Uber Drivers Describe Their Worst Passengers

From Reddit user hobbestigertx:

Here is my worst rider yet.

I drive in Dallas on Friday and Saturday nights. Around 1:00 am, I get a pickup ping on McKinney Ave downtown. Surge hit 3x, so I thought I might get lucky with a long trip to Plano or somewhere.

I fight the terrible traffic and reach the bar. I put my flashers on, but no one approaches. I text the rider and see someone pull out their phone. I see a blonde girl in her early twenties pull out her phone; she is completely wasted.

I get out and call her name. She looks at me and falls down right away. A guy helps her up; he feels her up while he does it. I walk over, tell him to leave, and help her to my car. I put her in the back seat; she is clearly too drunk. She is also wearing a little jumper and falls out of it. I fasten the seatbelt and ask for the address. She is barely talking, but she gives me the address. At this point, I wonder if she took something.

I drive her to the uptown address, about five minutes away, and stop. She is passed out in the back seat, smelling terrible of alcohol. I help her out; she falls into the street. I pick her up and walk her to her apartment building door. She struggles to get her keys from her bag and leans back onto my thigh with her butt to stay steady. Her key fails, so she calls her roommate.

We wait for her roommate to come down and open the door. Then, the leg of my jeans feels wet. Yes, she urinated all over my leg, down into my sock and shoe. I help her roommate get to the elevator, say goodbye, and drive back to my car.

When I reach the car, I say "fuck it" and take off my shoes, socks, and pants. I ball them up in a plastic bag I had in the car and put them in the back. I drove home in my boxers.

From Reddit user LITTLE-GUNTER:

A guy shit himself in my backseat.

From Reddit user Tokotork:

I picked up five girls from the University about ten minutes away. They acted like typical drunk sorority girls, and I enjoyed talking to them most of the time. Near the party house, the girl in my passenger seat opens my door while I drive over 30 mph, and she vomits all over my window, door, and dashboard.

I pull over to check if she is okay, assess the damage, and close my door. While stopped, this girl's friend decides to exit the car, drop her pants, and urinate on the sidewalk. I am stunned by how trashy these girls act (it was 10:30 pm). Still, they all get back in, and we drive the last minute to the party. There, they all exit and say "thanks" without trying to clean my vomit-covered car.

From a former Reddit user:

Two weeks ago, I drove two young girls home around 3 am on a Friday. They were quiet and polite passengers. When they got out, I found they had stabbed my back seat. The dashcam review showed they made 'gun hand' gestures at me during the trip. They paid full retail price for a new seat. Attacking a driver seems suicidal, but drunk girls act crazy. I watch the rear view now.

From Reddit user rimennel:

I drive for Uber sometimes. One guy got angry when I did not speed through rain to get him to the airport. He spat on me. I pulled over on the freeway. I threw him out of the car and told him to move his luggage about half a mile. I drove half a mile, put his luggage on the freeway shoulder, drove to a store, and wrote an incident report. Uber never replied, just a canned message about "remain professional in stressful situations".

From Reddit user ZiggiEzolli:

I started driving for Uber this week. Saturday night, around 2 am, before I call it a night, I got a ride request from a college bar less than a mile away, so I took it. I arrived and picked up three very intoxicated girls. The fourth person outside told me she ordered the Uber and needed me to take her friends home. The least drunk of the three got in the front seat with me; the other two dragged themselves into the back. They all asked if they could vomit in my car, and I told them no. I also explained that if they did, their friend paying for the ride would face the $200 clean-up fee. This angered them because I told them where they could and could not throw up.

The girl who ordered the ride asked me to ensure she got inside her house safely. They got out and began stumbling through the neighborhood, moving from house to house searching for the girl's address. I walked to the house with the address on the door, telling them this was the address their friend gave me. They yelled at me, claiming they knew their friend's house and that it wasn't correct, telling me to "take my money and leave." The girls in the backseat asked me again if they could vomit in my car, and I gave a final "no." Instead, they threw things at my car before driving off down the street. One person fell into the street and lay there laughing. I said fuck it and left them.

