by some random guy. Now she wants to date me while pregnant. Her parents want me to step up and "be a man." They do not want to help raise the baby for eighteen years, so she stays with them. She is not easy. I am not the father. She asked me to be her boyfriend and get a job and a home for us to raise the child.

My dad told me to tell her to go by herself and not set my dreams aside. He said I am too young and just a kid. Never get involved with her. He said HER baby is not my responsibility and he would be heartbroken if I took on that burden. He fully supports me joining the Corps. I told her I do not want to get involved. Her dad told me I am not a real man.

Update:

I blocked this girl (and her parents) on all social media and their phone numbers, including their home phone, from my cell phone. I also got a temporary restraining order (a legal process is needed for a permanent one, but I am working on it) against her and her parents. None of them can contact me by any means: phone, email, mail, in person, or through someone else. If they do, the sheriff will send deputies to their house and take them to jail.

Update 2:

My dad drove me to the local courthouse. He got a 'temporary restraining order' against her and her parents. They cannot contact me by any means. If they do, I notify the sheriff. Officers come to their house and take them to jail. This is how courts and law enforcement work here in our small town. Courthouse staff said I must officially appear before a judge. I need to give a solid reason for a permanent restraining order. They said this is just the process; there is no 'safety risk' yet, only 'harassment.' The order could last years or forever if needed. Staff also said I could sue her for slander if she speaks badly about me. That will likely not be worth the time or money. She does not attend the same schools and lives nearby in another town. We likely will not cross paths. I will be gone soon anyway. I do not know the same people.

This Girl Got Pregnant, And She And Her Parents Want Me To Raise Her Baby (I Am Not The Dad) appears in the Reddit Updates That Had Us On The Edge.

I found the court has a legal advocate. This is a college volunteer intern, not a lawyer. This person helps people fill out forms, directs them to the right court section, explains paperwork, and helps with disability access at the courthouse.

I did not know how to handle anything legal; I was clueless. I went for help. The legal advocate felt bad for me. He is a college student studying pre-law, about my age. He helped me. He walked me through every step for filing a permanent restraining order request with the clerk for the next available judge, as fast as possible. He told me to prepare to explain everything to the judge. They might then grant a long-term restraining order against both the girl and her parents.

He identifies with me because he is a young guy my age. He feels bad about the situation. I can tell he went the extra mile for me.

My dad called my mom about the situation. They are divorced, and she lives out of state. My brother, a 17-year-old male, stays with her this summer. He goes there during summers and holidays. I am happy he is not here now. I love my little brother, but I do not need this to be a family issue. I was upset he told my mom because I did not want her to worry. I asked what she could do. My dad said my mom must know because they both care for me. My mom lost control. My brother says she is having panic attacks now.

Relevant Replies From OP:

My dad told me dinner last night that my brother and I are his kids. He says we are his most important people and loves us more than anyone. He is furious at the girl and her parents for messing up my life. He said I am too young and do not deserve this.

My mom's family, like my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, are now calling me by phone about this. They are out of state, like my mom. I am not close to them, but we are friendly and see each other during holidays. This is now a family issue they will remember about me forever, which I did not want. I think my dad should not have told my mom, as there was no reason for her to know. I also think she or my brother should not have told them, but I cannot control people. This situation means the family will remember me for years and draw my mom's family's attention.

The girl's dad is aggressive. He threatens people when angry. He is crazy. He is broke. I know this because there are many rumors about him in the community.

I would not know what is happening on their end unless she or they told me their private talks. The phone call made it clear: her father knows I am not the dad. He said, "Your daughter loves you, go be with her." This is all nonsense. I am stunned he contacted me like this.

From Redditor u/ThrowRA_LosingMind:

I am lost here. This situation is worrying, and I do not know what to do.

About a week ago, my husband became convinced I am pregnant. I have no idea why; I am not. We have not started trying, but we have future plans.

We were just talking, and yes, I mentioned feeling tired. That is all. A few hours later, he came in very excited. I told him I am not pregnant, but he would not accept it.

He makes comments about how happy he is and what a wonderful mother I will be. He talks about what our baby will be like. He says this multiple times a day, not all the time.

I told him I am not. I even took a test because I started wondering, and it was negative. I showed him, and he got annoyed, saying tests can be wrong. He did not speak to me for the rest of the evening. The next morning, he acted like nothing happened.

When I tell him I am not pregnant, he just shuts me out?

