The 20 Worst Things About Being A Bartender

I know my job. You stand there waiting. You snap at me or wave money. That won't get me to you faster.

This is not a free-for-all! I do not take your paperclips just because you want them.

You can slip a beer here and there. But expecting regular free drinks is unfair. Your boss did not start yesterday. You make money!

Every job brings unhappy customers. This is just life. But dealing with customers eight drinks deep makes it much harder.

Your customers are having a great time tonight. But good things stop. You worked twelve hours straight. You need them to leave so you can close the bar and sleep.

If you are the only customer, take your time. But the worst part of a busy night happens when you ask the person who waited four minutes what they want, and they just say, "ummmmm......" while checking the bar.

Dealing with drunk people is a bad part of bartending. This job would be easier if people respected their limits.

Why must you split the night's tips fifty-fifty with the other bartender when you did most of the work?

People get condescending around you. You know how to make a Manhattan. I think I made many more than you.

This is usually the person who flags you down for five minutes and then doesn't have their order ready.

If you plan a night out with friends, ensure you tip enough. I did not sacrifice my social life and leisure to work all night for six people for three dollars.

Experienced bartenders know what they do. They have the system down. If you think they skip you on purpose, you are wrong. Or, you did something to anger them.

Some bars close your debit card if you leave it behind, adding a twenty percent tip to the bartender. Forgetting the card inconveniences the customer, but the bartender stops their next day's work when you show up hungover asking about your card.

Birthdays happen every night. If a bartender gives free shots for every birthday, they make no money.

Send back your disgusting drink. That still annoys the bartender trying to serve 30 thirsty adults who lack time for your fancy order.

You cannot buy a round for friends? You demand splitting the $12.00 tab into four parts?

Many think bartenders must love working days because they are "easy." If you waste hours working, you can make money doing it.

Learning new drinks can be fun. Not on a busy Saturday night when the bar is at its peak.

Give your bartenders a break. Charge your phone fully before you leave. I make drinks; I am not your Genius Bar. I use the only outlet.

I will tell other patient customers to wait. I must Google this weird cocktail on my iPhone.