Weird Company Mascots

McDonald's gets touchy about this guy.McDonald's really don't like him.Calling the original Ronald McDonald a nightmare causes a person to need great bravery and self-possession to avoid screaming in bed.

Articles and blog posts online vilify the Quiznos Spongemonkey. Britain's Joel Veitch created the "spongemonkey" character in 2003. Quiznos picked up this strange, stomach-turning rodent-like thing as its mascot. That event changed everything.

Do not YouTube Krinkles the Clown. Just do not. Krinkles the Clown was a mascot for Post Sugar Rice Krinkles in the '60s. The villain in Air Bud wasn't traumatizing enough.Air BudKrinkles the Clown was not traumatizing enough.

Chuck E. Cheese seems okay at first. His animated version is different. But the actual Chuck E. Cheese arcade involves greasy cheese pizza. You watch a failed actor in a giant rat suit play a fake guitar. Even a jump in the ball pit does not erase those sad rodent feelings.

This one needs little explanation. What is less appealing than an anthropomorphized blob of snot in ill-fitting plaid trousers and a dirty tank top? Thanks for nothing, Mucinex.

The Creepy King is a list addition. One iteration of Burger King's Burger King, the Creepy King ended in 2011. CFO Josh Kobza retired him because he "scared away women and children."

Do you not recall these guys? You likely have repressed them. Wenlock and Mandeville were the mascots for the 2012 London Olympics. Their made-up story unfolds like this:

A mascot's charm is its timelessness, like cartoon characters or Paul Rudd; mascots do not age. McDonald's missed this. The fast food chain's update on the classic Hamburglar sent people to Burger King when it premiered in 2015. People seem to dislike a badly-dressed dad stealing their patties.

Jack in the Box won many advertising awards for its mascot, Jack I. Box, a regular businessman with a lifeless head. The empty grin and vacant eyes cause nightmares. Recreating the most startling toy attracts children to your restaurant.

People seem desensitized, so nobody calls for Ronald McDonald's resignation. However, looking closely at the longtime McDonald's mascot reveals odd unease. Bright, clashing colors; inexplicable pallor; unwarranted cheeriness... heebie jeebie central.

"Hey, guys, know a good idea? If our commercials were just a pair of disembodied female lips with a male voice. That will make people hungry for Dairy Queen, right? Guys?"

More than one of these creepy little guys exists. The Scrubbing Bubbles website lists four mascots: Scrubby, Mindy, Poppy, and Sudsy. Each mascot has its own troubling trivia. Scrubby's favorite quote is "I love the smell of porcelain in the morning."

Planters achieved success with their Mr. Peanut mascot. That does not make him less weird. Someone put a top hat and monocle on an anthropomorphized peanut. Why is he yellow? This mascot makes you fear conversations about KenKen versus Sudoku.