I lost control yesterday in bed when he put his hand on my stomach and told him he is acting crazy. I am not pregnant, and his behavior scares me. He slept in the guest room after that and left for work early. I have not seen or spoken to him today.

I am lost. I do not know where this obsession comes from. I asked him if I gained weight, wondering if that confused him. He told me I did not.

I think I will contact his parents. Perhaps a therapist. I do not grasp what is happening, and I worry about my husband.

Edit made the next day.

Thank you for all replies. I did not expect this. It is overwhelming, and I am very grateful. He sleeps next to me now, and I keep reading the comments.

My husband is one of the kindest people I have ever met. I promise you all he does not try to manipulate me or harm me. But that makes me think something is wrong.

I will call my and his parents in the morning after he leaves for work. I might stay with my mom for a while, though I hate leaving him like this. I will also make a doctor's appointment for a blood test. Thanks for the advice.

Update. Post: August 9, 2024. Two days later, four updates from the original post.

Hi everyone. I hope this update is okay. I appreciate everyone asking if I am safe, and I am.

I wish I could give clear answers, but I cannot.

Things worsened when I spoke to him, keeping your advice in mind. I sat him down. I told him I want kids with him later, but I am not pregnant now. His insistence scares and worries me.

I offered to go to the doctor together to ease his mind, or I could take another test in front of him. (I just hoped to make him stop this.)

He became very agitated. He said hurtful things and accused me of lying many times. He claimed I was trying to keep our baby away from him, and so on. Nothing made sense. I felt unsafe. I knew my husband would never harm me, but that was not my husband.

Things got worse. He hurt me, but nothing permanent or requiring emergency care. If he were sane, he would never have done this.

I called my and his parents. I am staying with my mom now. He seemed calmer after his parents arrived.

I have not seen or spoken to him since. His mother, who is an angel, keeps me updated on everything. We all agree something is very wrong with him, but we do not know what. He has not agreed to any check-ups. I do not know how they will proceed, but they say—and I must accept it painfully—that keeping distance is best because most of it targets me.

I am safe, and so is he. I miss him greatly and just want to know why he acts this way. I keep trying to find signs before, or what I did wrong.

Thank you for the replies. They helped a lot. It is kind you cared to ask if I am safe.

He apparently agreed to get checked out, but I have not heard anything else.

Mini Update 3 is in. Comments.August 15, 2024. This post is ten days after the original.

He is in the hospital. Many people said it was a medical problem. I will share more later, perhaps. First, I need to see what happens to him.

I see him a couple of times. Sometimes he acts normal; other times, he cannot stand seeing me. We manage somehow.

Update. Post 2: August 16, 2024. This is eleven days after the original.

I do not know if anyone will see this. You have all been kind to ask if we are okay.

I hope I reach you like this. I will keep this brief.

My husband has a brain tumor. Many people commented this. I feel huge guilt for not considering it sooner. We dismissed all the headaches and other symptoms before because of his stressful work and so on. I blame myself for not seeing it.

A great team of neurosurgeons, oncologists, and other doctors are figuring out the best plan. We will hear more in the next few days.

I spend more time with my husband. Some moments he is amazing; others, he is angry. It is hard, but we manage. Our friends and family support me.

I love my husband. This situation terrifies me. In clear moments, he tries to make me laugh, so I do not worry. That is who he is.

Thank you all for pushing me to get him checked.

Side. Post: September 8, 2024. This is three weeks later.

Title: I am angry at my husband for having a brain tumor.

I cannot say these feelings aloud to people around me. I hope it is okay to post this here.

I am furious at my husband for getting sick. I know he is not to blame; I know he is suffering. Still, I am furious with him. I cannot explain it.

He is the love of my life. How dare he get sick? How dare he change the wonderful life we planned? How dare he leave me so soon before we are old and senile? Two months ago, our life was perfect. How could everything get so awful so fast?

I love him so much it hurts. Because of that, I am so angry with him now.

I feel like a terrible person.

Update. Post 3: September 17, 2024. This is nine days later, six weeks since the original.

It is 2 AM here, so I apologize if this is not clear.

I will step away from social media. I want to leave you with a brutally honest update. It is silly, but your support meant a lot to me.

Do not misunderstand me. I have wonderful family and friends. But I must comfort them too, and I cannot handle this right now.

My husband is dying. In five weeks since his diagnosis, he got worse fast. Today, we decided not to continue treatment, or even start it right. He lacks the strength. He has a month, maybe. If we are lucky.