From Reddit user8bitcaffeinated:

A female driver picked up a law student after last call in West Hollywood one Friday night. He was very drunk and wanted to go to UCLA. This was no problem. He got a call from his wasted friend, so I stopped the car so he could check if we needed to turn around for his friend. No big deal; I had the clock running. The friend did not need a ride, so we left.

He talked about having a good night and needing this after a bad week. He broke up with his "bae" on Wednesday and urinated on her apartment stoop because she would not call him a cab. Thursday night, he talked himself out of a DUI, so he rode Lyft Friday to avoid another ticket. This guy was a classic UCLA Law Bro.

I lightheartedly told him that was two of three karmic strikes; he should keep his head down for a while. He laughed and agreed. We reached his place, and he started going with, "Man, you're so pretty, you look nothing like my ex, maybe that's why you're so pretty..." He puckered his lips while grabbing my shoulder to move toward the front. "Get the fuck out of my car, I've got mace up here!" I shouted. The guy froze and drunkenly rolled out of my car. I call that strike three.

From Reddit userTehMetaxa:

A former Uber driver decided to try his luck in Hollywood one night after the clubs closed. As I pulled up to the pickup spot, a group of people started poking their heads into my car, asking if it was theirs. I finally found the girl, and she opened my passenger door, telling me to wait because she needed to find the rest of her friends.

I blocked traffic while she loudly called for her friends. She pulled one girl into the back seat and returned to the still-open front door, saying more were coming. The police car pulled up behind me and used its speaker to tell me to keep moving. I told the girl to get in so I could go around the corner; she refused and kept yelling for her friends. The cops got out and demanded I move the car or face arrest or tickets. I told them the girl would not let go of the door or get in.

They yelled at her and me to get in or let go of the door. She said no; she needed her friends. The cop moved her and shut the door. I left with her drunk friend and had no idea where to take her. I drove around the block several times, could not find her again. I spent time trying to wake the girl and get an address. She finally gave me a rough idea of where she lived. I drove her there and found her crew outside. I did not ask what happened. I dropped her off with her friends and went home. I will not do that again.

From Reddit userUnadvisedd:

I picked up a guy from a bar during the day. I took him to a casino nearby. On the freeway, a woman started tailing me and beeped constantly. I panicked slightly. He told me, "That might be my wife, don't worry, she'll stop soon." She followed us for the full twenty-minute ride, beeping nonstop. At the destination, he practically jumped out of my car and ran for the door. She followed him in her car, nearly hitting him. His last words to me were, "Don't ever get married!"

From Reddit userLOLRicochet:

I picked up a couple at a beach bar; they were quite drunk. During the ride, they argued about going out. It became clear they were a new couple and she worked as a stripper. They debated going to the club she worked at. They decided against it.

Four weeks later, I got a call about a trailer park. The same guy was throwing out his ex-girlfriend. He came out, said you're taking her home, tossed all her stuff in the car, and said, "Have a nice life."

All her belongings fit in two backpacks and a purse. She cried in the car ride home, calling him on his cell phone, trying to get back with him.

Her home was even worse than the trailer park—appliances rusted outside. I asked if she was okay, and she sobbed, "Yes." I took her things and left.

From Reddit userjustsoyoknow:

I had an elderly woman using Uber because her family would not drive her to the airport. She seemed very uncomfortable. She kept asking if I was married. She sat in silence for forty-five minutes. She tried to give me cash for the fare, $60 is the flat rate; other taxis charge more. She got upset that I would not take her money and thought I would report her. I felt bad, but she was scared the entire time. This made me feel predatory.

From Reddit userCankleking:

An Uber driver in San Diego picked up two middle-aged (40-50) people who were very drunk. The man talked about his past with the woman, and he became frisky, kissing her while she spoke. Then, she returned the kiss. They started making out hard; I heard wet lip smacking. I hope it was her lips on her mouth.