I am furious at the world and at him. This makes me a huge bitch because what kind of person gets angry at her husband for being sick. I love him deeply, and I hate him for it.

Sorry this is not a better update. I wish you all the best.

Update Post 4: October 27, 2024 (four weeks later, two and a half months from the original post)

Title: He passed

He died on the 16th. We held his funeral soon after.

Thank you for the messages. I wish you all the best.

Update Post 5: February 22, 2025 (four months later, six and a half from the original post)

Title: Little update

Hi friends.

I wanted to write something here. I do not know if anyone will see it or care.

I probably did not show it right. But your words meant something to me.

I am doing okay-ish. Grief sometimes makes me physically sick, but I manage. My friends have been wonderful.

For a time, I stepped back from my family and his. I regret that. I had trouble handling their sadness. But we are mostly better now.

I have a dog now. My friend had to get rid of him because her living situation changed and asked me. Saying yes (at first, it was temporary) was the best thing. It gave me a reason to get up, to focus on something else. (Do not gift grieving friends random pets now, but it worked out well for me.)

I started working again a few weeks ago, only part-time. It is going alright.

I recommend therapy for anyone going through this. I resisted first. Then I agreed and found a therapist I did not connect with (I see now) and stopped again. I tried again eventually, and I am grateful I did. I feel much more comfortable and heard with her.

It is hard, I will not lie. I wanted to die sometimes. I still do. But I feel 'lighter' than before. Things are getting better. I still cry often, and that is fine. (As my therapist would say.)

One step at a time.

Thank you for giving me more kindness than I expected from strangers.

*****Final Update Post: November 4, 2025 (eight and a half months later, fifteen months from the original post)*****

Title:Last update

I have been checking this account often lately. I decided it is time to stop.

It has been over a year since we lost him. It still feels unreal. But I just wanted anyone who sees this to know I am doing quite okay. I work full-time, I started a new hobby, and I try to spend time with people I love. Most importantly, I realized there are days I enjoy myself again, and I am so thankful for that.

Do not misunderstand me; it is still very hard. I miss him every day. I still go to therapy weekly. But I feel like I am slowly moving in the right direction.

Dating is off the table. But that is fine because I have the best dog to keep me company.

Thank you all so much for caring and letting me be my full grieving self here. You made a huge difference for this stranger.

All the love.

From Redditor u/ThrowRAPissedOffGF:

I am angry. I only want to complain. If someone mellow wants advice, I need it. I want to send that guy off a cliff.

I am 27; he is 33. We have been together four years. We share artsy hobbies and often make handmade Christmas gifts for each other. We usually enjoy this, but this year he constantly leaves his ball hair under my toilet seat at my house, whines about Boris Johnson, and does my Swedish in. I saw a Dogs Trust ad showing Milo the Doberman spending Christmas alone, and I feel jealous.

I sew as a hobby. For Christmas, I wanted to make my boyfriend a blazer. He asked for one for his birthday, but I could not get fabric this year. I have made blazers before. The materials I bought this time cost more, so I used leftover fabric from a past project. I made a mock-up to confirm it was correct.

For three days, I sewed about eighty tiny, invisible pockets, seams, and button holes. Now, I have a decent mock-up of what the real blazer looks like. I needed to check the fit, so I asked him to try it on for ten minutes so I could confirm.

He started a fight with me when he refused to try the blazer on as I asked. The trial blazer had flowers on it. It was pinned to my mannequin, a woman, during the week. He will not wear it, even though he knows I am the only one who will see it. I wish I were joking. No, I am not joking; the girls and I are laughing about it.

If he thinks I will go to the craft shop to buy more fabric because he wants a mock-up without flowers, he can ride his bike to Timbuktu. He has acted like an idiot for weeks. I am tired of his nonsense. I will not coddle him or treat his request as reasonable after I spent £200 on materials for this blazer.

I discussed this with my therapist. He suggested ways to solve this conflict. I have come up with these:

Shag his dog and then go on the Jeremy Kyle show to tell him.

Make him sleep in the car and then have the car towed off the pier.

I will give him a card and a Snickers bar for Christmas. I will wait for him to complain, then throw his clothes out the upstairs window while the neighbors watch.

I am open to other suggestions if you have better ideas.

Update:

His things are packed by the door. He decides when to come and get them.

He knew I was a cold bitch when he started dating me. I did not know he was a child until I had to lock myself in a house with him. I deserve some slack.