The man moved on top of her, placing his hand on my seat for leverage to get on top of her. He kept this up, moving his hand around, putting it on my shoulder. He grabbed my shoulder, holding it while making out with this woman. He touched my face once, then moved back to my shoulder, realizing it was a bad spot for leverage. I drove ninety mph to their house, praying they wouldn't have sex in the back of my new car. They gave me a $20 tip, so I think it was worth it.

From Reddit userWynnewynne

I drive in Dallas and see many things, but one client stands out.

At about 3:00 AM Sunday, I got a call for a location near a highway, north of a bar district. I knew things would get strange; the middle-aged man stood by a frontage road when I picked him up. He told me to go northeast of the city for a place he wanted to visit. This made no sense since nothing happened northeast that late. I took him anyway. There, he mentioned looking for a massage place, and I understood. As a good Uber driver, I told him the address was wrong—it was on a ring road—and he needed to go to the northwest side of the city, Koreatown, for his 'happy ending'.

While driving him there, he talked about his wife and church, asking me to join him. His request was to take him to hookers to cheat on his wife. I smiled and nodded. I got him where he needed to go. As a good driver, I told him I would drive an extra mile, saying I dropped him at a restaurant so his wife could check the receipt. He liked the idea, and I decided I was finished with him.

Thirty minutes later, the guy called, asking me to pick him up. I drove over; he asked, and I picked him up. His mood improved. He told me how great it was when his wife called. He panicked, asking me to make up a story for her. I grabbed the phone and told her he lost his car downtown (which was true) and was getting food, so I was taking him home. She bought it and thanked me for his husband. I took him home right away. I felt bad then. At the end, he tipped me forty bucks. Six hours of fares brought in over sixty dollars; it was pretty good.

From Reddit userrandomf*ckingguy:

My first and last night driving for Uber.

Last New Year's in LA, I drove. I dropped a passenger by bars downtown. As I left, I looked left and saw a kid on the curb. He zoned out, trying to ask for a ride, surrounded by bouncers. I thought, "That kid is going to puke." But my naivety let me dismiss that thought about what came next. I drove a few blocks. My next request came in. Seeing how close the fares were, I felt anxious. That kid was my next fare. I almost canceled the trip. Greed beat sense, and fares were high.

As we started the trip, a few blocks up, he began to dry heave. I pulled over. Thankfully, that was all. We reached the spot where he said, "This isn't Bel Air." I told him I only dropped him at the address he gave me. He offered me $200 cash if I took him home. Minutes into the trip, driving 75 mph on the 10 from DT to BA, the kid rolled the window down. He stuck his head out and vomited all over the passenger side of the car and a little on the inside of the door.

The kid lived at the far end of Bel Air, near the Vally, not Sunset Blvd. He opened his wallet to pay me. You guessed wrong; this kid had no money. He mumbled that his mom would pay me and told me to wait. I grabbed his phone to check if he returned. Before he left the car, his mom came out, shouting his name—which happened to be mine too. I answered, "Yes!?" I wasn't sure why. She told him to get in, then asked me to tell her everything. She acted like this was nothing new. I told her our deal and that he got sick everywhere. She sighed, rolled her eyes, and nodded, acting like this was normal. She went inside, returned, and gave me $300, apologizing for her son's actions.

From Reddit userNorthsidebill1:

A 74-year-old woman hit on me once. She and her boyfriend went to a play downtown. The man got too tipsy to drive home. She said, "He was too drunk to service me, even!" This happened around 10 p.m. on a Saturday night. I drove her home. She asked if I wanted wine. I politely refused; it was too early to stop driving Saturday night. If she offered the money I missed, I would have hit that like a freight train.

Reddit userpatdatruth

Someone put a blow-up doll with two 40s duct-taped to its hands in my passenger seat. They said the Uber was for her. He closed the door. I just drove me and the doll to the destination.